Intercepting...

[A recording of Sideswipe’s voice is sent back.]

:::Does it really matter?::: Sideswipe answered with a careless sort of disinterest. As if this line of thought didn’t absolutely horrify him. :::I mean there are a ton of enemy combatants who we’re actively trying to kill anyways. So…:::

He trailed off. This is the part where he’d shrug, as if he didn’t care while the other filled in the blanks. The implication. That to him the means didn’t matter as long as he got the ideal end he wanted.

As if the edges of his optics weren’t burning. As if his energon wasn’t thundering in his helm. It was a lie. But still a monstrous one… to even pretend that he’d be ok serving any sentient being up to this sort of fate. Something he would often rail against.

And yet-

:::Maybe one of them::: He continued easily, voice level and calm despite the painful knot lodged in his throat. 

:::Although-::: Sideswipe pretended to think and weigh his options. :::-if it doesn’t work out we’ll see. But as long as you get something, be it me or someone else or whatever, we have a deal, yeah?::: Believe him. Believe that he’d be the sort so sell someone out for gain. Believe that it doesn’t matter how, but that you’ll get what you want. 

[Maybe one of them? Disappointing.]

:: I am not interested in ‘maybes’ or ‘whatevers’. You either have a subject or you do not. And it seems you do not.::

::You are wasting my time. Farewell.::

[A recording of Sideswipe’s voice is sent back.]

For half a second, the interest in the other’s voice made Sideswipe tentatively hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, he actually managed to pull this off. Primus knew how.

That hope was promptly obliterated by a request for peer reviewed receipts. 

For a dumbfounded moment Sideswipe said nothing, and instead opted to watch his fragile lie start to crack.  There wasn’t any literature on anything he said. No concrete proof. He had lied because the last thing he had wanted was to give them something usable that would paint a target on real mech’s backs.

And he was an idiot for thinking the other would take him at his word. Hell, he knew on some level he was an idiot for hoping Inquisitor would do the same. Actually give him some in return for any of this. Seconds ticked by in agony, and he knew that if he paused too long it’d be suspicious. Franticly he tried to grasp at some idea to keep this rolling. To keep the other on the line. To give the illusion of a seamless conversation, and to maintain the artifice he had concocted. Otherwise this would have all been for nothing. 

Unfortunately the first idea he managed to latch on to was fucking stupid.

:::Instead of literature, how about a subject?::: 

[So he had been paying attention. Very well, Inquisitor would entertain this conversation for a little while longer. Their ship could only securely hold so many Cybertronians at once. But one or two more subjects? They could handle that.]

::A subject, you say? Please elaborate. I’m quite interested. Are you offering yourself up, or throwing someone else under the bus for your own gain?::

[A recording of Sideswipe’s voice is sent back.]

For a second he struggled on what to do.

You have to. 

This is a mistake.

You have to.

You don’t And then he remembered the point of this all.

Helping. It was to help. That’s what he had convinced himself.

So he began to talk.

And Sideswipe proceeded-

-to bullshit like the wind.

There were kernels of truth in his words. The best lies weren’t complete fabrications. To be convincing there had to be merit. There had to be enough that a cursory glance or search could somewhat support the things he said. 

He wove a tale about omnicombinational capabilities (a real thing but not for them), Kinects, something that sounds close to minicon lynxing but fudged it just so. He talked about bonds and connections, and drew from his experiences as a twin to morph that into something that sounded concrete and extraordinary.

That was the most real thing he could draw from.

But he couldn’t shut up. He kept talking. He talked too much. For a brief moment he dipped into something close to an outlier, and that’s when he finally shut up.

:::So…::: Eventually the adrenaline to just go died out. He paused. :::Is that sufficient? Or do I have to keep going?:::

Please work please work please work please work

they needed a win.

[Inquisitor was quiet as Sideswipe spoke at length. It was all very, very interesting. At least, if any of it was true.]

::Fascinating. Please, send any literature on these subjects that you have; if you do, consider your part of the bargain fulfilled.::

[A recording of Sideswipe’s voice is sent back.]

Oh wow. Hello claustrophobia. 

This was stupid this was stupid this was stupid this was stupid

:::Okay.:::

:::Don’t suppose you want to go first.:::

::By all means--::

[A recording of Sideswipe’s voice is sent back.]

Sideswipe bristled. He hadn’t seen the damage first hand but he heard enough. The fevers, the physiological changes, the exhaustion.

The distress.

:::No. Humans generally don’t grow extra bits.::: and what a monumental struggle it was to keep his tone from becoming caustic.

Maybe biting his glossa and playing nice would give him some scrap that could be used. Maybe his fumbling efforts would amount to something. Anything at all.

Then the other mentioned a proposition, and he latched on to it.

:::A deal you mean?:::

The sudden unease that he was on the precipice of making things worse was summarily shoved down.

:::…If I do how would you get this medical technology to me? What about a back and force. I give a bit, you give a bit? Makes more sense than me risking info dumping for nothing.::::

::We could synthesize the treatment for you, and then send it to an agreed upon location for you or whomever to retrieve. We could send instructions for you to do it yourself. Either of those would be permissible avenues.::

::If you wish to spend time going back and forth, trading off notes like children, that’s your prerogative. But as I said before, I am quite busy and don’t feel compelled to entertain this conversation for much longer.::

[A recording of Sideswipe’s voice is sent back.]

Alright. So destructive capabilities wasn’t something this dude was after. That was actually kind of a relief.  But at the same time made things exponentially harder. He could bullslag his way through faking appealing sounding war technology, but if that was off the table-

Thoughts and ideas rapidly fired through his processor, were considered and just as quickly discarded.

Something unique about their kind… What was unique about their kind? Man it was hard to take a step back and take stock like that when A.) you were evaluating things that were the norm for you and B.) literally making slag up as you went. On what felt like a clock.

Usually when Sideswipe picked out unique quirks it was how other beings differed from them-

Wait. Duh.

:::We can change.::: He replied back casually, a masterclass of fake it til you make.

And from there he piecemealed together scraps of what he knew gestalts were missing  into an answer that hopefully sounded substantive.  Like there was more. :::We can combine and connect to become something new. Something synergistic thats more than the sum of the parts. Gestalts are just one way we can do this.::: he drew out a pause. Teasing out the implied

 'there are other ways.’

Sideswipe almost broke the silence to bolster his pitch so the other would keep talking to him but was beaten to it.

And his cobbled together veneer of being collected was nearly shattered at that question. Confusion was scalded over by an anger that caught him off guard. He sucked in a cool draught of air, held it, and stamped down the impulse to start yelling. That wouldn’t help anyone.:::…Not great. Guess you know about that. Would be kinda nice to know more about that even.:::

[Ah, and that was the sort of nugget Inquisitor had been after. Gestalts were just one way they could make themselves more powerful.]

::Interesting.::

::And yes, the boy, Dennis, wasn’t looking too well when we left him at that temple. A shame.::

[A shame that they’d have to put more labor into reworking that formula if they wished to use it on other humans in the future.]

[A recording of Sideswipe’s voice is sent back.]

:::Wh-:::

Things Sideswipe had been hoping for.

 A response.

Things Sideswipe had not been expecting to get. A response.

But now that he had one he was hit by the stone cold realization that he had absolutely no idea what to do now. That was followed by the sickening awareness that he probably only had one shot to do something useful with this opportunity. And he was already proceeding to waste it by being a flabbergasted, silent idiot over the comms.

Therein lied the problem with being an impulsive entity who acted and reacted on a whim. There wasn’t usually an actual concrete plan in place, just a collection of haphazard improv. Usually a strong emotion was felt, a compulsion would burn through him, and he’d be stubbornly stuck on it until-

well something like this happened.

:::Well yeah::: Sideswipe answered smoothly with all the confidence of a person who wasn’t internally screaming. Like a liar.

:::I have a lot of information actually::: He went on quickly making the shift from pain in the aft to charming as he proceeded to wing it. 

They all needed information.

:::My creators were weapons makers-” and assholes but best to leave that out for, guh, for the greater good “and I have friends who are scientists. Friends who have with military ties. Friends who can do slagging cool things to wreck shop. I have access to probably more information than I should to be honest. That being said, I mean, I can guess what sort of information you’re after but might be easier to narrow it down. Here you can tell me if I’m warmer or colder. Bolstering ranks? Fortifying fighting forces? Am I in the ballpark?:::

Please don’t hang up please don’t hang up please don’t hang up

[Most of what Sideswipe offered was of no interest to them. Weapon makers? Scientists? Soldiers? They had their bases covered on those departments.]

::Cold. Very cold, I’m afraid.::

[It was a gamble to potentially waste time chasing down a lead that might not exist. But transformers were emotional and easily manipulated creatures. They might give up just about anything to save their friends.]

[Time to see how much of that was true.]

::Our interest lies with the more... unique aspects of your kind. Weapons can be made by many creatures, soldier recruited from anywhere. But there are certain abilities that cannot be so easily replicated.::

[A pause to let that sink in for a moment.]

[A recording of Sideswipe’s voice is sent back.]

:::Yes.::: He did. Badly.

Sideswipe wanted to understand why any of this was happening. To discern the missing details from the series of broken messages, odd requests, and corrupted data that lead them to that ill-fated ship months ago.

The ship had been Cybertronian…one who hadn’t even realized what they were as they died…

He wanted to understand the motivation behind the innocuous packages they were sent that detonated EMPs when opened, the abductions of the gestalts they knew, the sickness afflicting their organic friends, the point of any of it.

Not that suffering needed to have a point. Violence and cruelty could very well be senseless as war had taught him. But with how coldly methodical and deliberate things had been executed so far-

There had to be purpose right?

He wanted to understand the link between these seemingly unrelated events and this frustratingly quiet comm signal tied to it all.

Like a mantra in his helm the questions: The ship. The gestalts. The virus-

Inquisitor

He need to know. To solve. To fix. To help. Nine months ago he thought he was clever and helpful solving puzzles, gungho for a rescue and look how that turned out-

No one got helped then, and it didn’t feel like they knew enough to help now.

How terrible it was to feel helpless.

If nothing else he wanted to understand. To make sense of it all. Because he didn’t understand; the person he spoke with on this line hadn’t seemed malicious when they conversed before but Sideswipe could be trusting. And there were liars.

He talked before why wouldn’t he talk now?

:::Seriously. What’s it going to take? Information? That’s what it was before right? When we talked about the ship?:::

[Quite a persistent one, hm? It was almost amusing to see the mech run around and around in circles, trying to chase answers it didn’t have. So desperate to solve this mystery.]

[It was also extremely bothersome to be continually pestered by it. They had work to do and results to send off to their superiors. No time to chitchat with a hated enemy.]

[But, they do like information... maybe this one will have a morsel of something useful before they cut it off for good.]

Ha!

As if that ever stopped Sideswipe before.

pingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingping

[After a few minutes, there is a response.]