his other hand finds her opposite thigh. digits twitch restlessly against the warmth before daring to move farther. palms sliding upward, settling carefully on either side of her hips, and keeps them there as she moves. she lifts, and the absence draws a click of david's tongue. another crooked smile breaking free when she sinks back down again, pressing, leaning closer, and suddenly every other sound feels impossibly far away ; muffled behind the cocoon of blonde strands and neon wrapped around them.

tell me what it feels like. violet whispers to him, and his gaze drops, following a loose thread of his hoodie before returning to her face once more. emits a quiet little laugh. ' . . . honestly ? ' he starts, ' like somebody turned the fuckin' volume down. like i can breathe again. ' subconsciously, hands tighten slightly against hips. each time she pulls away, he finds himself following the movement. fuck. word forms silently on his lips, continues to chase the contact before he's even aware of it.

he sighs. audibly. melodramatically. pale fingers tightening around the steering wheel, trying to keep the annoyance at bay. ' sure. whatever. ' silence. bites the inside of his cheek. he can't keep quiet. ' you disappear for, like, a week, ' david snaps, ' no calls. no answer. nobody knows where the fuck you are ─ then you show up at four in the morning wanting to smoke half my pack and tell me some guy with a face tattoo stole your underwear. but i guess i'm the asshole because i don't throw a parade every time you walk back into my life. 'cause that's perfectly reasonable. '

mara isn't like every bitch he's ever met. mara's the girl bleeding from scraped knees and laughing about it. she's the girl asleep against his shoulder in emergency room waiting areas. the girl he's dragged off floors, and the girl who's dragged him off floors. the girl whose fucking number he could dial blind.

a short laugh, sounds more like an airy scoff when it leaves him. even more like being punched in the lungs than anything actually funny right now. david surrenders, however, reaching over to finally yank the volume down a bit. ' mara, you just fuckin' threatened to jump out of my car going, what, sixty ? that's your pitch ? '

now he can finally have a cigarette, safely kept within the pockets of his scrubs. david lets the other go just enough to lean against the wall beside the exit. he needed it more than david did. ' yeah. i kinda gathered that. ' eyes squint over the parking lot with him. he takes the creased package out of his pocket, followed by the small lighter ─ pulls out a cigarette, sticks it betwixt lips and sets it ablaze.

you're not busy, right ? the orderly huffs out a dry laugh, smoke spilling with it. busy. well, what david should do is march his ass back inside, leave the guy baking in the sun until someone with more authority and less to lose dragged him back to bed. that's what a normal person would do.

instead, he pictures the rest of his shift. it was a fucking prison sentence ; changing sick-stained sheets and emptying piss. dodging the nurses eyes. maybe stealing some more pills if he got the nerve. maybe not. maybe just hiding in the locker room feeling his bones itch. or he could just leave. right now. he looks at the other, face pale beneath freckles. mouth tight with pain. he looks like hell. and still he tries to walk off, anyway. what an idiot.