stuck in my sleepyhead

Tuesday, July 2nd, 2019

Honestly this

[Instrumental]

—Goldberg’s original entrance music

Tuesday, July 2nd, 2019

I want what I want what I want...

—“Secret Plans” by Eagles of Death Metal

Monday, July 1st, 2019

Not sure, sounds like echoes of songs that I can’t quite identify. Maybe just some strings of melody my mind made up.

Saturday, June 29th, 2019

Infinite silence,

rolling right in with the dawn.

This is wrong...

This is wrong!

And I cannot sleep without the radio....

on....

And how can anyone?

You were in my dreams,

half human, half machine,

you’re with someone else,

that I have felt and seen.

I cannot rest,

or my consciousness contest.

Looking right through the lense,

the winter turns to spring again...

—“In the Morning and Amazing...” by Circa Survive

Saturday, June 29th, 2019

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that's real

—“Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails

Thursday, June 27th, 2019

Welcome to the Universe...

Welcome to the Universe!

[instrumental interlude]

Need you

Dream you

Find you

Taste you

Use you

Scar you

Fuck you

Break you

—the last chorus from “Welcome to the Universe” by 30 Seconds to Mars, which played the first time I woke up from some fucked up dream. The next time I woke from the fucked up continuation of this dream it was to the simple melody played on the guitar from “The Downward Spiral (The Bottom)” by Nine Inch Nails, only instead of being played on a guitar, it sounds like it’s being played on one of those little wooden pianos for toddlers, (which I think might be featured in a dif NIN song from this album but idk which one I can’t be bothered to spend any more time on this). When I finally woke up at my alarm, it was to “Eraser (Polite)” also by NIN. Needless to say I did not have a very restful night and my brain was choosing all the most fucked up songs as the soundtrack to my fucked up dreams.

Wednesday, June 26th, 2019

If there's a past

(past past past)

into

(into into)

the clear,

(the clear the clear the clear...)

we better take the pace,

erase this face,

in constant search for everything!

*

You wait in the pallid slivered sky,

come into the pantheon!

*

Welcome to the Universe...

Welcome to the Universe!

—“Welcome to the Universe” by 30 Seconds to Mars

Wednesday, June 26th, 2019

I'll tell you what I want,

what I really really want

(So tell me what you want,

(what you really really want)

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna,

I wanna really really really wanna zig-a-zig ah...

*

If you wanna be my lover,

you gotta get with my friends;

(Gotta get with my friends)

make it last forever,

friendship never ends!

If you wanna be my lover,

you have got to give;

taking is too easy,

but that's the way it is...

—the end of the first verse, and the chorus from “Wannabe” by Spice Girls

Tuesday, June 25th, 2019

Need you

dream you

find you

taste you

fuck you

use you

scar you

break you...

—“Eraser (Polite) by Nine Inch Nails

Tuesday, June 25th, 2019

I know how to burn with passion,

hold nothing back for future ration.

Give all you are, do not make haste

savour every single taste.

*

You get...

got.

*

I know how to be lost in lust

not because you should, but because you must.

It burns white hot, and so clouds the mind,

this lightening strike isn't always kind...

*

So use me up...

—“No One Loves Me & Neither Do I” by Queens of the Stone Age

Monday, June 24th, 2019

[chanting]

A groan

of tedium escapes me

startling the fearful.

Is this a test?

It has to be,

otherwise I can’t go on.

Draining patience,

drain vitality,

this

paranoid,

paralyzed,

vampire act’s a little old...

But I’m still

right here

giving blood

keeping faith,

but I’m still

right here...

—“Lipan Conjuring” blending into “The Patient” by Tool

Monday, June 24th, 2019

And we stare at the sun

but we never see anything there

just a glare that’s become

all that we ever see there

—I woke up to nothing but then “Stare at the Sun” by Mutemath started playing in my head so here we are

Sunday, June 23rd, 2019

Oh, start saving green

and before breathing

(I have your voice on tape in a southern accent screaming at me)

I was only one and

we weren't prepared for

one before dreaming

(I have your voice on tape in a southern accent screaming at me)

*

Now things look lovely to you...

(Holding back, now and forever)

Sweetheart, things look lovely...

(Longing for midnight and I deny)

You were walking so peculiar like

(Still so deadly)

you had something to hide...

You were walking so peculiar like

(Still so deadly)

you had something to hide, love...

*

Sweet penance for a sound,

it might explode in our hands...

—“Translating the Name” by Saosin

Sunday, June 23rd, 2019

—the instrumental intro to “Left the Room” by P Money (in this song won’t go away)

Saturday, June 22nd, 2019

Take all your overgrown infants away

somewhere,

and build them a home,

a little place of their own...

The Fletcher Memorial

Home for incurable

tyrants of life and limb.

Is there anybody in?

*

They can appear to themselves every day

on closed-circuit TV

to make sure they’re still real!

It’s the only connection

they feel!

—what I believe to be the first and second verse of “The Fletcher Memorial Home” by Pink Floyd