Ch 25 The twelve days leading up to Christmas, there was a certain energy in the castle. It didn't have a name. Perhaps anticipatory grief. One that Belle shared. She'd never spent a single holiday away from her father, and found it awful that he would be alone during the season. She felt it was an impossible ask, to even visit her father and then return. It was unknown how long it would take for her memory of the castle, of the Beast, to disappear before she was able to return. And frankly, she was too afraid of the wolves in the surrounding forest to try.
At night, she could hear them howling. Crying into the night, but never daring to enter the grounds past the gate. The sound made for a number of sleepless nights, some even where she considered journeying into the West Wing to see if Beast were awake. Of course, she never made it past the first landing on the nights she dared to try.
With the master of the castle allowing her to send letters to her father, it wasn't a question of if she'd be allowed to send him a Christmas gift too. They celebrated the season, and the winter solstice, rather than the religious aspects. While the churches in larger cities like Paris found it to be a holy season, Belle and Maurice practiced the tradition of being thankful for what they had, and remembering those they'd lost. Belle's mother, specifically.
Belle's mother loved the holiday. The season of giving. Of lighting a fire and finding the warmth company could bring in such a cold natural season. The house smelling of pine and baked goods, and spending the evenings with her husband and infant daughter crafting ornaments to hang on their tree. A new one each night, until the end of the year.
Even after his wife passed, Maurice couldn't do away with her traditions. He made a point to always continue them, to explain to his daughter the importance of keeping them alive. It was a time so beloved by his wife, that continuing them made him feel closer to her.
He must've felt heartbroken now, being without his wife and now his daughter.
Since the beginning of the month, Belle had made small things of ribbon and fabric. Sure, the castle had no official tree to decorate, but her traditions continued. While Beast was not present at breakfast that particular morning, she took the time to ask Mrs. Potts when the castle tree typically was chosen and set up.
A hush fell over the room.
"We haven't, um... We haven't celebrated Christmas in, well, many years now."
It was as if Belle had somehow insulted everyone in the room with her question.
"I suppose that makes sense." She frowned. "Do you know where the decorations are stored? I'm sure the castle decorator wouldn't mind if I-"
"Belle, dear, I'm afraid you don't understand."
Mrs. Potts didn't look upset- she looked afraid. As if even mentioning the holiday had been a crime.
"It's not that we haven't been able, it's just... His Lordship has forbidden it."
Belle scoffed. Forbidden what? The entire holiday?
"He can't do that." The young woman crossed her arms in protest.
As Mrs. Potts explained, in a very hushed voice, it was a subject to avoid around the Beast altogether. It was as unspoken of as the spell that held them all trapped here. Though she refused to explain why.
"For all of our sakes, please don't press this with him."
Begrudgingly, Belle agreed. If merely suggesting they set up a tree, or arrange some sort of party was going to set him off and endanger his staff, or herself, it must've been for a good reason. Then again, his judgement hadn't always been justified.
If she were going to forgo her cherished holiday, she at least wanted to know why.
------
The young woman stole away to the attic space, where Cogsworth had suggested that decorations for past galas, balls, and other gatherings had been put away in storage. If holiday decor were to be found anywhere, it would be here.
The attic was dusty, and the spiraling stairs that led her to it weren't lit at all. Only the dimming light of day through tiny windows in the stone tower illuminated her way, and as Belle climbed them, she second-guessed her decision to come alone. Perhaps Lumiere would've been useful.
The wooden door creaked open, and the young woman stepped through. It was not unlike the storage space she'd found before, the one with the statue. Though this one had windows and was much more spacious. While the other felt like a secret, this room felt forgotten. Knowing that the castle had come alive, Belle was unsure if anyone, or anything, would be so here. If anyone were to be up here, had they been trapped in the attic this entire time? Did they even know of the stranger who was staying in the castle? "Hello?" Belle asked the air, waiting for a moment in silence to see if she'd hear any voices. Sure, the castle was enchanted. But she hadn't thought of it being legitimately haunted until now. Talking teacups were one thing, ghosts were entirely another.
"I don't mean to scare you. My name is Belle."
Still, no answer. "Cogsworth had mentioned that there might be some holiday decorations up here?" The door to a wooden cabinet creaked open. And while it startled Belle, what was more unsettling was the voice that scoffed from across the room.
"And the castle decorator, you mean?"
Belle looked around for the source of the voice, but saw no one. No woman of porcelain, no men of wax. Only what she could assume was old furniture covered by sheets.
Then, before her eyes, one of the sheets positioned by the window rose taller, and from beneath it, emerged a beautiful woman carved from wood. She was carved and painted to resemble a ballerina, her glittering tutu made of pink tulle and ribbon.
Like a children's toy come to life.
From behind Belle, another figured emerged from beneath a sheet. A life sized nutcracker. The silent guard blocked the door to the stairs and more or less was a threatening presence.
The young woman gasped and held her hand to her heart.
"What does a silly girl like you want to do with holiday decorations? Don't you know what time of year it is?" The ballerina stepped forward. Upon closer look, she had a brass tiara and a delicate pair of fabric-made wings on her back. Of course, she was meant to be the sugarplum fairy.
Belle couldn't help but stare. Not in horror, but in absolute awe. The woman was beautiful. Her dark, wooden skin had been polished to perfection. For as horrible as the curse was, the ballerina surely was given a magnificent form.
"I was hoping to brighten up the castle a bit. Perhaps restore some joy, some hope." The ballerina laughed.
"Have you met The Beast? There is no hope left to be had. You are a fool. He will never allow this!"
Belle uncrossed her arms.
"I wasn't exactly planning on asking for his permission. We can still celebrate, with or without him."
The nutcracker shifted his weight, the floorboards of the attic creaking with every small movement. It was only then that Belle looked around and saw the beginnings of other castle inhabitants, peeking out from their hiding spots. However silent they were, it seemed they were anxious about the possibility of celebration too.
"I was hoping to borrow a few decorations. Some tinsel, garlands, maybe some ornaments for a tree?"
The ballerina crossed her arms in thought. She, like everyone else in the castle, had heard the rumors of a human girl joining them in their misery. And while she'd only seen for herself the few moments Belle and the Beast had spent on the castle grounds, she had to trust that Belle wouldn't risk his highness' wrath without a great purpose.
The girl clearly believed she could pull this off.
"No."
Belle's shoulders sank in disappointment, but her eyes watched the other woman carefully. The ballerina's wooden shoes tapped against the floor as she headed to the attic door, hands on her hips.
"If you're going to do this, you'll need much more than tinsel and a few ornaments."
A smile was quickly spread onto Belle's lips. With the castle decorator on her side, there was absolutely nothing she couldn't accomplish when it came to bringing a bit of holiday cheer to the household.
The ballerina and her team of nutcrackers got straight to work, mostly in secret rather than out in the open. If Beast got word of their plans before anything could be finished, it'd all be for nothing.
Days passed, decorations were acquired and constructed, and an entire feast was planned for Christmas Eve. Belle had even selected a nice enough tree on the grounds, and had persuaded the once-beloved musicians of the house to learn a few carols. They were a bit rusty at first, their instruments out of tune, but with some practice and encouragement, everything was coming together nicely.
Everything was perfect. Except... Belle still felt something was missing.
Her winter shoes tapped gently on each step of the stairs toward the West Wing. She'd prepared what to say, even written it down and read it aloud to herself in the mirror. But her nerves were still in her throat as she knocked on the Beast's bedroom door.
When she entered, he was stood by the encased, enchanted rose. As always, petals teased him constantly. They would fall, but the not knowing of when was always the worst part. A consistent torture. He'd resigned himself to his quarters the past few nights, and planned on staying there through the holiday and into the new year. As Belle approached, he tried to put his anxious thoughts behind him. "I must confess, I find it odd of you to seek me out here. Is there something I can do for you?"
"Yes, actually." Belle straightened her posture. Her hands sat at her side, though she was tempted to wring them together as she spoke.
Beast could practically smell the anxiety on her, and his brow furrowed at her sudden nerves.
"I won't bite. What is it, Belle?"
"I thought, well, that you may do me the favor of joining me for dinner tonight. Well, myself and the house staff."
Beast sighed and looked back to the rose. He opened his mouth to deny her, but she interrupted.
"It is Christmas Eve, you know."
Suddenly, he grew suspicious. "Yes, I am aware."
His tone was firm, but not angry. Not yet.
"I thought it would be nice to get together and share a meal. The dining room is beautifully decorated. We've chosen a log, and at the end of the night, we each will place a hand on it and make a wish! Oh, Beast! You must come and see it!"
Belle reached for his hand, to which he pulled away. "What?"
"Just come with me! You'll see-"
"No! How could you? What- Why have you done this? I thought I made it clear to everyone that there were to be no celebrations of Christmas!"
Belle reached for him again, and Beast fully backed away from her. "It's a wonderful tradition. And is important to me!"
"And it is horrible for me!"
"But why?"
The Beast turned away and shut his eyes in frustration, his hands clenched together.
"Just leave me alone, Belle. Go have your Christmas celebration."
It was clear, he was trying not to lose his temper. But the more she pressed, the harder it was to restrain.
"I want to celebrate with you!" Belle scoffed. To which, Beast scoffed back. "I have nothing to celebrate!"
She stood frozen, taking her hands back. In a moment of silence, she surveyed his posture. He was shrinking himself, pulling away from her. As a monster, he didn't see himself worthy of joy. Of hope. He'd made that very clear from the day they met.
But there was something else. Something about the holiday that he didn't say. Had she overstepped a boundary?
"I'm sorry." Belle spoke softly. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought that it might make you happy."
Beast stood in silence, his arms holding himself for a couple minutes, before he turned and spoke again. The sorrow on his face was plain, and while he was upset that he hadn't been consulted by her, he seemed more sad than angry.
"It's not your fault. The gesture is kind, and well meaning. But... I can't."
Belle cautiously stepped forward. If he wished to be alone, for her to back off, she trusted him to say so. And as she stepped forward, so did he. Pulled apart, then coming back together.
"Will you at least tell me why?" She asked in a gentle voice.
Between them, the table that displayed the enchanted rose stood still. Its cold, glowing state that tempted and teased him with every second of the day. A constant reminder of the atrocities he'd committed, and the future that beckoned him. He would never be free. He would never know love.
And Christmas, a holiday meant to be filled with love and warmth, had been the very day he was cursed to be a monster for the rest of time. Never to feel that warmth again. As he explained this to Belle, how the enchantress had interrupted the castle party and enchanted all within its walls, she lay a soft hand on his forearm. For a moment, he thought he felt the warm spark he'd dreamt of. And from the corner of his eye, he could've sworn he saw the glow of the enchanted rose flicker. Surely, it was a coincidence.
"I never wished to upset you, Beast."
"And I never wished to ruin your party."
She smiled softly. "You haven't."
A stray brush of hair blew in the wind, across Belle's face. And with a gentle swift of his finger, Beast tucked it around the curve of her ear. Her cheeks flushed a bright pink, and she smiled sweetly at him. For a man who saw himself as such a horrible monster, he could be incredibly tender.
What he said next, however, was even more incredibly sweet.
"Shall I accompany you to dinner then?"
Belle asked for clarification, unsure if she'd imagined it.
"Are you sure? I thought-"
"You won't catch me singing any carols, but perhaps its been too long. I'd like to make new memories, if you'd join me."
The young woman beamed and wrapped her arm around his, her other hand gently tucked into his fur.
"I would love nothing more."
