The Ghosts of our Old Loves are Worst

“The primary school became a distinctly firmer prospect as the minutes ticked by.”

- Colin Dexter, The Last Bus to Woodstock

The Doctor (via

fafana20

)

He almost made it. Allllmost. Still learning, bless him

They will grow up completely untrusting with a general sense of sadness and guilt.

Manipulation includes:

- “I just wish [something passive aggressive involving your child]”

- “You do whatever you want to do.” and then getting mad when they make the “wrong” choice

- Not believing them when they tell you something someone did or said to them, including their friends, your friends, family members, or even you

- Doing something shitty and then pretending you didn’t in hopes they’ll forget?

- Getting upset when they open up to you. About anything. Even if it’s something angering or disappointing. Don’t show them it’s dangerous or counterproductive to talk to you.

- Making them feel bad for the friends/significant others they choose, career path (or lack thereof), school choice (or lack thereof), gender/sexuality (or lack thereof) literally anything that either they didn’t choose or that they would be miserable without

- Do NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES pressure them to talk to you about personal things.

Men belong in the kitchen.

Everyone belongs in the kitchen.

Abusive parents can give their kids an allowance, gifts, toys and nice things sometimes.

Abusive parents can seem like parent of the year to outsiders.

Abusive parents can defend their children from outside threats and get them in all the best schools and programs and deal with school bullies.

The person who wrote this would be severely punished and hit for being home even one minute late by the same person who threatened to call the cops on the two girls who bullied them relentlessly.

The person who wrote this was told over an over again by everyone that their mother was ‘incredible’ and ‘awesome’ by every one of their friends growing up despite being denied food to eat.

The person who wrote this got presents on their birthday and on holidays and had an allowance and was threatened with have everything they owned destroyed or have their pets killed on a regular basis by a parent.

The person who wrote this was called ‘stupid’, ‘retarded’, and ‘a useless idiot’ every time they couldn’t understand something by the same person who said they were ‘very smart’ and ‘had potential’.

The person who wrote this did not have an idyllic, sheltered childhood and spent years questioning if having dishes thrown at their head was actually abusive because that same person said ‘I love you’.

The person who wrote this is pretty pissed off that you would tell an abuse survivor that they had an idyllic childhood and assume there was no abuse just because the abuser was really good at making them question whether they were really abused or not, or that somehow saying ‘I love you’ made the abuse go away.

The person who wrote this literally has a personality disorder as a direct result of their parent who sometimes said I love you and got their bully’s in middle school dealt with abusing them.