jiji

Pairings: Geum Seongje x Reader

Genre: Romance & Angst

Word Count: 5.1k

Summary: After transferring to Eunjang, u slowly grew close to Seongje and fell for him after mistaking his kindness for something more. When u finally confessed, he rejected u in the worst way possible, yet u still kept chasing him until u reached a point where u had no choice but to let him go.

Almost everyone in the union knows how much you like seongje. And they also know how long you’ve been chasing him..

It all started when you transferred to Eunjang and you became friends with Baku, and thats how you also became part of their circle.

You we’re hanging out with your friends when Seonge appeared, it almost feels like the world stopped. You couldn’t even hear whatever they’re fighting about because you were too focused on seongje.

Eventually you start to see him more often especially when you start to work at the convenience store. He often stay there during midnight, during your shift.

“Your total is ___ “ he just handed you the money and grab the food before walking away.

Everytime it’s your shift, he’s here. And when he’s not here, you find yourself looking for his presence. It’s like your day isn’t complete if you don’t see him.

You and Seongje grew closer eventually, and sometimes you’re having small talks with him when there’s no customer. And you find yourself laughing with him.. You find yourself being happy and comfortable around him, and sometimes you just wanna ask him if he likes you bacuse of his actions.

He even bought you a bracelet and said that it reminds him of you. He even celebrates his birthday with you even if it’s not his usual thing, and sometimes he picks you up from school and you barely spend time with your friends cause you’re always with him.

Your friends doesn’t even know who’s the guy you’re always with, and you couldn’t tell them because you know they would crash the fuck out. You’re aware about the beef between your friends and the Union, but you couldn’t bare to stay away from seongje..

Everything was going great.

Till one night when you decided to confessed your feelings after having the courage to tell him. You thought it would end well, but you were wrong.

He rejected you on the spot.

The best thing he could say is no, but you guessed he likes to play with someone’s feelings.

He laughed and looks at you “Something? you thought we had something? are you fucking kidding me? we’re not some highschool lovers so wake the fuck up” you kept your head down, you couldn’t face him because of the humiliation.

He patted your head “Ya.. I don’t do relationships so don’t get your hopes up” that was the last thing he said before he walked past you.

He didn’t hurt you physically, but you felt your heart shattered the moment those words drop.

But that didn’t stop you, It’s hard to move on from someone who let you get used to their presence. You just don’t get it.. You keep asking yourself, why did he act like that if he doesn’t even like you? Right, you were just assuming things in the first place.

Few days passed and he didn’t showed up at the convenience store, you were even planning to give him the cookies that you baked earlier. You just sighed when your shift ended and he’s still nowhere to be found.

The next day you decided to visit the bowling alley to see him, a box in hand. You walked inside and almost all the eyes there shift towards you.

A guy approached you and asked you “Hey pretty, you lost or what?”

You forced a smile and replied “is seongje here? I’m here to give him something” the guy’s smile immediately dropped when he heard the name.

He left you there standing to call seongje, a minute passed and seongje came out of the room (baekjin’s office), he looked at you and raised his eyebrow.

“what are you doing here?” he asked coldly

you smiled again and walked towards him “I baked some cookies, i thought you might want some” you handed him the box you were holding

He stared at it first before grabbing it. Your smile got wider when he grabbed it.

But your happiness doesnt lasts long when he throw it to the guy next to him. “Next time don’t bake some, I don’t like sweets” Then he walked past you again.

Your head was down and you bit your lower lip, you forced another smile and look at the guy holding the box. “Please enjoy the cookies” that was the last thing u said before u left the bowling alley.

→

It’s your shift again and you were hoping he would show up.

He did..

But he’s not alone.

He’s with the other union boys, he got cigarettes in between his fingers while his arms are wrapped around a girl’s shoulder.

Then his gaze found you, you lowered your head and refused to look. Because you know that the moment you look up again, you might break.

They found their seats and one of the Union boys starts to buy some snacks. You scan the items while still with your head lowered.

The guy furrowed his eyebrow and he stares at you and then his smile widen “ I remember you, you’re seongje’s girlfriend right?” You face starts to turn red and you looked up waving your hand while saying no.

Then seongje and the others including the girl looked at you “Woah.. Seongje got a girlfriend?” you looked at him and you found him staring.

Then the girl spoke “Ya.. You’re such an Idiot, seongje wouldn’t settle for a girl like her” then she start laughing.. Nothing is funny, nothing seems funny.

“is it true seongje? is she your girlfriend?” the girl asked seongje. He chuckled and patted her head “If i have a girlfriend why would I be with you right now?” the girl smiled and wrapped her arms around seongje’s arm.

“Well that means you’re single?” the guy infront of you asked with a grin on his face “I’m dongha btw, the cookies are great” he then left your sight.

You refused to meet Seongje’s gaze the whole time they were inside. Not till he left did you start to look up.

You sighed, he was here now but why does it feels like you don’t even wanna see him? Isn’t this what you wanted? to feel his presence again after a long day of missing it?

→

few days passed and he didn’t show up at the convenience store ever again, you barely see him everywhere unlike before when he’s always there.

You wanted to try one more time, but this time you didn’t bake—you cooked. You remembered when he told you he doesn’t like sweets so you start learning how to cook a dish you saw online.

You thought that maybe seongje might like this one. So you gave everything for that food.

You’re infront of the bowling alley entrance again, thinking twice if you should even go or nah. Then a voice came from behind you.

“What are doing here again?” it was seongje’s

You turn around and smiled at him “I cooked a dish, you said you don’t like sweets so i decided to just cook” you said handing him the container.

“I didn’t asked you to cook for me” he replied coldly. You just smiled and said “Well I insisted”

He scoff and told you to go home “But I wanna see you eat it, or we can eat together!” you walked closer to him

“I also bought some rice, we can eat it together” you wrapped your arms around his.

He yanked your arm “I don’t wanna eat with you” your smile dropped but you still force to give a smile.

“But you know eating is better when you’re with some-“ he cut you off “I don’t fucking care if it feels better to eat with someone. I never asked you to cook in the first place and you expect me to eat this?” he opened the container and flip it downward.

a tear fell from your eye “I’m sorry… I just thought you might want some” you said while lowering your head

“Well I don’t so stop doing shits like this” he was about to walk away when you grabbed his arm.

“Seongje, I like you. I still do. And it never changed even after what you told me that night” he looked back at you again and laughed.

“Stop whatever you’re planning to do” he was about to walk away again and when you grabbed his arm again.

“Then tell me, Seongje. Tell me that you don’t like me. Tell me that you hate me and I’ll stop” You know it would hurt you, but hearing it exactly from him would definitely help you.

“you really wanna hurt yourself that bad huh?” you didn’t let go of his arm.

“Fine, I don’t like you. And i fucking hate it when you do some stupid shits like this. You’re just wasting your time so stop bothering me and don’t ever show your face” That’s it. That was your final straw.

You let go of his hand and lowered your head. You grabbed the container that’s on the floor and put it inside the paper bag again.

You didn’t even spare him a glance and you just walk away. You feel like it’s just a waste of time to even look at him if he doesn’t even wanna meet your gaze.

You were lost and not like lost in place, but in your mind. Then tears start streaming down your face, you tried to wipe it off but It wont stop.

You stared at the paper bag again and you began to cry even more. You feel so stupid. Because why don’t you just get it in the first place? He doesn like you and will never be so stop forcing yourself into his life.

You found a trash bin and you threw the paper bag away, then you look on your wrist. You removed the bracelet and threw it inside the trash bin.

You wanted to erase him. Every bit of memory or things he had on you, you wanted it gone.

→

the next few weeks wasn’t easy for you, you laugh at yourself cause it feels like you were going through a break up.

But you managed. You manage to get up and get away from his ghost. You manage to forget it at least.

You spent more time time with your friends and you even found new hobbies. You didn’t quit your job not because you still wanna see him, But because you think It’s stupid to quit a job and ruin your life just because a guy rejected you.

You just act like nothing happened and go with your day.

Your life is getting better now. No late night cries, no late night vents to your friends about this “unknown” guy, and lastly no more chasing.

You just hoped that he’s also doing the same thing.

But for seongje? His life became more quiet. But it doesn’t get any better. He thinks that maybe it’s because he got used to your noise, he keeps telling himself that it’s normal.. but is it?

→

He visited the convenience store but you weren’t there. He told himself that he’s not there for you, that he’s already in this spot before you even came.

→

Seongje was holding his phone while looking at the story you posted in instragram, it’s a picture of you and Baku with a caption “me and my twin”

He stared at his phone for he doesn’t know how long before putting it back in his pocket.

He doesn’t understand what his feeling right now, he doesn’t understand why his heart aches when he sees you with someone else.

→

You were in the bowling alley with your friends, not to play but to talk to someone. Baku told you and your other friends to wait outside baekjin’s office. He got inside and you were left outside the office with your friends and the other members of union.

No one speaks and no one dares to. The tension between the two sides and the atmosphere became heavy.

Then there he is… you looked beside you and saw Seongje in the stair, he already had his gaze on you so you quickly look away.

You can’t face him, not after what happened.

You lowered your head avoiding an eye contact with him, you didn’t dare to look at him.

Then baku came out of the room and he looks so pissed. He walked towards Seongje and punched him. You stood up and you dont know why, maybe because you’re scared that the union might jump your friends? Or maybe because you’re worried and you can’t see him getting hurt.

Baku was about to throw another punch when Seongje stopped him and his fist landed on Baku’s face. Your other friends also stood up and you ran towards Baku asking him if can he stand up.

Seongje stared at both of you. He scoff when he saw you helping Baku stand up “Are you his mom or what?” It then followed with his laugh.

You stared right at him and was about to speak when Baku cut you off “Is it true Y/N?” You looked at him with a curious face.

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“Is it true that you chased this fucker?” You froze.

It’s like the time stopped and you just wanna ran away or let the ground eat you. “i can explain” he cuts you off again.

“You let that man humiliate you? Why, Y/N?! Why didn’t you tell us” tears starts to escape your eyes.

“Let’s go, Baku” you were about to drag him out when he suddenly ran towards Seongje and throw him another punch.

But Seongje wasn’t any better, he also throw some punch at him. “Don’t ever fucking show your face infront of her” Baku threatened to ruin his face if he ever dared to get near you again.

You ran towards the two and pushed seongje, it didn’t budge him but it made him stop.

Your asked Baku if he’s okay and your other friends also ran towards baku to stop him and calm him down.

Seongje just stared at you while you’re holding baku to stop him from throwing another punch.

He looked away and lowered his head before biting his lower lip. He felt a part of him shattered when he saw you asking baku if he’s okay.

He also wanna be asked if he’s okay. He also want you to worry about him. And maybe that’s the part where he confirmed whatever his feeling right now.

He needs you.

Not in a sexual way but in a way that you’ll be beside him.

That you’ll be in his life…

Again.

→

You’re at a convenience store with your friends helping baku treat his bruise.

“You shouldn’t have acted like that” you scolded him for having a fight with seongje.

You smiled at him “But still.. thank you.”

“Y/N.” He looks at you with those serious eyes.

“What you did is still wrong, you should’ve told us that Seongje was treating you like that.” Your other friends nodded

“I should’ve also throw some punch to that fucker” Gotak added, you just laughed at what they said.

You forced a smile “It’s fine.. Plus it’s my fault too. I forced myself into his life when I knew that he’ll never like me”

“How long did you chase him?” Juntae asked.

“I don’t know maybe after that encounter in the rooftop” they all seemed shocked.

“Woah.. It’s been THAT long?!” Juntae even covered his mouth

“What did you even like about that guy?” Gotak asked before taking a bite from his food.

“Well the rooftop was our first encounter. Then i met him again at the convenience store I worked at. It all started when he keeps coming back at the convenience store, so whenever it’s my shift he’s always there.

We had small talks and he even gave me a bracelet, I was so confused cause I don’t know if he feels the same way… He doesn’t treat me like ‘just a friend’ it felt like we had something.”

Then sieun asked you “what mades you think you guys had something?” That made you stopped.

“He told me he doesn’t celebrate his birthday, but when his birthday came he visited my house and told me that he wanted to celebrate his birthday with me. He even thanked me for being there and that I made him felt like his day was complete.

He let my cry on his shoulder when I was so down.. He picks me up at school everyday, he even told me everything about him, and he also starts opening about his life.

To the point where it feels like I was there when he was struggling. He knows me, and I know him.”

“Do you?” You looked at sieun and gave him a confused look

“It sounds like it was Seongje’s first time having a real friend. He seems lonely for a guy who has lots of people around him.” It made you think, do you really know him?

“Maybe the version that you knew is the version that you liked, you only knew the surface even if he told you the deepest one.” Sieun added

“What do you mean?”

“Well base on what you told us, it sounds like he’s looking for a comfort. Not just in a relationship but friendship. He told you his story maybe because he’s expecting you to understand him and to made him feel like he already has a friend. He trusted you.” Sieun added

Then baku spoke “Seongje doesn’t look like the type of guy to let a person gain his trust that easily”

“Maybe what they had is his way of friendship because he doesn’t know what it feels like to have a real one, and maybe he’s scared to lose his only friend that’s why he treats you like that.

The celebration? What if he just wants to celebrate his birthday with you cause he finally got the chance to celebrate it with someone?

His day feeling complete that you were there? Maybe because he finally felt like he’s not alone.

And when he rejected you? maybe he was disappointed because you treated the frendship that he treasured into something else.”

That made you think, do you really know him? Do you really know seongje? Or… did you ever understand him?

You stood up and looked at them “I need to find him”

“Wait Y/N-“ before they could even finish their word you already sprinted to bowling alley.

You were catching your breath when you got there and the other Union members looks at you, till a guy walked towards you.

You remember him! It’s uhh… Dongha! Yeah Dongha..

“Looking for seongje?” You nodded at him

“He’s not here” you gave him a confused look “then where is he?” You asked

“He was with baekjin at the warehouse” you asked the exact location and dongha helped you to get in there.

“You owe me” you looked at Dongha and just nodded before rushing towards the gate.

You were about to open the door when you heard someone talking inside “did you ever asked me if I’m okay?” That was seongje’s voice..

You were about to leave when the door opened “What are you doing here?” You were about to speak when he cuts me off

“Go home.” He was about to walk away again when you grabbed his arms.

“I’m not here to force you to like me back” that made him stopped.

Tear starts streaming down your face “I’m sorry..” then a sob escaped your mouth.

“I’m sorry for treating our friendship into something else” Then your gaze found his eyes.

“Can we please go back?” He paused and sighed

“Do you wanna know the truth?” You nodded

“I’ll admit I like you too” your mouth slightly parted in shock..

“But before that fuckass feelings I treated you like a real friend, It wasn’t my intention to make you feel that way in the first place because you were my friend and you were special to me. But when I started liking you, I got confused and I don’t know how I’ll express my feelings so I thought what I did was a great idea…”

I was so glad when you told me that you also like me but that doesn’t make everything any better.” You looked at him confused

“What do you mean?”

He lowered his head and left out a soft laugh “Do you even see me? Do you agree to be with someone like me? I might put you in danger and I don’t want something bad to happen to you cause I’ll probably blame myself my whole life for that, so I tried to push you away.”

“All I can give to you is danger…” He added.

You held his hand “You’re more than what you think.” You comforted him.

“Don’t ever degrade yourself. I like you and that will never change, you’re not some plague that I need to ran away from and nothing bad will happen to me if you’re beside me cause your presence doesn’t made me feel scared, it made me feel safe…”

“Seongje….. I like you and I’m not forcing us to rush things, we can get to know each other more. There are many things that we knew about each other, but there’s also many things that we still need to learn.. And we can only learn about it if we’re together.

I’m not saying together as a relationship, but together like being beside each other…. Like what we had before..” he stared at you for a few seconds before smiling

“You really know how to take me back” then he walked in front of you and he laid his head on your shoulder, you let him like that and hugged him.

“I don’t know all the answers but I’m here for you if you needed me” he hugged you back