some are nsfw, some are silly, some are angsty, some are from shows, movies or other places. change pronouns if necessary and fill in the blanks with whatever your heart desires. basically have fun with this.
❛ life is too short for soft porn. ❜
❛ it’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring – not anymore. doesn’t that sound like an intro to some horror movie ? ❜
❛ every time you ___________, you owe me a dollar. ❜
❛ no, i didn’t fart. ❜
❛ i didn’t know they smoked weed ! ❜
❛ how many sugar daddies do you even need ? ❜
❛ i just want ________, is that too much to ask ? ❜
❛ i have no desire to be ________. ❜
❛ they’re as straight as a bendable straw. ❜
❛ whatever you do, don’t marry _______. ❜
❛ do you think i’d be a good sugar daddy ? ❜
❛ stop tagging everything with #_____________. ❜
❛ weed is for kids, gimme ________. ❜
❛ thank god i can kill people. ❜
❛ how do people not see the dick/pussy game i have ? ❜
❛ i just wanted to be happy for once. ❜
❛ what do you mean you’re not coming back ? ❜
❛ i thought we had something. ❜
❛ don’t you fucking dare. ❜
❛ do you think i enjoy this ? ❜
❛ at least i’ll have kick ass last words when i die. ❜
❛ i want to die. ❜
❛ this isn’t what it looks like… ok maybe it is. ❜
❛ well, thanks, captain obvious. ❜
❛ _________ is my middle name. ❜
❛ three yikes and you’re out. ❜
❛ i hate you and your stupid __________. ❜
❛ jinx, you owe me a kiss ! ❜
❛ i think about you naked… and afraid. sorry, bad joke. ❜
❛ i’d do it for you. because i love you. only you. ❜
❛ look, i don’t just suck anyone’s dick, ok ? consider yourself lucky. ❜
❛ shut up, there’s kids near by ! ❜
❛ you seem like the type of guy that’d adopt 20 kids. ❜
❛ it’s not my fault you’re hot as fuck. ❜
❛ i saw someone slip something into your drink. ❜
❛ why didn’t you follow me back on instagram ? ❜
❛ what do you mean you’ve never played __________ ? it’s only the best game ever. ❜
❛ holy shit. ❜
❛ ok, before you get mad at me, lemme explain. ❜
❛ just shoot me, you’d be doing me a favor. ❜
❛ look, you don’t have to do this alone. ❜
❛ no, i’m not going to marathon ____________ with you. ❜
❛ why is ___________ on your netflix ? ❜
❛ lemme buy you a drink. ❜
❛ call me _________. if we’re dating, call me __________. ❜
❛ they’re gay ? thank god, i was about to be really disappointed. ❜
❛ can i see your boobs ? it’s a social experiment. ❜
❛ bigger is always better, especially when it comes to _________. ❜
❛ ew. ❜
❛ only you would say that. ❜
❛ why did you stay ? ❜
❛ we’re partners in crime… literally. ❜
❛ every group of friends has someone gay… i hope it’s ________, because _______ is cute. ❜
❛ fries before guys. ❜
❛ bros before hoes. ❜
❛ why do white people find everything spicy ? ❜
❛ when will people stop mispronouncing my name ? ❜
❛ i think i’m in love. ❜
❛ i’m stressed out. ❜
❛ i’m shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts. ❜
❛ don’t forget about me. ❜
❛ take my hand. ❜
❛ it’s going to be ok, i promise. ❜
❛ why are women boobs censored and man boobs aren’t ? isn’t that sexist ? ❜
❛ don’t talk to me or my 5,000 insecurities ever again. ❜
❛ why is being a pussy bad ? ❜
❛ it’s time for… the talk. ❜
❛ absolutely not. ❜
❛ it’s hard to forget. ❜
❛ what was it like ? ❜
❛ stop repeating cheesy picky lines. ❜
❛ what did you find on youtube this time ? ❜
❛ can i feel your muscles ? ❜
❛ i hope the gender binary is destroyed. ❜
❛ we’re not naming our baby ________. ❜
❛ don’t. ❜
❛ i’m your worst nightmare. ❜
❛ tell me another pun. ❜
❛ i love the smell of __________ in the morning. ❜
❛ kiss me one last time. ❜
❛ why won’t you love me back ? ❜
❛ i’m tired of this. ❜
❛ it’s the only way. ❜
❛ don’t do this. ❜
❛ you could beat me up and i’d say thanks. ❜
❛ don’t hurt yourself like this anymore. ❜
❛ lemme patch you up. ❜
❛ hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag time gal. ❜
❛ this is the shit you see in the movies. ❜