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Use one or more of these in your next story/imagine
* I donât go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.
* Are you crying? No my eyes are sweating.
* Good morning world. Your favorite sarcastic ray of sunshine is here.
*Sarcasm: the ability to insult idiots without them realizing.
* Twinkle twinkle little star. I wanna hit you with my car. Throw you off a cliff so high, hope you break your neck and die.
* There are 1,013,913 words in the English language but I could never string any of them together to explain just how much I want to hit you with a chair right now.
* Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and itâs better to be absolutely ridiculous then absolutely boring.
* Youâre a dollar store with regular pricing
* Would you like a table? No lamp for five please.
* Are you single? Ew no Iâm album
* Shut up I wear heels bigger then your dick.
*Oh honey youâve gone beyond muffin top, thatâs a rusted can of biscuits.
* Are you made of sulfur, uranium, carbon, and kalium? Cause you suck.
* Are you nemo? Because you should get lost.
* Are you cold? No dumb ass Iâm on vibrate mode.
* scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot morons.
* Donât stand to close to the heater babe. Plastic melts.
* Iâm not fat. My stomach is three dimensional
* If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ
* You must have been born on a highway. Thatâs where most accidents happen
* I just pretend to know what Iâm talking about 150% of the time. If you canât blow them away with your brilliance baffle them with your bullshit.
* Well arenât you a psychedelic lollipop triple dipped in psycho.
The world wonât get serious about this unless a post goes viral and thatâs sad af You rather talk about a vine video or popular culture ok thatâs fine and all but thereâs a cure for HIV/Aids and america is lying There is a cure for HIV/Aids and no one will spread the news for those who are diagnosed with it, so that THE WORLD COULD WAKE TF UP There is hope for those who have been diagnosed with a disease that may have given them 20 or so years to live For the first time in the history of the world thereâs is a possible preventative cure for one of the most deadliest viral diseases
The problem with HIV is that this virus is extremely fast in evolving and that means it becomes resistant to a certain temporary cure in a brief time.
That said, if this man really found out a cure for this contemporary HIV version of the virus IT IS VITAL TO SPREAD IT NOW as the virus changes VERY QUICKLY
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The bell above the door rang as it was pushed open, and although the combination of rich coffee and freshly baked sweets could be smelled from outside the cafĂŠ, it wasnât until you had stepped foot inside that you were hit with the delicious aroma.
As the door closed behind you, your eyes dart around the cafĂŠ studying every possible inch. The world becoming colour in your eyes should have stopped being miraculous to you, yet every day that you opened your eyes and saw the various shades and depths of colour was another day that amazed you.
The baristaâs behind the counter wore black button-down shirts and red aprons. They had matching black and red visors on their heads along with what looked like black hairnets keeping their hair safe from falling into coffee or food. Behind the baristaâs was a menu etched in colour on a black chalkboard, the menu varied and separated by each different colour that represented a different menu option.
The coffee, plain and simple, was written in white. Teas and specialty iced teas were written in red chalk. Food was written in blue. Iced, blended drinks were written in green.
The whole aesthetic of the cafĂŠ appeared to be farmhouse chic, which was odd for a coffeehouse in Manhattan, yet it was cozy and comfortable. It transported you from the bustling district in New York City to a small town where everyone knew everyone.
âHi! Can I get anything started for you?â the barista behind the counter greet you when you shuffled closer, studying the menu with indecision.
âIf youâre having a hard time deciding, the Mano dragonfruit refresher is to die for!â Her extra perky smile seemed forced like if she didnât appear this jovial she would be reprimanded or even written up.
âSure.â You agreed without knowing what a refresher even was. âYour largest size.â
âGreat!â She smiled again and punched it into the register. âAnd your name?â
âY/N.â You answered almost too quickly, hoping to get your drink and find a place before Steve and Bucky arrived.
âAwesome! Your drink will be down at the end!â Her perkiness wasnât solely saved for you, as she greet the next person with the same, bright smile.
After you moved down to the end of the counter on the right, you used your time of waiting for further study the cafĂŠ and the patrons inside. The various array of colours that were skewered throughout the building was refreshing. Even if the development of your coloured vision eventually meant the end of your relationship with Peter, it was nice. You always knew the world would be captivating in full colour, but living in colour was more than you expected or hoped for.
It was a disparity that you were living in, a contrast between how you felt about Peter and your relationship and how you felt about seeing the magnificence of the world in the full spectrum of pigmentation.
âRefresher for Y/N!â your drink was set down and as you reached for it, the barista flashed you a smile. âHave a good day!â
You stared at the drink for a moment, analyzing the deep link colour that bordered on magenta, with clumps of berries in the liquid that sloshed against the clear cup. The straw that was pushed into the drink was green, almost a dark line green, that matched some of the accent colours in the cafĂŠ.
You thanked the barista and gurney, briefly making eye contact with Steve and Bucky before you turned and sat in a booth near the back of the cafĂŠ.
You set your drink down on the table and shuffled into the booth, pressing your back against the wall and angling yourself. You gave yourself the ability to watch the people who had come and left, and the colours of their drinks if they had clear cups.
But more importantly, you gave yourself the ability to see Steve and Bucky.
As was his apparent staple, Steve wore a black leather jacket with white trim stretching across the shoulders. He wore a dark blue shirt underneath with a v neckline and a loose fit that wasnât as tight as the shirt he wore when you first met him. His hair was styled slicked back, his beard well-trimmed and taken care of. He didn't seem any different than any regular man, save for the fact that Steve Rogers was bonafide gorgeous.
And so was Bucky.
His dark brown hair had grown out again since the last time you saw him a few weeks ago and was now hanging by his chin. He too had a beard, and while it was as neatly trimmed as Steveâs, it wasnât as thick. Like Steve, Bucky had stuck to the staples of his wardrobe with the red henley he worse and the dark blue, bordering on black, jeans.
You watched as they ordered their drinks and stood near the end of the counter waiting as you had. Only as they were waiting, they were standing close together and whispering amongst themselves.
Seeing them together made you envious of the connection they had. The way they looked at each other, or the way they seemed in each otherâs presence was natural and ethereal and it seemed so effortless.
You on the other hand were struggling to keep your relationship of one year afloat while feeling like you and the year spent with Peter was floundering beneath a shipwreck that was leaking oil and on fire.
Were you going to exhaust yourself trying to keep the relationship alive? Were you going to suffer more by putting time and effort into something that was already over?
âHey, doll,â Bucky took the spot beside you, his arm in that red henley that looked so good on him brushing against your own.
âHi, Bucky.â You reached for your refresher and slid it back toward you, sipping on the cool and fruity drink. You wait for the cool liquid to go down your throat before you pushed it to your left.
âHow are you doing?â Steve sat across from you, setting his paper cup down and shifting in a way that caused his knees to brush against yours briefly.
âHonestly,â you sighed and chewed the inside of your cheek, feeling overwhelmed by the seeming screeching halt your relationship has come to, âIâve been better.â
âYou wanna talk about it?â Steve asked, lifting his cup to his lips but not taking a sip yet.
âAre you sure you wanna hear this? About my relationship with Peter?â you first glanced at Steve then Bucky.
They were giving you the entirety of their attention span. They were listening to you and keeping their eyes on you while you talked. They werenât pushing you to talk or forcing you to open up about your boyfriend who was not one of your soulmates.
âItâd better than bottling it up.â Steve reached out and squeezed your hand.
âYou donât have to tell us anything you donât want to. Why donât you just start with something small?â
Bucky suggested, angling his body toward you.
You felt irrevocably safe with them, and you hardly knew anything about them. It appeared that even just being in their presence was enough to ease you and soothe you. Just being around them felt naturally ethereal and delightful, like you were all puzzle pieces fitting together to create a full and bright picture.
âHow was the date after you fixed Stevie up?â Bucky asked first, easing you into the topic of your relationship with a fairly easy transition.
âIt wasâŚawkward.â You looked away from them and focused your attention out the window, watching passing cars and people with no real intent behind your stare. âI feel like Iâm losing my relationship and the harder I try and clutch at it, the quicker it slips away.â
It was true, you felt as though there was a gorge between you and Peter. When he found out that you had seen Bucky and Steve in the hospital a mere half-hour before you met up with him, he accused you of flirting. He accused you of letting them hit on you.
It opened your eyes to the possibility that Peter was as uneased as you. Or maybe Peter was purposefully trying to create a rift to make it easier on the both of you.
âDo you feel like youâre making the right decision? Holding onto a relationship that wonât last?â Bucky nudged his knee against your own without meaning to, the action jerking you from your mid-daze.
âHonestly, I feel like Iâm trying to put a bandaid over a bullet hole or like Iâm dropping a cork into a volcano waiting for it to erupt. Ya know?â You sighed and ran your fingers over the water line on the table that was left behind from your drink.
âWhat else is bothering you,â Steve stroked your knuckles with his thumb.
âPeter can see colour too.â Your frown deepened as your eyebrows furrowed. âHe didnât even tell me. I caught him. He slipped, heâŚâ
You shook your head. There were so many tumultuous factors about your relationship with Peter and it was all just piling on.
âAnd we never even had pet names for each other. I mean thatâs a staple!â
âThe kid never called you âsweetheartâ or âdollâ or âloveâ âdarling?â Bucky glanced at Steve before he cast his eyes back to you.
âNo,â you shift in your seat, âPeter didnât want to give nicknames or pet names. He said itâd be better in the long run if we didnât use them.â
âDo you want one?â Steve reached out and grabbed your other hand, holding and stroking both.
âAs friends,â Bucky added, âit could carry over whenever a relationship forms.â
Butterflies burst in your belly.
Your heartbeat skipped and you were hit with this enduring warmth.
âOkay,â you nod eagerly, a smile replacing the frown, âyeah Iâd like one.â
Bucky hummed and tapped the table. You moved your attention from Steve to Bucky, from blue-green eyes to solid blue, one handsome face to another.
They were both so beautiful, so breathtaking.
âBack in the 40âs weâd call our dates âdamesâ, âdollsâ, âsweetheartâ âdarlingâ, but youâŚâ Steve tilt his head and looked you up and down.
âYou look like a âbaby girl,â Steve spoke the pet name and your body burst with heat. He spoke the pet name and warmth rushed through you from the tip of your toes to the top of your head.
âBaby girl, â you smiled at the pet name, letting it sit on your tongue, âI like it. Baby girl.â
âIt suits you.â Bucky brushed his knee against yours again. âYouâre beautiful, Y/N. The world wasnât entirely black and white before we met you, but having the burst of colour when our eyes met has been the best thing to happen as of late.â
âThank you for listening to me, â you glanced at them both, âyouâre good friends.â
âThatâs all weâll be, baby girl, â Steve confirmed, easing the part of you that was still clinging to Peter, âuntil youâre ready for more. Weâll be your friends and give you any support that we can.â
âYou can talk to us whenever you want,â Bucky added to Steveâs sentiment.
They were offering themselves as friends until you figured out what you wanted to do about Peter. They would be your friends, they would be there for support so you could vent or scream or cry.
Whatever you needed.
âThank you, â your smile met your eyes for the first time in a long time, âIâll take you up on that offer. Might drive you crazy.â
âNot if we drive you crazy first,â Steve smirked and winked, âbaby girl.â
It was nearly another month before you saw or interacted with Steve or Bucky. Youâd spent the last few weeks getting into a routine on the medical floor and taking all the knowledge and training youâd picked up on in school and translating that into the hands-on work in Stark Tower.
Since the revelation that Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were your soulmates, you had done everything you could to avoid talking about the subject and the two conspirators that caused you to see colour in the first place.
Of course, trying to avoid Steve and Bucky was easy enough when they were busy on missions or training the recruits, and if they werenât doing either then they were running simulations.
The only probable way for you to run into them and not have a steady hand on the chances was either a run-in by the elevator or seeing them as patients in the medical wing.
While you were avoiding Steve and Bucky, you had spent a great deal of time with Peter. Youâd tried to avoid causing any wider rift between you since the beginning of it was already damaging and acidic enough. You loved Peter, you wanted to be with Peter however it seemed as if you had already lost him.
Everything you did at this point felt like putting a bandaid on a cracked foundation.
Including dinner dates like the one, you were supposed to be going on after your shift.
âY/N, â the charge nurse stopped you just 15 minutes before you were supposed to clock out, âcan you please assist one last patient before you leave? We just had an entire group of recruits come in for burns and deep abrasions and another patient is waiting with the minor abrasive wound.â
You glanced toward the clock, knowing full well that a simple abrasion could lead to more problems. You knew full well that one simple cut could be something more complicated and take longer than 15 minutes, but you couldnât turn her down.
âOf course, â you reached for the chart, âwho is it?â
The charge nurse already looked exasperated but when you took the tablet from her, there was momentary relief that flashed on her face. That small task was enough to remove some weight from her shoulders, and given the number of recruits that were about to come to the floor, this was the least that you could do.
âBed 5,â she called over her shoulder, âthank you so much!â
You waved your hand and tucked the tablet under your arm as you moved toward a white metal supply cart. You reached for a pair of blue medical gloves and pulled them on your hands, adjusting the fit on your fingers before you continued on your path toward the 5th bed bay on the left side with the tablet back in your hands.
You pulled back the curtain and stepped inside, your attention on the chart displayed on the tablet. You read the reason for being there, the word âabrasionâ and âbleeding at sight of injuryâ twice over. You knew you would need antiseptic and bandages as well as liquid stitches depending on the injury, which was all in the supply cart at each bed.
âHi, I'm Y/N Iâll be your nurse today.â You raised your hand and almost dropped the tablet, the portable chart nearly slipping from your grasp at the sight of who was in your care. âWhat happened to you?â
Steve was the patient, with a strip of cloth pressed tightly against the cut in his forehead, the drying blood staining the cloth used in an attempt to stop the bleeding. When he shifted on the bed, you could see small drops of blood on his shoes that had long since dried as well as some blood staining the SHIELD symbol on his black compression shirt.
âSteveâs a cut on his head,â Bucky spoke from the only other chair in the small bay, one leg crossed over the other and his metal hand resting on top of his knee.
Like Steve, he was wearing a black compression shirt with the same symbol on the left above his pectoral. Now that you could see colours, you were slowly differentiating between the vast shades of one colour that brought such beauty to the works. Buckyâs eyes were blue, but they were light blue and crystalline, they reminded you of the pristine river and lake waters from the mountains. They were so clean and clear, so pristine.
Steveâs eyes were blue, like Buckyâs, however, Steveâs eyes had flecks of green in them. His blue-green eyes were as captivating as Buckyâs, just in a different way.
âYeah, I gathered.â You quipped, moving away from the bed toward the supply cart. âHow did it happen?â
You reached for one of the drawer handles and pulled, small antiseptic packages sitting inside. You grabbed two as well as a small roll of bandages and medical tape, and when you had all your supplies, you closed the drawer again.
âWe were training the recruits, â Steve pulled the cloth away from his cut and placed it beside him on the bed.
âAnd Iâm guessing it didnât go well?â you grabbed the single wrapped antiseptic wipe and shook it a few times out of habit before you ripped the top off and pulled the wipe out of the package. You unfolded the antiseptic wipe and stepped closer to the bed and closer to Steve.
âIt may sting.â You gave him a warning before you reached out and started wiping the antiseptic wipe against his cut, trying your damnedest not to laugh when he hissed under his breath and winced.
âWho knew the great Captain America could be brought down by a disinfecting wipe?â you joked, discarding the wipe in the garbage before you waved your hand in front of the cut to dry it.
âHeâs also afraid of needles.â Bucky piped up from his chair in the corner, joining in on the teasing.
âNeedles?â you grinned. âSteve Rogers is afraid of needles?â
He had gripped the edge of the bed with both hands, his blue-green eyes were studying you while you prepared the liquid stitches. His attention on you was making your hands shake ever so slightly, given how much time and effort you had tried to put into avoiding the pair of them.
It just feltâŚnatural. It felt instinctual to be near them and that was a direct conflict with what you were trying to save, with Peter.
âDonât tell anyone,â Steve watched you carefully as you produced a small brush coated with the liquid stitch. âI have a reputation to uphold.â
âOf course, â you nod your head and smirked, âit would damaging for the world to know that Captain Americaâs fear is sterilized medical-grade needles.â
âLittle bit.â His added comment pulled a laugh from you, something small and quiet but lighthearted nonetheless.
âIâm done adding the liquid stitches.â You stepped back to the bedside rolling tray and grabbed a packaged sterilized bandage. âYou need to keep this on for about a day and then it can be removed.â
When you stepped back to him, you had the bandage in one hand and the crumpled package in the other. You threw the package toward the garbage and then you pressed the bandage against his wound, reaching into your left scrub pocket to grab the medical tape.
âI have to ask,â you ripped a piece of medical tape off and placed it on the left side of the bandage to hold it in place, before securing the other side, âhow did the great captain America injure himself?â
You pressed the tape into his forehead as gently as possible, smoothing it down and using that as an excuse to hear the story.
âCouple of new recruits thought itâd be funny to steal one of Starkâs new inventions and bring it to the session.â Steve shift on the bed, brushing his hand against your elbow as he moved. âCaused an explosion and some of the shrapnel got me in the head.â
âThey essentially stole a grenade and set it off as a joke?â you shift your weight from foot to foot. âReal intelligent agents you have.â
You rolled your eyes and started the process of putting away the equipment youâd used. As you closed the third drawer and moved back to grab the tablet to complete the chart, your attention was drawn to the bed where Steve had now stood from.
âAm I going to live?â
âYouâll survive relatively unscathed. Although I think Iâd keep my distance from arrogant recruits with grenades, â you smiled again, âas a rule of thumb.â
âYouâll live to see another fight, â Bucky clapped Steve on the shoulder, âhow many different nurses have patched you up in the day?â
âNone this pretty, â Steve shot a look your way, which had given you pause as you were finishing up his chart.
âI have to agree, pal.â
âY/N, â the charge nurse popped her head into the room, âPeterâs waiting for you. Want me to finish the chart?â
The announcement that Peter was here and waiting for you, had introduced an air of uncomfortable awkwardness that made you want to tuck tail and run. The announcement that your boyfriend who was not your soulmate was here to take you to dinner, while your two soulmates were in front of you, had you very conflicted. You were conflicted between the ease of flirtations that seemed so natural with Steve and Bucky, and the year youâd spent loving Peter Parker.
âItâs okay,â Steve spoke the answer to the question you didnât want to ask, âyou donât want to keep him waiting.â
âYou should go,â Bucky spoke after, reassuring you, âweâll catch up later.â
âY/N?â she called, âdo you want me to finish the chart?â
You swallowed and dove further inside yourself for a brief moment. You set the tablet back on the table and stepped away, still half in a daze.
âYeah,â you finally mumble, âyeah Iâm almost done. Iâll go⌠Iâll go end my shift.â
You turned on your heel and moved from the bed bay, stealing a glance back at the two super soldiers before you ultimately left the area.
â˘your anxiety has made it difficult for you to voice your opinion
â˘your anxiety has made it difficult to dress the way you want
â˘your anxiety has made it difficult to ask for help
â˘your anxiety has made you constantly worry if you are being annoying and wonder if your friends and family are valid relationships or if they just put up with you because they have to
And please know that you are not fighting this battle alone. You are worth more than your anxiety says. You matter and so does your opinion and your say.
You are awesome
1. Razors are a pain in the ass to get out.
2. Donât ever let something get to the point where you canât control it.
3. Shaving will never be the same.
3. Cuts hurt way longer than just when youâre in the shower.
4. Sleeves move around, and they wonât always be covered.
5. The fabric from your jeans will make your skin feel like itâs burning alive.
6. One cut will never be enough.
7. Every line, mark, scrape you see turns into a trigger.
8. Blood smells really, really gross.
9. The scars will constantly remind you, even on the good days.
10. Youâre not sure why it feels good, it just does.
11. ^^ Sometimes it doesnât feel good at all and it will make you cry.
12. Youâll start to see yourself as disgusting.
13. Sometimes the blood wonât stop and you swear itâs your last time, but it never will be.
14. Bandaids, Neosporin, and razors cost a lot of money.
15. Sex becomes very awkward with the lights on.
16. Cuts itch.
17. Then people ask why youâre itching.
18. Youâre too hot to wear that hoodie? Too bad.
19. Youâll throw away your razors and the next day feel like a psycho when youâre digging through the trash.
20. No matter how many excuses you make up for doing it that day, none of them will be valid. Ever.
21. People will think you do it for attention, so youâll start to believe them.
22. Youâll want to stop, you just wonât know how.
23. It will tear your heart out when your best friend does it once.
24. Some places feel better to cut than others.
25. Skin doesnât always grow back the way you want.
26. Youâll feel like a charity case.
27. Some people will treat you like you are one, too.
28. Youâll start to think more about your back up plan for if you start to bleed out rather than college.
29. Youâll get angry if you forgot your razors.
30. Your momâs going to cry really hard when she finally sees them.
for real though. i try to keep things lighthearted here, but NEVER start cutting or hurting yourself in any way. it fucks up how you see so many things and makes you think of how else they can be used, so please, PLEASE talk to someone instead. if needed, Iâll be happy to listen and list alternatives.
FYI, these scars last. Theyâre not just there when youâre 14 and want to die. They last even after youâre clean for a while. Theyâre there when youâre 16 and your mom is teaching you to drive and she looks over to check if your hands are on 10 and 2 and she sees your arm and chokes up. Theyâre there at 17 at your senior prom when youâre wearing your strapless dress and your date tries to put on your corsage. Theyâre there at 18 when youâre donating blood and the nurse asks to see your arms to check for yout veins. And theyâre still their at 19 when you havenât cut in quite a while and youâre at your job putting sauces back on the table and a customer asks âwhatâs that on your armâ. You think theyâre referring to your tattoos. Theyâre not.Â
Instead of cutting when you feel the urge to self harm hold ice cubes in your hand till they melt it can trick the mind into giving you the same relief as cutting does
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Summary: Youâve always been careful with your heart. With your condition, you donât exactly have any other choice. The last time you let someone in, you paid the price. A price you donât plan on paying again. Until Bucky comes in and shatters your carefully crafted world.
Warnings: Angst, Language, Minor Fluff
Word Count: 1.2K
A/n: Grande finale! Oof plz donât kill me but itâs so cute I loved writing this series so much and low-key Iâm sad itâs over but it was so fun to write. If yâall have any ideas for anything you want me to write in the future, send em my way!
Series Masterlist
~*~
The wind is crisp, biting at the exposed skin of his face, his fingers.
He doesnât mind too much though.
The sky is gloomy, like it might rain later in the day. The clouds are a deep grey colour and thereâs sorrow on the wind. He canât help but feel like itâs fitting.
âI uh, Iâm not sure what to say, I guess. Bonnie said it would be good to come swing by for a little while but uh Iâm not sure if she was right.â His voice is shaky and he closes his eyes, hating the silence that meets him.
Summary: Youâve always been careful with your heart. With your condition, you donât exactly have any other choice. The last time you let someone in, you paid the price. A price you donât plan on paying again. Until Bucky comes in and shatters your carefully crafted world.
Warnings: Language, Fluff, Almost Smut
Word Count: 2.3K
A/n: hello I hope you all enjoy this!! Iâm loving this series and I hope to keep updating it and Of Kings and Beasts regularly. Idk though. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
PART ONE
PART TWO
PART THREE
~*~
âYouâre sure I look good?â
Nat groans and climbs off your couch reluctantly, grabbing you by the shoulders and stopping you from pacing anymore.
âYou look gorgeous.â You bite your bottom lip nervously, hands itching to come up to your mouth.
Your hair is pushed behind your ears, natural and beautiful, and your makeup is light. Adorning your body is a simple light blue dress that stops just above your knees, as well as a beige cardigan that hangs loosely off of your shoulders.
Nat grabs you a pair of beige heels and shoves them into your hands.
âPut your shoes on and stop worrying. Heâs on his way up so even if you didnât look good thereâs no time to change now.â You nod, taking a few deep breaths before crouching down and putting your shoes on. Right as youâre doing up the clasp around your ankle thereâs a knock on your door.
You freeze in place, looking at Natasha in absolute terror, and she rolls her eyes.
âItâs open!â She calls. You shake your head, one shoe on and the other off as you run to your bedroom.
âI canât,â you whisper as the door starts to open. Hiding away in your bedroom, you listen to Nat greet Bucky.
âSheâs almost ready. Just needs to grow a pair,â The redhead says loudly, her footsteps clomping towards the bedroom door.
She whips it open, ready to give you an earful, but when she sees the genuine fear on your face she reconsiders.
âBeans, youâre gonna be okay. Heâs a real gentleman and he wonât do anything that you donât want to do, I promise.â You take a few deep breaths, trying to hold back tears.
âWhat if I get hurt again, Nat? I donât think I could handle it.â The weak whimper that leaves you has her heart shattering in her chest.
Summary: Youâve always been careful with your heart. With your condition, you donât exactly have any other choice. The last time you let someone in, you paid the price. A price you donât plan on paying again. Until Bucky comes in and shatters your carefully crafted world.
Warnings: Language, Angst, Fluff
Word Count: 3.2K
A/n: Iâm about to eat an edible and have a fuckin good night. I donât have work for the next two days (as of right now). Iâm just gonna watch some YouTube⌠might have some âme timeâ and just kinda vibe. I love you all very much!! The next ficmas fic is a fluffy one shot!!
PART ONE
PART TWO
~*~
âSo youâre sure I look okay?â You ask, heart beating uncomfortably fast in your chest.
âYes! You look absolutely amazing, beans. Buckyâs gonna love it.â you take a deep breath then nod, rooting through your purse for your makeup bag before getting frustrated and dumping the contents of it on the counter.
âCalm down. Deep breaths with me, (Y/n). Youâll be okay. I promise.â You nod, taking a few deep breaths with her and calming down a bit. âYouâre right,â you whisper, grabbing your makeup bag and your phone and heading into the bathroom to finish getting ready.
Nat talks you through some new makeup techniques from over the video call, smiling at the final product, and you canât help but laugh.
âIâm on call tonight but if you need anything, call me and Iâll help you. No matter what.â You nod, smiling at her.
âAlright. Itâs almost six, he should be here soon. Iâll call you when I get back and Iâll give you all the details.â Natasha nods and gives you a look, silently telling you that there will be consequences if you leave any details out.
âOkay, bye. Love you.â
âLove you too, beans.â You end the call and take some deep breaths, turning the cold water on and running your hands under it in an attempt at calming yourself down further.
Summary: Youâve always been careful with your heart. With your condition, you donât exactly have any other choice. The last time you let someone in, you paid the price. A price you donât plan on paying again. Until Bucky comes in and shatters your carefully crafted world.
Warnings: Language, Fluff, Fluff, Minor Angst, Fluff
Word Count: 2.7K
A/n: So I was really close to not posting a ficmas fic today because I am fucking EXHAUSTED but here is the second instalment to this cute lil mini series!!!! Things are heating up! I hope everyoneâs having a fantastic night and I love you all!
PART ONE
~*~
âReally Gladys? You couldnât like the cereal at the bottom of the shelf? You had to pick the cereal that they keep at the top? The one that no one buys? Was that really necessary?â You curse your neighbour softly, hating her for being so specific about the groceries she wants.
Sheâd heard you leaving your apartment and had immediately shoved a grocery list into your hand when she found out thatâs where you were going.
You glare at the box of cereal, trying to work up the energy to jump for it when a gloved hand grabs the box right next to it.
You whip around, staring up at the person for a moment as your brain tries to recognize them.
â(Y/n). Hi!â You smile tightly up at him.
âHello, James.â He looks up at where you were looking then grins. âWant me to grab that for you?â You nod, not having the energy to deny his help.
âGladys is very specific about the cereal she likes.â He chuckles and hands you the box.
âYeah, she seems like a handful. Gave us all an earful as soon as she was out of the building. Yellinâ at us and using words thatâd shock a sailor.â You groan, shaking your head while a smile spreads on your face.
âI can only imagine what she was saying. Sheâs a handful for sure, but she means well. I mean, sheâs been there for me so many times, itâs only fair I grab cereal for her when she needs it.â James nods, taking you in.
Youâre wearing a pair of black leggings and an oversized hoodie that clearly belongs to a man. He feels his heart hurt a bit at that fact and plasters on a smile.
âWell, Iâd better let you get going. Gladys doesnât seem like the patient type.â You shake your head, slightly surprised at his change in demeanour. âShe really isnât. Thank you again, James.â He nods and heads down the aisle to grab the rest of his groceries.
Your eyes follow him, and you canât help but feel a little disappointed when he doesnât look back.
Summary: Youâve always been careful with your heart. With your condition, you donât exactly have any other choice. The last time you let someone in, you paid the price. A price you donât plan on paying again. Until Bucky comes in and shatters your carefully crafted world.
Warnings: Language, Kind of slow burn, Description of heart condition, children, mentions of death
Word Count: 2.7K
A/n: On the second day of ficmas lex will give to you: A fluffy fireman AU! Lol but in all seriousness Iâve had this idea in my head for a while now and Iâm so glad Iâm finally getting it written. This will be a mini series that may or may not be part of ficmas, I havenât full decided yet. But anyway, I hope you enjoy!
~*~
When listing your worst fears, fire isnât at the top of the list. Hell, itâs not even in the top five. Sure, fire is scary, but not as scary as the dark or spiders or heights.
Of course, itâs hard to rank your fears without having knowledge of what itâs like to be in a situation with them in the first place.
âCâmon Gladys! We need to go!â She hobbles down the stairs as fast as her little legs can carry her, looking back every now and then to make sure youâre still behind her. âYou need to calm down. That heart of yours doesnât need the strain.â You roll your eyes but you know sheâs right.
Your heart thunders in your ears. You can hear it. Every single beat roaring louder than the last. It makes your chest ache and your head spin. But your pills are all the way in your apartment. All the way back up the stairs. All the way where the smoke is.
You let out a choked cough, your right hand coming up to grab at your chest where your heart is beating away at your ribs.
âAlmost there, sweet thing. Maybe theyâll have those handsome firefighters again. You know, the ones from the calendar?â You nod, trying to take deep breaths and focus on what sheâs saying, but itâs so very difficult.
You stumble for a moment, legs trembling before finally giving out, sending you falling to the floor in a heap.
âGo, Gladys,â you rasp, trying desperately to suck in a deep enough breath. She continues down the stairs and you let your eyes flutter closed, ears starting to ring.
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So just a remind I donât own any of marvel or the characters *sob* hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it and as always feedback no matter what kind is welcomed!
Warning: some swear words and hopefully feels in this chapter.
******begin*****
âYou see..,â she paused and looked over at him. âOh Iâm Maddox.â He said holding out his hand. She looked down at it in confusion. Reid snickered while Riley and Jonah smiled. Maddox pulled his hand back his face flushing in embarrassment . âSorry we probably should have warned you, sheâs still new to the whole meeting people thing.â Riley said. âWho you kidding Riley? Sheâs still new to the whole ânewâ thing period. You should have seen it when she saw the outside for the first time.â Reid said. âReid!â Jonah and Riley snapped. âStop it; youâre not helping.â Jonah growled. Reid rolled his eyes exaggeratingly in Mn.0495fâs direction making a face. She giggled as Riley smacked him on the back of his head. âGo do the dishes or something Reid. Make yourself useful.â He said. âYes mother.â Reid said making a pouty face. Everyone laughed as he grabbed the dishes and went into the kitchen, cutting the tension in the room.
âThank you Maddox. As I was about to explain, the number in my name means that I was the 495th in a long line of experiments. To my knowledge only I and one other survived out of over about seven hundred of us. The last one was MN.0691f . She died in my arms about a month before I helped your brothers escape. The serum that they had given her back fired causing her to burn up from the inside out. All that I could do was try to ease her pain as she died. She was only ten. Do you have any idea what that felt like? They took everything from except two things..my one brother that Iâm sure is safe and the one Iâm not.â âWhat do you mean? How can you know that?â Maddox asked. âKnow what?â âWhether theyâre in danger or not?â âOh its just something all of us can do, you know like a baseline ability thing. The strange thing is the one thatâs here in this area I canât sense all that clearly.â She said with a frown. âWhat can you sense? Maybe that can help narrow down the list we have to work with.â Maddox said. âAll that I can say is that Iâm pretty sure heâs a male and judging by how weak the connection is heâs not my full brother.â âWhat else can you sense from him?â Maddox asked fascinated. âThings like strong emotions or whether heâs in danger. Not like âheâs going to get a paper cutâ danger. More like âwatch out thereâs an assassin behind you.â You know he kinda flirts with that type of danger alot, come to think about it.â She said her eyes closed as she concentrated.
Maddox sat back on the couch, closing his eyes to think. After about a minute of that he opened his eyes and grinned. âAlright Iâm in!â He said. âNO!â Riley and Jonah said. Reid popped his head around the corner, âAbsolutely not young man. You have school in the morning.â He said in a mock angry voice before ducking as Jonah threw a shoe at him.
âWhy not? I can help!?â Maddox said upset. âIâm sorry Maddox itâs too dangerous. Youâre not strong enough to face this kind of trouble.â Riley said putting a comforting hand on Maddox â s shoulder. He shrugged it off. âSo what, Iâm supposed to sit here at home. Alone. Again! The last time I stayed home while you all went off, you three disappeared for four years! I had to bury three caskets filled with what I thought was my brothers and lie to my mother for years about where you were. Why she never saw you. Iâm the one who held her hand when she died, arranged the funeral, took care of everything. And now that youâre back you want me to just step aside like last time!? You know what? Fuck you guys!â He screamed. Reid, Riley, and Jonah all stood in front of him heads down while he screamed as gale force winds picked up around him. Suddenly Maddox looked down at the girl that had wrapped her arms around him comfortingly. Jonah stepped forward his hands in front of him in a pleading manner. âNo Maddie. Thatâs not what we meant. Weâre just terrified of losing you too.â
âWe were hoping you could protect her while we were doing what needs to be done.â Riley added quietly. Reid stepped forward his normally bright green eyes dark and glistening with tears. âWeâve been through hell wondering what was going on with you and mom. We were beaten, tortured, experimented on. All we had to keep us sane was thinking of you. We canât lose you too. Youâre all we have left.â He said as one tear rolled down his cheek. Slowly the winds began to die down as Maddox gulped down deep sob like breathes. In a moment the brothers were hugging each other while Mn.0495f stayed quietly in the background and waited.
After a little while they let go and stepped back. âMaddox we were kinda hoping you would help her.â Riley said. âYouâre the only one we trust to keep her safe if this goes south for us.â Jonah added. âAllright I can do that. Iâm sorry. I justâŚâ Maddox said tiredly as he slid his hand down his face. âLetâs hold this discussion in more depth later. Itâs nearly dawn and I donât know about you Maddox but we havenât slept in a few days and you need to go buy more groceries.â Reid said in an attempt to lighten the mood. Mn.0495f piped up. âGo ahead and get some sleep. Iâll keep watch this time.â Maddox looked over at her. âKeep watch? What can you do? I thought they had to protect you?â He asked confused. The other three laughed tiredly as they moved to go to the back rooms to sleep on whatever flat surface they could find. âYou would be surprised at what she can do.â Riley said. âYeah ainât that the truth.â Reid quipped. Jonah looked over at her and said âYouâll need to change into something a little less conspicuous. A dog or a cat maybe?â He said before stepped into his old room. Maddox â s mouth dropped open as he quickly turned around towards where once a girl had been standing. Instead he saw a medium sized dog of mixed heritage looking up at him with soulfull eyes sitting by the side of the couch. Her head tilted up at him in a questioning manner. âHoly shit.â Maddox said dropping back down to the couch. He looked up in surprise as the dog jumped up beside him on the couch. He sighed. âIâm just going to rest my eyes for a minute k? Let me know if some one comes to the door.â He opened his eyes again for a moment when he felt a blanket being pulled over him. He watched as she took up a position in front of the door and let out a sigh.
********end chapter three****
Wow that one was longer than I thought. Hoped you all liked. The next one should be out by tomorrow after noon.
Your world bursting into colours vibrant and breathtaking had ironically cast a shadow over your personal life. The shift from vision of black and white to coloured freedom, had created a reactive shift in your relationship with Peter that you hadnât been prepared for.
âColours,â Peter mumbled into his cup of coffee, âwhat is it like?â
The tension between you two was still at a minimum, yet the fact that youâd found your soulmates had created this light fog that just sat over your heads, hovering low enough to be noticeable yet high enough not to be touched.
âPeter-â
âI know you can see colours. I knew the moment it happened.â He mumbled again, staring at the crack in the table youâd bought together.
âIt doesnât change how I feel about you.â You moved around the table to his side, wrapping your arm around his back while your other hand rest on his left shoulder. âI love you, Peter.â
Your contact with his body had physically drew the tension from him, although that is where the ease stopped. Despite his shoulders and body being ridden of tension in his shoulders and his chest, his emotional apprehension was on the rise. It was hard to miss, almost impossible not to feel the chill exuding from Peter as the pair of you tried to grapple with the shaken pillars of your relationship.
How did you move past this? How did you return to a place before you saw colours and before you found out that two of the avengers were your soulmates? Were your heads in the clouds and your hearts in naivety?
Could there even be a place to come back to? Could the relationship pan out even with the recent event of meeting your soulmates hanging above your head?
âI love you too.â He turned his head and spoke into your hand on his shoulder. He pressed his lips into your palm after youâd opened your hand, giving you the smallest glimmer of affection that was more than enough for the moment. âWeâll make this work.â
The sentiment of the message was sweet and hopeful, yet it felt empty. It felt as if you were going to just be biding time until inevitable set in and broke you apart.
âOf course we will.â Your tight lipped smile and forced positivity had only added to the overcast sense of grim outcomes. âDid you want to go to Stark Tower together?â
The question felt like a buffer, a monotonous event that would bring anymore awkwardness to the already complicated situation. It was an offer to share a ride with the boy youâd loved for the past year, to be in each others presence while not addressing the elephant in the apartment.
âYou start today?â Peter frowned, his eyebrows furrowed.
âFirst day working as medical staff at Stark Tower.â You let go of him and shuffled into the kitchen, dragging your feet toward the fridge. You grabbed the white handle and pulled, bending over to gaze at the contents inside before you decided on a ripe apple and a bottle of fiji water Peter brought home the day before.
After selecting your items and balancing them in your arms, your turned around to talk to Peter only to find the place where he once was, empty now.
âYou see in colour,â Peter called from the living room, beckoning you with his voice.
As you crossed the distance, a smile broke on your face when you saw Peter standing in the living room in his full Spider-Man get up. He was posing for you with the familiar smile you loved most, on his face.
âTell me what colour my suit is.â He placed his hands on his hips, watching you with playful flirtation.
âI can do that,â you walked toward him with renewed pep in your step. You stood in front of him and slid your hands up his chest and onto his shoulders, your eyes wandering the pattern of his suit and the colours that had been brought together to form the impressive technological apparel that had saved Peterâs life more than once.
âThe shoulders are red with black details that make the suit itself look like spiders webs.â You touched and traced the black lines as you spoke, your attention on the way he filled out the spider suit and the feel of his tight muscles been the your hands.
âThere are two blue bands that break up the red on your arms,â you touched the blue against the red, proving your point.
âThereâs more blue?â Peter asked, his hands moving to your hips where he lightly squeezed.
âYes,â you inhaled sharply, your eyes moving down his body toward his lower half, âfrom your waist to the middle of your calves are blue. From the middle of your calves to your feet are red with black detailed lines like the upper half.â
âWeâll make it work,â Peter brushed his thumb across your chin to lift your head, âitâll be okay. Weâll be okay.â
** **
âAre we going to talk about it?â Nat smirked while she was leaning against the bar side of the communal area the Avengers shared. Since the party, and their full ascent into fully coloured vision, Natasha has been on them relentlessly to try and get a peek into their brains.
âThe kid has been dating the girl for a whole year,â Clint spoke from the lounger in the centre of the room, looking back at the two with a similar smirk to Natashaâs.
âAnd sheâs a baby,â Natashaâs grin widened, âreally robbing the cradle arenât you boys?â
âSheâs 20 Nat, almost 21.â Bucky spoke in defence of their situation.
âSheâs not legal enough to drink and sheâs barely legal enough to vote.â Natasha looked Steve up and down, with a raised eyebrow.
âSheâs working here.â Bruce had quipped, looking at the tablet in his hands before he looked up. âSheâs working on the medical floor as a registered nurse. Given your reputation, I think youâll be seeing a lot of her.â
Bruce was speaking of Steve and Buckyâs penchant for getting into trouble where they was none, though the jab couldâve been aimed further toward Steve since the man couldnât run away from a fight.
âWeâre not pursuing anything.â Steve stood his ground and cut the silent accusations short. âThe kid is a relationship with her-â
âIt wonât last long.â Clint cut Steve off, pushing himself to sit up further. âWe all know how the soulmate connection is. Even if youâre on the other side of the world, youâll be drawn together eventually. No matter how hard you try to fight it.â
âSheâs in a relationship, Barton.â Steve unscrewed the cap on a bottle of water and lift it to his lips. âWeâre not going to interfere-â
âIts inevitable. Whether you want to interfere or not, there is a connection that wonât be ignored. They can try to push it off all they want, eventually one of them will break.â
Steve hummed after he swallowed, his eyebrows knit together. He slipped into a space of deep though, a place in his head that pulled his thoughts toward Peggy.
Steve and Bucky were able to see half colour when they recognized each other as soulmates. When Steve met Peggy, he had wished that his vision couldâve shifted to full colour. He wished that he couldâve seen the bright flashes of pigment that was described so heavily by those who had already met their soulmates and in book written exclusively on the topic.
When he didnât see colour, and neither did Peggy, there was a part of Steve that was disappointed. There was a part of him that was almost distraught over not being able to have this woman who was breathtaking and confident, so sure of herself, as his soulmate.
He wanted Peggy.
Bucky wanted him. He had only ever spoke of Steve when he was alive in the 40âs, there was no connection to Peggy other than one of friendship.
âItâs inevitable,â Steve mumbled under his breath, chewing on the words.
Inevitable. Steve and Peggy were never meant for each other.
If fate would inevitably bring two soulmates together, than fate could inevitably separate two people who were never meant for each other.
âEventually the relationship will fail as the connection between the three of you grows.â Bruce glanced from Steve to Bucky. âAnd there will be no turning back.â