Mind Over Matter

Because ever since I found you

Your eyes, warm and kind

Are now etched into my mind

I cannot write about you

Because from the moment I felt you

Skin beautiful, soft and cool

Any distance is mockingly cruel

I cannot write about you

Because the moment that I do

accept, deny, or curse me

I’ll be lost and at your mercy

And once I start describing it

there simply is no hiding it

I’ll officially be biding my time

Who do you think you are? And what the fuck do you take me for?

A perfect replacement? You don’t know a damn thing about me yet suddenly, I’m yours?

Wait till you find out my politeness is just a mask. Wait till you see the ferocity underneath, in which I bask

I am not your conquest, not a prize for you to claim. You thought you'd found an easy victory— instead, you’ll choke on the weight of your shame 

I still think of you sometimes

It’s quite embarrassing cause

I’m sure that you’re doing fine

I feel your absence when

I want to break down and cry

feel your arms around me

as you pull me in tight

Where did you go?

Were you ever really mine?

Or just a helping hand

throwing me a line?

I see you everywhere

but nobody compares

I want to let you go

Recently hurt, lost, and afraid

I saw you standing over there

Appearing to come to my aid

Though seemingly part of a pair

“Just friends” I hoped to myself

So easy to talk and relate to

Like a rare read on a bookshelf

Perusing veins of each other’s bamboo

I though that you could be it

The other part of my cracked half

It was indeed her that you were with

Meet me under the stars 

under the lights under the moon

Let’s say Thursday? 6ish?

I’ll be getting out of school 

and I hope to god 

that I get to see you soon 

Meet me under the clouds, maybe a park just before dark

I’ll be trying to play it cool 

But only when you’re around

to try to bring me back down to earth 

and it sure feels nice on this glorious Friday night 

Meet me under the heat of the sun on this Saturday

and tell me once more I’m your only one

dance with me like we’re on Broadway to the beat 

of the drumming- that’s my heart racing to catch yours

I’ve never wanted a door to stay open for this long before

Order me a sundae

while you’re sitting right across from me

And actually come over here 

And squeeze in tight right next to me 

It’s Sunday and I’m feeling fine with your kind eyes before me 

You say you want to meet me but it sounds like

the wrong kind of important

the kind that makes me nervous and jittery 

and shortens my breathing 

I thought that we were pretty good but apparently not

 And now the pain in my chest is fire hot

when you say you can’t do this anymore at nearly 4 in the morning

I thought Monday’s were for new beginnings

but as for us it’s the most painful

prolonged