✰ — — — BUZZFEED UNSOLVED SENTENCE STARTERS
‘ do you think we’re gonna die here tonight? ’ ‘ it’s horrifying, chilling… just over all not good. ’ ‘ should we just get this over with? ’ ‘ he’s a fucking criminal. ’ ‘ sharing is caring? meh, go fuck yourself. ’ ‘ oh god, um… oh my god, i fucking hate this. ’ ‘ stop banging on the door, you dick. ’ ‘ what. the fuck. is wrong with you. ’ ‘ i gotta be honest, this doesn’t really compel me very much. ’ ‘ that was a joke that i made and then it formed your opinion on it. ’ ‘ flip that switch. do you think that’s the murder switch? ’ ‘ this is embarrassing. this is embarrassing for you, i think. ’ ‘ no one’s ghost-proof. ’ ‘ i’m ghost-proof. ’ ‘ you’re not ghost-proof. you’re just an idiot who refuses to see proof. ’ ‘ i’m ghost-proof, baby! ’ ‘ that sounded like will smith! ’ ‘ is will smith dead? has anyone checked the news?! ’ ‘ the problem is if there’s something that attacks us down here, i’m going to hit my head on the ceiling and my skull will smash. ’ ‘ alright, buddy. keep your wits about ya. ’ ‘ let’s get the fuck out of here. ’ ‘ i kind of just looked into places that would make me wanna die and i think this checks that box. ’ ‘ did i just blind you? good, good, good. it’ll give you the vision. ’ ‘ take a drink! ’ ‘ i’m gonna get you all tanked. ’ ‘ what do you expect? what insight are you trying to gather from here? ’ ‘ maybe the noise is a little snake. can you imagine a little snake wrapped around a little pickaxe with a little hat on? ’ ‘ i’m not trying to do that whole dismissive thing, but… i’m dismissing it. ’ ‘ alright. alright, man. you just gotta chill. ’ ‘ i thought ‘glory hole’ used to mean something very innocuous, though. ’ ‘ it’s where the men fucked the earth hoping to impregnate it with gold. ’ ‘ a bug flew up my nose. ’ ‘ i think i’ve swallowed about six tablespoons of bugs at this point. ’ ‘ it’s so silent aside from the bugs in my ears. ’ ‘ a bat flew right behind you just now. ’ ‘ that bat was straight-up going for your ass… it was an ass bat. ’ ‘ dude, i’m so nervous. ’ ‘ how can you be nervous with a beautiful sunset like that? ’ ‘ there’s some pretty shitty things that have happened to people around here. ’ ‘ can you even look at least a little bit worried? ’ ‘ yeah, i’m fucking nervous, man. i feel like i’m gonna vomit. ’ ‘ we’re all assholes here. ’ ‘ i don’t know why i phrased it ‘lucky for us.’ i think i was feeling brave when i wrote this. ’ ‘ yeah, this isn’t lucky for you at all. ’ ‘ i’m gonna try and avoid saying ‘demon’ as much as i can. ’ ‘ i’m not gonna let you goad me into this, i know what you’re trying to do. ’ ‘ shut up. we’re moving on. ’ ‘ you know what? i’m not trying to scare you, but… i got a bad feeling about this one. ’ ‘ why are you unbuttoning your pants? we’re in public right now. ’ ‘ oh… you’ve out-dumbed yourself. ’ ‘ you know, i thought this was gonna be funny, but now i’m actually happy that i have it. ’ ‘ i’m a whole other coin. just like a chill ass wheat-back penny. ’ ‘ i’m doing it for the betterment of the science. ’ ‘ any demons here? you got any demons out tonight? any horn-y boys or whatever they are. ’ ‘ you may not like this… i’m gonna try to agitate it. ’ ‘ you do what you gotta do and i’ll do what i gotta do. ’ ‘ i’m just gonna be as crude as possible here. ’ ‘ no, no, no. just right out of the gate. why build up? ’ ‘ if you don’t believe then there’s nothing for you to be afraid of, right? ’ ‘ you can be is big of a prick as you want, but i’m staying over here. ’ ‘ if you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to kill me. ’ ‘ nope! don’t loop me into your shit! ’ ‘ stop looping me. i hate when you do this to me in demon places. ’ ‘ i’m not part of his little charade. ’ ‘ children will come here and tell tales about me. ’ ‘ shut the fuck up – i’m gonna murder you. ’ ‘ oh what a load of horse shit. ’ ‘ oh, skip the theatrics and just go into it. ’ ‘ if you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to throw me off. ’ ‘ you gotta admit, that is an effective technique. ’ ‘ no, it’s not an effective technique. it’s a way to get killed. ’ ‘ that’s not how you get them, shut up. ’ ‘ when’s the last time you ever walked into the dark woods? ’ ‘ this is so much scarier than hunting fucking sasquatch. ’ ‘ people usually feel overcome with emotion in here, like a violent emotion. ’ ‘ give me a heads up if you start to feel murderous. i would appreciate that. ’ ‘ by the way, these woods are also scary because of the people that might be in there. ’ ‘ i mean, people are greater threats than demons or ghouls. ’ ‘ i can’t fight, you can’t fight. ’ ‘ you’re like one of those carwash floaty things that are out front just wiggling around. ’ ‘ anyone doing up to no good out here? ’ ‘ one of these times we’re gonna die. ’ ‘ oh shit! there’s something over there. i don’t know what it is, but the bushes are moving. ’ ‘ i just heard a scream. ’ ‘ well, if we just make it seem like we’re in on it, like… we’re here for the cult stuff. ’ ‘ we’re here for the cult stuff. we saw the ad on craigslist. ’ ‘ it feels weird to even joke. i’m so fucking scared right now. ’ ‘ oh sure they’d be hiding in the bushes. they’re cultists. ’ ‘ i keep collecting spiderwebs on my face and now i’m just sort of immune to them. i’m just letting them accumulate. ’ ‘ well, you are just a giant stick walking around. ’ ‘ oh, this looks fun… an odd collection of branches. looks like a witch lair or something. ’ ‘ hello? you can’t be doing occult stuff like this. it’s a weeknight. ’ ‘ dude, wait. you’re fucking crazy. ’ ‘ you need to chill. you need to chill out. ’ ‘ hey man, it’s just a plant. ’ ‘ we kicked goatman off the bridge, it’s ours now. ’ ‘ goatman, are you out here in the woo– well, he’s out here in the woods ‘cause he’s not tending to his bridge. ’ ‘ clearly. that’s why finders keepers and all that. ’ ‘ hey, if there’s cultists out there… i gotta let you know, my pal has a water gun. ’ ‘ i don’t like this, i don’t like this one bit. ’ ‘ we are hearing noise from all sides at this point. it’s very blair witch. ’ ‘ yeah, let’s leave. ’ ‘ the name ‘steve’ doesn’t really strike fear into the heart. ’ ‘ i’ll go along with this. fun gimmick. ’ ‘ well demons, it’s been fun. ’ ‘ as we snuff these candles so too do we snuff you from this mortal world, you fucking wimp. ’ ‘ this bridge is officially mine. they’ll tell legends of me here. ’ ‘ oh god, i feel like i’ve gone to the dark side. ’ ‘ just gloat a little bit. this is a win for you. ’
