milk demon

The unhealthy relationship with Qibli

This will get many a fan irate, for Qibli was outwardly nothing but kind, loyal, and supportive of Moonwatcher during the second arc. However, despite this disposition, inside, Qibli was an emotionally destroyed dragon - to the point that even in Moon Rising, he literally thought in ways to make people like him.

Now I feel for Qibli. His mother beat him like a drum for the smallest of mistakes, his siblings tried to kill him repeatedly, and for reasons beyond my total understanding of how this fit into the plot because of how poorly executed it was, his grandfather was hoping to groom him as his criminal successor. None of this is good treatment for anyone, fictional or real. However, because this effectively broke Qibli, he was left desperately craving love and validation for his worth as an individual.

I kid you not, it's confirmed in-universe that Thorn unwittingly earned his entire devotion by simply complementing him. One sentence, said in earnest but without much thought to his background - and Qibli would have done anything to keep gaining such affirmations, which he did.

Furthermore, it's not just Thorn's love he wants.

It's that of the world.

Qibli spends the entire books doing everything in his power to do whatever it takes to get love, or even platonic affection, from the dragons around him. If it means being silly or serious, he'll transform into that type of dragon to get it. Even going to Jade Mountain Academy was done because disobeying Thorn would run the risk of losing her affection, which Qibli is desperate to maintain. And when he meets the pretty, naïve to the world Moonwatcher, who has no life experience and wants to see the good in everyone, he falls for her because of a few reasons: one is that he recognizes she won't hurt him, and another is her natural sweetness is something new to him.

So he observes and trails after her like a lost puppy looking for scraps of love to eat.

This is where it gets unhealthy because Qibli, though well-meaning, begins to see her less as an individual dragon with individual worth, and more like a goddess of perfection that he can't live without. No joke, every two chapters of Darkness of Dragons (and not to mention the snippets of his mind we see in Book 6), Qibli does nothing but pine after Moon while bemoaning how he's practically worthless unless she sees value in him, thereby encouraging him to do anything to earn her love. This makes him put Moon on a pedestal of perfection that is above all worldly things and will make him do anything to keep her in the box he's ascribed to her lest she prove she's not all he believes her to be and thus necessitating his reason for living. And because Moon, due to wanting to believe her father figure Darkstalker is actually good and trying to make the world better, basically asks both her admirers to reject reality as she has in order to not grow up and face the truth: that Darkstalker is evil and must be stopped, no matter how personally painful it is.

And as expected, Qibli chooses pleasing her over doing the right thing in this matter because if he denies Moon this, she will not chose him. And he will lose the perfect goddess he envisions and crawl up and die in the desert because, without her validation, he has no reason to do anything but cease living.

This is unhealthy because it traps Moon in a relationship that keeps her from maturing and learning that evil does exist alongside the good in the world. Couples can be silly at times and have fun, but not to the point of regressing into childishness. This is what happens to Moon, and Qibli will never tell her no for fear of losing his perfect deity.

The healthy relationship with Winter.

Yes, Winter was far from kind to Moon in their first few interactions. He threatened her, yes. He yelled at her, yes. He didn't trust her, yes.

But name a time he raised a talon against her. A time where he viewed himself as nothing without her approval.

Additionally, Winter had good reasons for withholding his trust from her. The amount of times Moon hid things from him, unintentionally blindsiding him with this knowledge when he'd thought she'd just proved to be different from other NightWings - how would you react? Be honest, because if a man hid that he was a mind reader and seer from me throughout our friendship, hid that he was on friendly terms with an ancient bane of my people (and who posed a threat to the whole world), I'd have serious issues with him, too.

Now, Winter was abused similarly to Qibli - however, it was mental and emotional abuse, which forced him to grow up and see how their treatment of him, while "normal" among IceWing extremists, was still wrong. He knew this because his friend Lynx was treated well by her lesser noble house, and he recognized quite quickly that even the "evil NightWings" took as much care with their dragonets as any other mother IceWing would. This made him think, and after seeing how genuinely nice and steadfast in her beliefs Moon was, it allowed Winter to become openminded and grow out of his abuse and the views he'd been forced to swallow.

This is made better by the fact that, while his thoughts often drifted toward Moon, he didn't make her the center of his world, or consider breaking his moral principles just to earn her affection. Because at the penultimate moment of dealing with Darkstalker, yes, Winter is rightly traumatized from having his whole personality rewritten (and likely hurt that Moon is uncharacteristically unbothered by this), but he won't please her with rejecting reality. Doing so would mean making a relationship easier, but Winter isn't thinking just about what they could have.

He's thinking about how many lives would be lost if he did so, and how much danger she will put herself in if he agrees.

And despite having that opportunity - that opportunity to have a relationship with Moon, to finally get his heart's desire to be with her - Winter says, "No. It's wrong, and I can't do that, even if it's what you really want."

Winter will not compromise himself and do the wrong thing for her, nor will he allow her to live with the dangerous misconception that the world is full of rainbows and unicorns, that nothing is ever wrong.

This is why Winter is the genuinely healthy choice for Moonwatcher. He seeks not to please the world, to bend to evil, and he does not manipulate in order to gain love. Because while he does have his own craving for love, Winter recognizes that very few people will actually gift him with it. He makes his peace with that, and chooses good over evil because he'd rather not lose the world than lose love that he can - and has - lived without.

He won't trap Moon in a fantasy, but help her grow into adulthood and recognition of the beauty and ugliness of the world around them.

(Not my art.)

These are my thoughts on which dragon is worthier of Moon. I hoped you liked it, and that it got some of you thinking.