please stand by

Hi, I’m Valeria, or Val, or Vee, whatever... this is mainly a Fallout 4/Paladin Danse blog but I don't respect the rules, basically because I love a lot of stuff, you can check my beloved favourites through the tag #about me; #may and #about may are the tags for my little FO4 OC, it would be cool if you got to meet her.

As you noted, English is not my first language and I kinda go freestyle with it... I've had no complaints so far.

I am currently in a serious economic and family crisis so I don't update the blog that often, but I come back whenever I can to check my lovely mutuals and their equally lovely OC’s.

I'm trying to save money for my voice acting school and finally fulfill my childhood dream, and with no job it’s effing difficult, here’s my KO-FI if you like to support me in any way, I swear, anything helps:

ko-fi.com/veecrisis

[art by @zztzza on X]

It was a Wednesday of July and something bad happened... I mean, it was bad for me, maybe another person could have shrug it off and go ahead like it had never happened, but not me, I'm just the weak type I suppose... Since that bad thing happened, I spent the rest of the day in numb and with the persistent urge to harm myself... Like it was my fault and I needed to be punished... My stupid job did nothing to distract me from that thought, it simply started the countdown, -once you're at home, you'll do it- said my brain, just like that, an household chore to do: first dishes, then cut myself. We went home that night, me and the tears, luckily dad is half deaf and my sobs won't wake him up, the cutter was on the pen holder and the cats were nowhere to be found, every conditions that strengthened my convintion... Then it was just me and the cutter lying on my bed, I turned on the TV but I wasn't listening, I ran my fingertips over the old scars, all the way from my right knee to my hip, two of them are still bright pink, -just do it you stupid piece of trash, do it and hide everything as always-, but before the blade could touch the skin an extraneous thought stopped my hand and... I couldn't do it... I just couldn't, because it was the 3rd of July... It was his birthday... -well you just have to wait after midnight- said my brain, but even then I couldn't because somewhere in the world it was still the 3rd of July, I didn't want to stain that date with blood... and realizing I was counting the seconds again I took the other half dose of my medication and tried hard to fall asleep, clutching and breathing the pillow until the Triazolam kicked in...