20's

if one’s soberer than this, why even bother getting out of bed?

ok but the concept of two wasted intox roommates who think they’re being super sneaky lmaooo like one of them makes conversation by slurring “howsss yur….uh…day?” as they sloppily make their third sandwich this hour and their roommate goes “oh uh….good hic-ORRUP, you?” and the first one barely registers all the empty beer cans on the coffee table in front of them

wish I was day drunk in the sun with someone’s mouth on my tits

if one’s soberer than this, why even bother getting out of bed?

MIL the keeps you wasted for her son. MIL that ensures you're never not *at least* tipsy. You're never without alcohol in one one hand. A glass of wine her, a shot of tequila there. Days, months, years go by. You wake up everyday, no idea when it where you are. You fall over constantly. Injuries bruising, bites, bleeding atmre normal. At some point your mil books a cruise you're sok wasted she has to use a wheelchair to get you on board. Meanwhile you're sitting there, water bottle of tequila in hand. Head rolling back, as noring

gonna start pouring vodka in the little gap I make when I close my fat ass thighs together, so you can use it as a water bowl like the dumb mutt you are.