Behind Her Smile

"Quarantine really is the worst time to be hit with all the pain you've pushed away from feeling."

“I cry for the future we lost But I’ll forever be grateful for the past and memories we have and share. I mourn for what could have been. But I’ll smile for what was. To have been embraced the way I was, held, loved and sheltered… I’ll forever treasure every single moment. We might never see each other ever again but your face, smile, laugh, scent and warmth will forever be an imprint left on my heart.”

I owe it to myself to be consistent.

Had I been enough,

“There are days when I look at you and I don’t see the boy I fell in love with. The boy who used to put in effort just to see me smile, the boy whose day wasn’t complete until he heard about mine, the boy who used to hold my hand because he knew i was scared of the dark, the boy who would write letters to me unexpectedly. I don’t see the boy I fell in love with, just another boy who tells me he loves me.”

“How come I need you more than you need me. How come I have been checking my phone every two minutes and you haven’t even been online in the past two hours. How come I want you to call me and tell me you’re sorry but you don’t even feel remorse. How come every time I try to move on, I see something that makes me cry. How come I am hurting and you’re completely fine. How come I fell in love with you and you didn’t fall in love with me.”