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i think i was having baran withdrawals. this was originally going to be two parts, but i decided i didn't have any patience and made it all one part, enjoy. 🫶🏼🫶🏼
Pairing: Baran Al-Hashimi x fem!reader
Summary: You’re not ready to say those three words out loud to Baran so you default to three little taps. Baran misunderstands the significance and it leads to you two creating some distance between one another. When you get hurt at work and don't reach out, Baran takes it upon herself to try and understand what happened.
Tags/Warnings: fem!reader, nurse!reader, medical inaccuracies, angst, hurt/comfort, trinity santos, dana evans, non-graphic mentions of violence and injury, you and trinity are cousins, misunderstandings, mentions of princess and perlah
Word Count: 7,101
You fell in love with Baran Al-Hashimi the moment you saw her. Part of you hoped it was something that would pass quickly, but you weren’t that lucky.
When she’d strolled into PTMC on her first day carrying bagels you couldn’t help but gravitate towards her and help with the amount of stuff she was carrying.
She smiled at you as you introduced yourself. A tiny part of Baran was grateful that you were not a resident because she felt it too, the pull.
As the shift went on you’d catch her eye every so often and it made your heart flutter. The unfortunate thing was that you wouldn’t know subtlety if it bit you in the ass.
Dana caught on immediately.
“Utah’s calling.” You shook your head as you looked up from your charts. You’d been staring at the computer for the third time in the first hour of your shift not really doing anything.
“What?” Your brain was not at all processing what was happening or what she was saying.
“Human Utah?” Dana tried again and your eyes widened. She smirked at you knowingly and pushed you in the direction of the new attending.
The shift went to hell shortly after that and over the course of the day you’d lost track of Dr. Al-Hashimi, but she was still in the back of your mind.
When the shift ended you were ready to fall asleep while standing as you left the building. You were so out of it you hadn’t realized you’d ended up walking in the same direction as the woman who’d been on your mind.
“Dr. Al-Hashimi?” The older woman turned at the sound of her name and gave you a weak smile. You returned it as your heart beat out of your chest.
She pulled her wired headphones out of her ears and came to a stop as you reached her car.
You were standing so close to her you could feel the heat radiating off of her body in the cooling night. You didn’t mean to be so close, but when she abruptly stopped you nearly crashed into her.
She easily steadied you with her hands on your waist. Neither of you missed the way she was slow to pull away.
Baran really didn’t want to let go. You’d been kind to her all day, slightly flirty which she found herself responding to, and you were an amazing nurse.
Her head was still foggy from the seizures she’d had earlier in the day and when you so freely leaned into her touch it broke something in her.
Someone wanting to be close to her was exactly what she needed. You smiled up at her before it disappeared from your face completely.
She was crying.
Without much thought you pulled her into your arms and held her close. She was rigid for a moment before letting herself be held. Baran’s arms wrapped around your middle like a lifeline. She was completely unable to hide her pain.
Your heart clenched as a few little sobs escaped her lips. You held her tighter and raked your fingertips on her scalp.
You whispered sweet nothings into her hair and it seemed to help. At that moment Baran believed everything was going to be okay because you were holding her in your strong arms.
When Baran was finally able to catch her breath she pulled away and embarrassment instantly seeped in.
“Oh my god, I am so-” she started, but you cut her off.
“Don’t apologize. Today was a terrible day especially for your first day. When I saw you leaving I just wanted to say you did amazing. The Pitt isn’t exactly known for liking change, but I think you’re just what this department needs Dr. Al-Hashimi.”
Baran sighed as her doe eyes bored into yours. You couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous she was with her hair down, perfectly framing her face.
“Baran.” Was all that escaped her lips as she took in every bit of your face. You furrowed your eyebrows in response.
“You just held me while I got your scrubs all snotty. Please, call me Baran.” You bit your lip and nodded at her.
“I’ll hold you any time, Baran.” You couldn’t see her blush, but Baran felt the heat rising on her face.
Just as you were about to walk back to the hospital fireworks began overhead. Your head turned to the sky with a bright smile on your face. You loved seeing all the different colors.
You missed the way Baran flinched at the sudden noise. She wasn’t the biggest fan of fireworks, but as she stood there the sound was drowned out.
She was watching you while you admired the sky. The way your hair was loose after the long shift. How you still had your scrubs on, but they were no longer tucked in. And the way your eyes lit up every time a new color scattered across the sky.
Baran called your name when the show was over and you slowly turned to her. For the second time that night the older woman found herself being vulnerable with a near stranger.
“I shouldn’t be driving tonight.” She stated simply. You could see the quiver in her lip and tilted your head at her for her to continue speaking.
“I have epilepsy.” You nodded and took a step closer to her. Baran reached out to you and you quickly took her hand. Baran’s grip was strong.
“I can give you a ride home.” Baran hesitated, but knew she should take you up on your offer.
…
You stayed with Baran that night, just holding her in your arms and from then on your relationship grew.
You’d been dating for just over three months and everyone at the hospital knew. Some of the nurses and residents liked to tease you, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle.
Throughout the day when Baran would hover you’d smile at her and give her three little taps somewhere on her body, typically her hand. She thought it was a nervous habit at first, but when she learned you were a musician she realized it was more of a comforting stim.
Most times when Baran felt your taps she didn’t mind, but it was slowly driving her crazy. You hadn’t noticed her discomfort because they were much more than musical rhythms to you.
To you, the taps were your silent way of saying the words you’d felt for a long time. You fell easily, but you weren’t sure if Baran was quite ready to catch you. You were scared to say those three words out loud because you didn’t want to scare her off.
You’d done that in the past and you didn’t want to lose Baran in the same way. You knew she was different, but it was hard to not be reminded of your past trauma.
It was something you were working on, but you were only human.
You used the three little taps to say the words for you and that felt like enough for now. Part of you believed Baran felt the same, she showed as much, but you knew this was new for her.
She hadn’t dated since her divorce and she’d only been with one other person. You, however, were no stranger to dating. Granted most of the people you’d dated weren’t serious, but there had been a few who snuck through the cracks, but never stuck.
You felt like Baran would be the one stick, but you didn’t want to jinx it.
Although neither of you said the words there were little things you each did to show you cared. Baran always made you tea in the mornings that you woke up at her house.
She swore it was better than coffee. If you didn’t wake up with her you brought her a cup to work.
She noticed you liked drinking a specific juice after long shifts so she was sure to keep some stocked in her fridge.
She had to double the stash when her son found them because he somehow enjoyed them too. She found them disgusting.
Baran was always cold and wore fluffy clothing around the house. You’d made a habit of “accidentally” leaving your sweaters at her house. It calmed her down on the nights you weren’t there and you found it adorable when you saw her wearing your clothes.
It was little moments that you shared together that meant the world to both of you. You were each other’s calm after the storm.
You’d both been having a particularly difficult day when Baran sought you out. Just being near you made her feel that much better. She hadn’t been having any seizures lately, but the stress of the day had been getting to you.
Before you could see her, you smelled Baran’s perfume and it made you smile. Baran’s hand rested on your shoulder and yours instantly flew to hers and tapped it three times.
You couldn’t see the way Baran rolled her neck trying to relieve some tension, but you heard the groan that escaped her lips.
“I know, I can’t wait to go home either.” Baran looked at you curiously and your eyes widened. You were meant to be going over to her house tonight. It felt like home, but you hadn’t even thought about what you said before it came out of your mouth.
You tried to back pedal, but Baran beat you to it.
“I can’t wait to go home with you either.” Your smile brightened before she was pulled away to another trauma.
…
The next time you tapped Baran she was in the break room grabbing a quick cup of tea. You’d been walking by when you noticed her. You quickly popped into the room and kissed her on the cheek giving her arm three taps.
Seeing her throughout the day made yours that much better.
Baran knew it was you even though you were gone as quick as you’d come and it made her smile, but she couldn’t help the annoyance that lingered.
Baran was torn and she knew her heavy schedule had been adding to her lack of patience.
She was determined to bring it up at some point, just not while you were both at work.
…
The final time you tapped Baran that day was while you were cuddled in bed together. You’d both had a wonderful night together after such a terrible shift. You were laying in her arms, both completely relaxed.
Baran was sleepily playing with your hair. Her brain was finally quiet when she felt three little taps on her hip and suddenly she was completely awake.
You immediately felt her go rigid underneath you. Your mouth went dry and you realized what was causing her discomfort. You tried your hardest not to squirm in her arms. You hoped by not moving she’d drop the entire thing and you’d both be able to sleep.
What you didn’t expect was Baran pulling away from you completely. Suddenly the space of her bed felt like the length of a football field. She was sitting on the edge of her bed wrapped in nothing but her sheet.
You could tell she was tired, but now she was annoyed too and you had a pretty good idea which one was worse.
You waited with baited breath, not sure what to do with yourself. She wasn’t facing you when she finally spoke.
“I need to take a shower.” You moved on the bed to try and talk to her.
“Alone.” Your stomach dropped. You weren't even thinking of joining her in the shower, but the clear boundary made you feel uneasy.
You learned very quickly that Baran loved to shower with you. The intimacy of sharing the small space coupled with the act of things like washing each other's hair was something she enjoyed.
You'd only ever taken one shower without her while she was there and it was the first one you'd ever taken at her house.
It was a conversation she'd broached early on. If you were showering you asked her to join because you knew she liked it, but so did you.
You were so lost in your own mind you hadn't even registered when she'd walked towards the bathroom. You'd barely heard the rest of the words that escaped her mouth.
“And if you could stop the tapping, I'd appreciate it. It's making me uncomfortable.”
Tears silently fell from your face onto the sheets as she closed the bathroom door.
You tried your best to quiet your sobs by muffling them into your pillow.
All that kept replaying in your mind was that you made Baran uncomfortable and that was the last thing you ever wanted to do.
Making her, a woman, uncomfortable felt like the worst thing you could've ever done.
The tears had stopped, but the disappointment settled deeply into your chest.
You knew you were blowing things out of proportion, but it felt like history was repeating itself.
There was something about a three month rule scratching at the back of your mind as you forced yourself to fall asleep before Baran got out of the shower.
Baran had hoped you were awake when she got back so she could talk with you properly. She knew you didn't mean anything by the taps.
She didn't want to take away your comfort and she also knew she hadn’t gone about it the right way either.
She'd been frustrated with the day and let it cloud her judgment. She'd meant to talk to you properly earlier, but one thing led to another and she certainly wasn't complaining about how you two ended the night.
Baran yawned when she got into bed. She tilted her head in your direction when she saw how you'd rolled yourself practically to the edge of the bed.
She pulled you closer, like she always did, and sighed happily. She relished in the warmth you provided. You were a human heater and she was a freezer.
She nestled her nose into the back of your neck and breathed in deeply. In the quiet of the night her heart swelled and she smiled to herself.
“I love you azizam.” Baran whispered before settling into a deep sleep.
…
When Baran woke up that morning you were already gone. She wasn’t sure when you left, but from the coolness of the sheets she could tell it had been a while.
You couldn’t sleep and when you woke up in Baran’s arms you wanted to cry all over again. You carefully peeled away from her and left a note about having to go home and get scrubs.
Baran didn’t work that day, but she wished she did. She wanted to see you and make sure everything was okay.
You were definitely not one to wake up earlier than you needed to.
Baran wanted to text you throughout the day, but she didn’t want to distract you from work either. As the shift went on your heart sank even further into your stomach. You were waiting for Baran’s message, but it never came.
You bit the bullet and reached out, telling her about your day. There wasn’t anything particularly special about the day, but you still wanted to tell her.
Baran got the messages, but she read them without responding immediately. Not because she didn’t want to, but because her son was sick and she had to take care of him.
You, however, didn't know that. When she finally did respond it felt lackluster.
Over the next few days you were on completely opposite schedules until almost two weeks had passed since you’d spent the night at Baran’s house. In that time the knot in your stomach only tightened.
When Baran saw that you were both on the same shift her heartbeat quickened. She’d missed being around you and selfishly she missed working with you. Somehow you were able to anticipate her needs perfectly.
The other nurses were great, but you and her were able to work like a well oiled machine.
You were excited to see her too, but a large part of you was also nervous. The time apart had allowed you to look at yourself in a way you never had before. You were more particular around people.
Never getting too close and making sure you weren’t crossing anyone’s boundaries. You were also a bit quieter around the department, but not enough for anyone to notice.
Well, at least you thought no one had noticed. That could not be said for Trinity Santos.
She was a pro at reading you, mainly because you’d grown up together.
In a family full of boys you and Trinity kept each other sane. You were more than cousins, you were sisters. She was the athlete and you were the musician cheering her on. Along the way you both found yourself in similar professions.
She’d been watching you over the last few days and did not like what she saw. You’d been spending some time at her and Dennis’ apartment, trying not to spiral. She loved having you around, but she was waiting for you to open up.
You were both a bit touchy when it came to relationships, but she knew if she waited it out you’d reach out to her. You both knew you were always there for each other.
That time came when you and Trinity were carpooling to the hospital without Dennis because he didn’t have a shift.
“Baran and I are going to be on the same shift today.” Trinity’s eyebrows furrowed. She couldn’t tell if you were happy about this revelation or not.
“You guys have been on opposite schedules.” She said simply and you nodded in agreement. You were quiet as you clasped your hands in your lap. You’d been trying a lot harder not to fidget as much as you used to.
Trinity noticed. Of course she did. There was always a buzz about you. It had been a family thing. She found calm in exercise and you found calm in making music. It had always been that way.
It was then that she realized you hadn’t been listening to music as often as you used to.
Trinity turned on the radio and was grateful when one of your favorite songs was playing through the speakers. What concerned Trinity more was the way you didn’t tap along to the music.
You wanted to, but you fought the urge.
Trinity was an exit away from the hospital when she decided to pull over on the side of the road. Your head snapped to her and you looked to see if something was wrong with the car.
“Trin, what are you doing? We’re gonna be late!”
“We have time. You always insist on being early and we’re not far.” Trinity turned completely to you and looked at your posture. Rigid.
She raised her eyebrows at you and pursed her lips. You rolled your eyes in response as you looked out the window. Trinity waited. She always did. She knew you’d spill, you couldn’t help it.
You were a talker even if you tried to hide it.
“I’m just nervous. It’s been basically two weeks since I’ve seen her and the last time…” Trinity tensed as your sentence tapered off. If Baran had done something to you she was prepared to kill the attending.
“It’s like we’re just going through the motions. I miss her and I still l- really like her. I’m just not sure she feels the same anymore.” Trinity let out a slow breath.
“What if I’m just delaying the inevitable?” Your voice is barely above a whisper this time. Trinity frowned at you before reaching towards your hands. Your knuckles were practically white from how hard you were trying to keep yourself still.
You both froze when Trinity’s hand reached your own. She carefully pried your hands apart and held them in her own. Soon enough you relaxed and let her hold you.
It was comforting even though you didn’t feel you deserved it. Trinity waited for you to meet her eyes before speaking.
“Baran is not like the people of your past and I know you know that. You have to give her a chance and let her in completely. I don’t know what happened and frankly it’s not my business, but I do know you. And some part of you is purposefully avoiding her so you don’t get hurt. But, newsflash, you’re just the one hurting yourself instead.”
You hated when Trinity gave you advice because she was always right. You huffed in her direction, but nodded along.
“I hate you.” You playfully whispered as Trinity put her seatbelt back on and drove.
“I hate you too.” She responded.
When you walked into the department it was already bustling. Apparently night shift had not been so quiet and it bled into dayshift.
You walked over to the nurse’s station and saw Dana waiting with orders on the tip of her tongue. Before she could get anything out she pointed to the side of the desk. You immediately recognized your favorite drink from the coffee shop down the street.
Baran.
You couldn’t see where she was, but a small smile played on your lips. Maybe everything was going to be okay.
…
Oh how wrong you were. You’d been on your last nerve the entire shift. Normally you loved working with the patients, but not today. Everyone thought they knew better and everyone’s patience was running thin.
One patient refused to eat and for some reason only Perlah could get through to them. Of course this happened only after you had to clean the entire room, especially the bed, from all the food smushed everywhere.
One parent would not shut up. And it wasn’t like they were asking questions, those were warranted. But they would not stop arguing with their kid and it made you want to pull your hair out.
The final patient, an older man, was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He came in needing a few stitches on his forearm, but would not let you help. He insisted on needing a doctor because they were more experienced.
You’d been in the middle of trying to talk him down when Baran walked by.
“Hello, is there anything I can do?” He looked at her hospital tag and immediately perked up.
“Finally, a doctor. This kid doesn’t know what she’s doing.” He wailed on for a few seconds before Baran had enough.
“Sir, I can assure you her suturing technique is flawless. Now, I’d be more than happy to help, however, considering she sutures multiple times a day and I can’t remember the last time I’ve done a mattress stitch I’ll let you be the judge on who you’d rather fix your wound.”
The man immediately shut up as a pout spread on his face. Baran nodded with a smile on her own face as she left the room. You were able to stitch him up in a few minutes and he thankfully stopped talking.
When you left the room you wanted to thank Baran and found that she was already waiting for you.
“Thank you for that.” You walked over to Baran and wanted to give her a hug, but opted to stand a professional distance away. Baran looked up from her iPad and smiled.
“You’re welcome. Next time try walking away then returning to the patient with someone else. It could help with your own irritability. Dr. Mohan is great with geriatric patients, try finding her.” You deflated as you watched Baran walk away.
You had no idea what the hell that was. First she was praising you and now she was reprimanding you for your bedside manner? She technically wasn’t even your boss.
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a minute before opening them to see Dana standing right in front of you. You startled when you saw her, but she just chuckled.
“Everyone’s on edge kid, don’t let it get to you.” You nodded knowingly as you pushed away the negative thoughts and continued the day. You knew Baran didn’t mean anything by the criticism.
The rest of the shift wasn’t too terrible until a dad came in with his two sons. It was clear that none of them wanted to be there, but the oldest of the two had a broken wrist. He was ten years old and very sweet even though he was hurt.
The youngest was crying nonstop, clearly needing a nap and the father was frazzled trying to advocate for his hurt son.
Princess and Perlah were giving the older boy a work up when they called you into the room. You’d been on the way to change your scrubs as a baby had thrown up on you, but stopped when they called.
“Can you check the boy? His name is TJ.” The dad was frantically trying to calm the three year old with no luck.
You knew you weren’t going to get out of helping so you carefully rolled up your scrub top and put it on the floor before carefully taking TJ into your arms. He wasn’t injured, which was good, but he definitely needed a nap and didn’t understand what was going on.
You held the boy comfortably to your chest and he immediately relaxed.
“Thank you so much.” The dad said to you and you nodded. You were rubbing TJ’s back when someone stormed into the room.
As you turned to face the door you heard a woman practically screaming in your ear. Before you knew what was happening you felt TJ being ripped out of your arms as a fist collided with your face.
As your body hit the floor you coughed up a bit of blood. You were trying to get your bearings when you looked up and saw Dana coming in and commanding the scene.
You understood then that TJ’s mother had been the one to punch you not realizing you were a nurse. Clearly there was some family drama with that one.
It was quiet when you felt yourself being helped up by Dana. She cringed when she saw your face and led you to a quiet room.
You didn’t even have it in you to fight. You were exhausted and your head was now pounding.
“Jesus kid, I said don’t let the day get to you.” Dana joked as she cleaned up your face.
“What can I say, I just can’t help myself.” You could feel the bruise forming on your face and it was definitely tender to the touch. It was going to be a terrible bruise and you knew it.
“Gotta get Al-Hashimi in here to do a full work up.” Dana says simply. Your shoulders sagged. Before you could respond to the older woman Trinity flew through the door.
“What the hell happened? Is she okay?” Dana nodded as Trinity caught her breath. She’d clearly run from wherever she was in the department to be by your side.
“As far as I can tell she's going to be okay, but we’re definitely going to get a head CT just to be safe.” Trinity was already moving to sign the order before going to your side and checking you herself.
Your face definitely looked worse than it was but the swelling was not a good sign.
“What’s that face for?” You asked, looking between Trinity and Dana.
“There’s some fluid behind your eye and we’re going to have to drain it.” You cringed at the thought. As much as you dealt with needles during the day you absolutely hated them anywhere near you.
“Hey, it’s gonna be okay. I can go get-” Trinity started, but you cut her off.
“No, I’ll be fine. Just do whatever you have to do.” Dana prepped what Trinity needed before going to your opposite side and holding your hand.
You were grateful to her for being there. You wouldn’t have asked for comfort, but having someone hold your hand did make you feel better.
You closed your eyes as Trinity pulled out the needle from its packaging because you knew you’d freak out if you saw it. Within a few minutes she was done and Dana patted your hand with her other one.
“You did good kid.” You gave her a tight smile as you carefully pulled your hand away and threaded your fingers together in your lap. Dana left the room to get you a wheeled chair so that she could take you up to imaging and Trinity finally sat down.
“You scared the shit out of me you bitch.” Trinity breathed. You just smiled at her.
“I’m glad I could make your day a little interesting.” She rolled her eyes at you, but she was smiling. Dana returned quickly and Trinity helped you into the chair.
You knew you could walk, but you also knew it would make her feel better to help you so you let her.
Imaging went fine and by the time you got back to your room it was empty. The lights were a bit bright so Dana turned them off as she left you alone.
You had all of five minutes of peace and quiet before you heard frantic footsteps walking into the room. You didn’t even need to open your eyes to know who it was.
“Why didn’t anyone come get me?” You shifted in the bed as you sat up and the lights were turned back on. You squinted at the brightness, but didn’t ask for her to turn the lights back off.
As Baran got closer you clasped your hands in your lap and looked at her nervously. Her hand stilled on her penlight when she saw the look on your face. You weren’t nervous because of the injury.
You were nervous because of her. Baran took a deep breath to try and center herself.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have freaked out. Dana asked me to check on you as an attending. It would personally make me feel better to know you’re okay, but if you don’t want me to be the one to check that’s okay too. I can get someone else.” You sighed as you looked down at your hands.
“It’s okay.” You whispered and Baran tentatively walked towards you. She could feel how tense you were under her touch and it broke her heart. When she was satisfied that you were okay given the circumstances she pulled away softly and rolled a chair over to sit by your side.
“Azizam, what’s wrong?” The pet name knocked the wind out of you. You swallowed harshly as you willed yourself not to cry. This was not the time to have a breakdown.
You bit the inside of your cheek as you opened your mouth slightly to talk then closed it. You didn’t even know where to begin. Your body was aching but so was your heart.
Baran looked at your hands again before laying her hands palm up on the bed for you to take, an open invitation.
Your heart lurched and your fingers twitched, but you didn’t immediately hold her hand like you would’ve just a few weeks ago.
Baran tried to hide the sadness on her face, but you could see it and it made you sick. You’d disappointed her again. Baran carefully pulled her hands away, but they were still within reach.
“I won't force my touch on you, but I miss you. I miss when you'd reach for me. It feels like you're pulling away and I can't quite figure out what has changed. Please tell me what's going on.” Her pleading felt like another punch to the gut.
There was still that pull, urging you to tell her what happened. More than anything you wanted to tell her how you felt, but you were still scared.
Your hand shakily reached out to her before Dana’s head popping into the room startled your hands back together. Baran huffed as she turned to the door.
“GSW, two minutes out.” Baran nodded as she pursed her lips before turning back to you. You were back in your shell and it made her whole body ache.
She’d been so distracted over the last two weeks with her son and just trying to get through the days that she had let herself lose track of you. She thought it was just being on opposite schedules, but she’d missed something big and she was kicking herself because of it.
She pushed up from the chair and instinctively moved to kiss your forehead before pulling away to find your eyes. You stared up at her with a soft glint in your own eyes.
“Can I?” Her voice was barely above a whisper and it made you shiver.
“Please.” You practically begged. You missed her too. She placed a gentle kiss on your temple before leaving after promising to come back when she got a chance.
You saw Baran and Trinity have a conversation just outside of your room before the younger woman walked in carrying your things. She turned off the lights on her way in.
“Your imaging looks good, but you’re going home for today and tomorrow. Dana’s orders and no driving.” You pouted lightly, but didn’t disagree. You could use the time to rest if nothing else.
“You’re welcome to come back to my apartment with me, but Baran looked pretty shaken up on her way out.” You clenched your jaw which hurt more than you intended. Some part of you forgot you’d actually gotten punched by a patient’s mother.
“No, I still need to talk to her. I’ll wait until the shift is over, but I’ll go to an on-call room because I don’t want to take up a bed.” Trinity nodded as she left you with your things.
It felt good to be back in your own clothes and not half scrubs. You were also grateful to be laying down. You sat down and before you knew it you were out like a light.
You hadn’t slept incredibly well the night before and the stress of the day had really taken its toll.
You were still lightly snoring an hour and a half later when Baran found you in the room with the help of Trinity’s direction.
Her lips twitched at the sight of you. You looked adorably peaceful. She held her breath for a moment when she didn’t see you breathing. She called your name, but when you didn’t respond she ran to your side, but instantly stilled when your chest finally moved.
She swore under her breath in Farsi as she carefully took a deep breath. You stirred in your sleep and opened your eyes sleepily. You moved to rub your eyes, but Baran caught your hand.
You furrowed your eyebrows before remembering your face was bruised.
“Thank you.” You mumbled as you sat up and stretched. Baran stood in front of you, shifting on the balls of her feet.
“Can we talk about whatever’s going on at home?” You nodded as you stood up and grabbed your bag. Baran’s eyes softened at the dazed look on your face. She wanted to reach out and hold your hand, but didn’t want to spook you.
“I miss you too.” You said suddenly. Baran turned back to you with a dopey smile on her face. She tentatively reached her hand out in your direction and you took it gently. Baran brushed her thumbs over your knuckles.
You both sighed at the contact.
The drive back to Baran’s house was comfortably silent and on the way she picked up food for the both of you.
“Isn’t it your day to have Kian?” You questioned as you walked into the living room.
“Yeah, but I asked Mark if he could stay an extra day or two because I wanted to be with you.” Your heart melted at that as Baran served the both of you food. Your stomach grumbled as the delicious smell filled the room.
Baran smiled to herself as the two of you ate. You happily took a second portion before putting your plate on the table in front of you.
Baran had finished her food before you, but she was pleased to see you eating. It seemed like you hadn’t had a good meal in weeks which she was starting to realize was partially her fault.
Food was definitely one of her love languages and seeing you eat relaxed something in her. After a few minutes you moved to wash the dishes.
“You don’t have to do that.” Baran stated simply as she followed you to the kitchen to put away the leftovers.
“I know, but I want to.” Baran watched you for a second before deciding she wasn’t going to let whatever was happening affect how she’d normally act.
She carefully wrapped her arms around your waist and held you while you did the dishes. Your hand stuttered, but your body instantly relaxed in hers. You really did miss having her close to you.
When you finished the dishes you turned around in her arms and laid your head on her shoulder.
Baran held you tighter as she ran her hand up and down your back soothingly. She kissed your temple as you pulled away, but you didn’t go far. You felt the urge to tap her, but bit your lip hard instead.
“Hey, don’t hurt my girl.” She whispered as she brushed her thumb on your lip. You blushed and looked away. Baran kept her arms around you as she led you back to the couch.
She sat down first and you easily went with her, sitting in her lap. You enjoyed being this close to her, but something within you still made you clasp your hands in your own lap.
Baran pouted at the motion, but didn’t question you right away.
“You know when I tap you?” Baran nodded. That was another thing Baran had noticed. You hadn’t tapped her all day. She never thought she’d miss feeling those taps, but she did.
It was then that the memory of that night came flooding back to her. She’d told you to stop and you did, but at what cost?
“I’m not just absentmindedly tapping you. It means something to me.” Baran furrowed her brows, but nodded. Her heart raced. She’d never thought of it that way. She was so overstimulated that day it didn’t even occur to her to think of it from your perspective.
She’d been doing a lot of staying in her own head which clearly wasn’t that much different from you. She hadn’t meant to snap at you, but as she replayed her words in her mind she cringed.
“I said you were making me uncomfortable.” Baran repeated in horror. You squirmed in her lap as tears prickled in your eyes. You bit the inside of your cheek and tried to calm down.
“Azizam, it was late and I meant to talk to you about it at a different time, but I did not act well in that situation. I’m sorry. I wanted to reach out the next day then Kian was sick and along the way I got sidetracked and I shouldn’t have. I think the overstimulation of the day is what made the taps such a big deal for me. What do they mean?”
You bit your lip again, letting her apology sink in. You weren’t sure the taps were the only thing you needed to talk about anymore.
“Baran it’s not just the taps, but also hearing you say I make you uncomfortable, regardless of how you meant it really stung.” You carefully climbed out of her lap and sat criss-crossed facing her.
She instantly missed the contact.
“I’ve been trying so hard not to be fidgety or repeat the same actions, but I feel like I’m driving myself a little crazy. As it turns out I move a lot more than I thought.” You laughed hollowly.
Baran scratched at the inside of her forearm and nodded as you spoke. She didn’t want to interrupt you.
“I’m just worried that maybe I’m not what you’re looking for because I’ve been down this road before and the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable by just being myself.” Baran’s eyes widened as tears fell down her cheeks. She quickly swiped at her face.
“And I’m not saying this to burden you or downplay my actions if you feel they're wrong and they hurt you, but I’m just trying to let you into my head. I know it’s pretty fucked up in there though.” You sighed.
Trinity had been right, it did feel good to let Baran in no matter what was going to happen. Somehow you felt ready to have this conversation. Maybe it was the space or getting punched, but something was shifting.
Baran turned to you as much as she could as she spoke.
“You will never be a burden to me.” The conviction in Baran’s voice made you shiver.
“I, fuck-.” She took a deep breath and took your hands into yours. Somewhere along the way you were no longer clasping them in front of you, but they’d been resting on your knees.
“I messed up and I am so fucking sorry, but you, you are everything to me joonam. And I’ve been yours since the moment you smiled at me and stopped me from dropping the bagels on my first day. I’ve loved you from that first minute and I don’t ever plan to stop.”
Your mouth fell open as fresh tears fell down your cheeks.
“You what?” You breathed. It was the softest Baran had ever heard you. She could tell you needed her to say it plainly and was more than happy to do so for you. It felt amazing to finally get it off her chest.
“I love you.” Baran said it like it was a known fact, which made your heart swell.
Baran felt three little taps on the top of her hand and her eyes widened as everything finally clicked for her.
A watery laugh escaped her lips as she pulled you into a fierce kiss. The kisses didn’t stop as she pushed you back onto the couch, laying down, so she could hold you close to her.
“I love you.” You confidently said in between her kisses.
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synopsisyou and Trinity decide you've had enough of being the casual booty call, agreeing to play hard to get to prove to your partners you can go without them. easier said then done
warningsmut. oral (f! receiving) fingering, language, pinv, unprotected sex, MDNI. slight praise kink. no use of y/n
authornotethe way in which i need to be driven mad by this man using me is concerning to feminism
main masterlist. other Robby fic
“I don't get it!” said Santos for... well, you had no idea how many times she'd repeated herself but you were considering making it a drinking game. Every time she said she 'didn't understand' you resolved to take a shot. “I thought we were fine, doing great and casual- what- what is casual?”
Whitaker's hand hesitated in the air like they were in class. “Well I think by casual she means-”
“I know what casual means, Fuckle-berry,” said Santos quickly. “But it was casual now it's just weird.”
You nodded along, humming.
She groaned, hands running through her hair in frustration. “I don't get it!”
You took a long gulp of your wine.
“How do you handle it?” Trinity asked, arms wide in question at you.
“Me?”
“Yeah, how do you and Robby do casual?”
“Oh- we... it's- um-” you stumbled over your words, hoping that if you let it up long enough she'd take it back and start on her problems again. She didn't and she stood in front of you and Whitaker, waiting for an explanation.
The whole thing between you and Robby had started about the same time Santos and Garcia started. In an awkward confrontation that was you and Trinity bumping into each other in your shared bathroom, both your hairs messed up and both supporting bruises suspiciously in the shape of lips on your necks.
When you returned to your room you and Robby waited eagerly to see who would flee Santos's room. Neither too shocked to find Garcia.
“It's um?” Trinity asked.
“It's going,” you said into your wine glass, finishing it and pouring in more. The truth was for a while things had been odd, on your end more so.
Casual was a label you thought you could do, that when Robby said to you a week after sleeping together, his sheets over the both of your bodies that he liked keeping it simple. Sex. Release. You thought you could do it.
Almost three months since then and you were regretting it because every time you saw doctors eyes lingering over Robby, every time you heard his 'seven-week rule' and every time you saw happy couples fawning over each other in the ED your stomach twisted.
You didn't realise you wanted that until it was dangled in front of you and snatched away all in the same minute.
Trinity's brows rose. “Oh?”
You looked to where Whitaker was next to you, hoping for sympathy. You only found curious eyes. “It's just different than before.”
“Different how?” asked Dennis.
“Is it still casual?”
You scoffed, mumbling under your breath. “Yeah to him.”
“You want to be more?”
You didn't know if she was accusing but your room-mates expecting eyes on you heated your body in shame and embarrassment. “And you don't with Garcia?"
“Ok, enough!” suddenly Whitaker stood up. “The two of you, we need to sort this out.”
With a vacant seat next to you Trinity plopped herself down and you gave her your wine. You just decided to take the bottle.
“I cannot stand it anymore, okay! The two of you, we're gonna change this,” he said. “Trin- no more pining and waiting for Garcia to call at like one am.”
She was wanting to retort but only folded her arms over her chest as he carried on.
“And you-” he focused on you. “Need to stop crying over Robby. You guys can do better.”
“Yeah in a world where we're not working twelve hour shifts five days a week,” you said. The idea of casual hook ups wasn't anything new to the ED, not even the hospital. It was easy way of escape without the pressure of dating when all their time was spent saving lives or charting about saving lives or studying how to save lives.
On the coffee table in front of you Trinity's phone pinged and she reached for it like it was seconds away from self-destructing.
She tucked her phone into her chest to read the text before slamming it back down.
You caught a glance at the words and the contact. Can't make it tonight, I'll hit you up tomorrow- G
“You're gonna leave them,” he said.
You and Trinity sat up. “What?”
“No!”
There was a flicker of fear in his eyes.
“Okay- I take it back,” he said, surrendering. “Then how about give them a taste of their own medicine.”
“Their medicine?” you asked.
Whitaker gently nudged the empty glasses and cans of beer aside, perching on the edge of the coffee table, appealing to the two of you. “How many times have they cancelled plans, or said you couldn't come over to ask you to come over two hours later?”
You hadn't realised how perceptive he was.
“Now, make it so you guys call the shots. They want to come round, you say no.”
The idea was new to you. You'd always wanted Robby. You spent half your spare time wanting him and the other half having sex with him. You'd never even wanted to say no.
“So then we what, don't have sex?” asked Santos.
“You will,” he said. “You create distance, get them wanting and crying or what-whatever and then they'll realise they've messed up.”
You thought we was giving them too much credit.
Santos chuckled. “Huckleberry, are you telling us to play hard to get?”
He thought about it, eyes moving as if he was calculating it. “Yes!”
That's how plan 'hard to get' started. It was agreed you and Santos, the next time Garcia and Robby asked you to come over you'd say no.
Easier in practise when you work with them.
The next day was a slower day, un-usual in that sense. It meant everyone had more time to linger around each other.
“And so I said to him- officer-” said Myrna, lying on the bed between you and Robby. She'd seizure, hurt her leg and needed it disinfected and cleaned- not for the first time in her life. There was a mix of glass and gravel that needed plucking out and apparently the attending of the ED had nothing better to do that join you in the task. “What would you have done if you caught your third husband eating out another woman?”
“And did he say shoot him?” asked Robby. He was bent over the same leg as you, your heads so close you were either gonna head butt or kiss. Not likely over the state of her leg.
“No, he didn't say anything, he just arrested me!”
Robby hummed, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. “Imagine that.”
“You know Myrna sometimes I can't tell if all these stories are true,” you said, taking a small bit of glass and adding it to the pile you'd already created.
“Oh they're all true, honey, I never lie. Unlike Mark that two faced bastard.”
“Which one was Mark?” you asked.
“The fourth husband. Good body and shit everything else!” she said with a wheeze. Abruptly she grabbed your hand. “Are you single?”
Robby glanced up at you, creases of amusement at the corner of his eyes.
You looked away first. “Why, you asking me out?”
“If you're single, stay single!” she said. “Men, all they are are liars! Lying bastards! And babies! I hardly even shot the guy!”
“Am I so bad, Doctor?” asked Robby looking over the frames of his glasses at you.
Was he so bad? No. He was short-tempered sometimes, moody, didn't accept help from anyone. But you knew he could be gentle, you knew his true belly laugh and the smile he gave at mornings when you were still in bed. You just wish you knew if he ever saw himself staying in that bed a little longer, if he ever wanted to make breakfast and take the day together, stealing moments throughout.
“No,” you said, looking back down to her leg that was almost clean. “You're not.”
Myrna was oddly silent but you could see her head moving between the two of you. “Don't go there sweetheart,” she said, a word of warning. “This one might look fun but he's all danger and heartbreak.”
“Me? No,” said Robby with an air of un-care. “I'm a teddy bear.”
Five minutes later you and Robby were instructing Perlah wrapping her leg before throwing off your gloves and leaving her to it.
“How many husbands you think Myrna had?” he asked.
“Oh there's no telling,” you replied, fetching her chart to finish off the notes. At some point someone had put a star next to her name, as if she was VIP.
Robby leant next to you, scanning around the ED. “Any plans tonight?”
“On a Wednesday? Nop.”
“Wanna come over?”
There was an abrupt and loud clear of a throat.
You hadn't realised Whitaker was there but he was watching the two of you, closely. When you met his eyes he gave a small subtle shake of his head.
Robby looked. “You got a cough, Whitaker?”
He cleared his throat, sliding down in his chair. “No.”
The agreement. It was all fine in practise but how were you supposed to say no when you just said you had no plans and you really wanted to have sex with him! It was the glasses, you were sure that was what did it. The way he pulled them on and pulled them off, the focus it gave him and the way they slipped down his nose.
“So, tonight?” he asked again, voice low.
Only a few people knew, like your room-mates and you were sure others had guessed. Robby wanted to keep it private. Or a secret, you'd never asked for clarification.
You caught Whitakers gaze on yours, watchful. He didn't say anything but you wondered if he'd be disappointed. Would you even be disappointed in yourself? “I can't tonight.”
“Oh,” he said, nodding. “Okay.”
He didn't sound annoyed. He didn't sound anything. It was impossible to tell.
“Yeah, we just- there's this thing-”
“Thought you had no plans?” he asked, an almost amused rise in his brows.
Ah. “It's like- not a plan- just a- a room mate thing. You know?”
Robby looked to Whitaker as if to confirm.
He nodded. “Yeah! Every Wednesday. We watch films.”
“Films,” you confirm.
“And talk.”
“We talk.”
Robby nodded. “Sounds thrilling.”
“Robby!” Dana called. “Got a trauma, woman in her thirties. Five minutes.”
“Got it," he said but he was still slumping over the counter. He took his time moving, stretching up till his shirt rode up enough to expose that slither of skin that held so many promises. “Some other time then.” His hand ghosted the small of your back before he disappeared.
You watched him go, realising you wouldn't spend the night buried in his bored but sleepless and restless.
Whitaker replaced Robby at your side. “See? Doesn't that feel good?”
You answered truthfully. “No.”
That night you, Santos and Whitaker sulked on the sofa, face masks over your faces with a bowl of popcorn left on the table and a shitty movie filling the silence.
Your phone lay face up with nothing from Robby and from Trinity's expression you figured she'd had nothing either.
You'd been to the bathroom once, took your phone with you and debated texting him but you never got that far. You only flicked through texts, casual one's at first. Small 'Are you coming over?' or 'You left your shirt at mine.' There were some dotted from him, on times you were both too busy to meet where things got more... riskier. His texts started simple but you could always catch on to his wants, leading his want.
Things like 'Thought about you today,' or 'you looked good today,' but he never just complimented you for the sake of it.
The texts didn't help so you turned your phone off and re-joined the two all the while your head and heart were in bed with Robby.
The next day passed like another dry spell.
It was busy- too make up for the quiet day beforehand. You didn't have time to greet Robby before being thrown into the chaos from a pile up on the highway. All day your bodies shuffled past each other, his hands lingering on your arms when he passed or always standing next to you in trauma.
It felt something like punishment.
Or a test.
By Friday you were crawling out of your skin, still dealing with the ramifications of the last two days. You hadn't even seen that Robby had text you the night before, so exhausted from work you crashed only spotting his name on your phone the morning you woke from the blare of your alarm.
“You're avoiding me,” he said, kneeling at the computer you typed furiously at to get your charting down. It was a casual move he used, usually un-tying and re-tying his shoes. This time, he simply knelt, seemingly done with pretence.
“What? No.”
“I've barely seen you the last few days," he said, wetting his lips. “Is there something wrong?”
“No, no, I've just been super busy,” you said, tapping on the computer.
Robby shuffled next to you. His hand laid next to yours. He didn't take your hand or stop you but his fingers fidgeted like he didn't know what else to do with himself. “Did I do something?”
You looked down at him, spotting the crease between his brows. “No.”
It was the closest you'd got to seeing him vulnerable.
“So tonight?” he asked. “Feel like I'm losing my damn mind.” His finger was light as it traced your hand, slowly drawing circles.
Tasting Robby was like the first sip of alcohol. It always left you wanting me. Sweet. Bitter. Whatever. You were just left wanting and nothing else, which was why you went crawling back every time. Why saying no had never crosse your mind before. Why the smallest touch from his hand was leaving you in shivers.
You squeezed your eyes shut. “I can't tonight-”
Robby smirked, breathing out a puff of air.
“I would,” you said quickly, turning in your chair to face him. “Believe me, I would, it's just... Trinity is going through some stuff and I just- I don't want to leave her alone, you know.”
It was the truth. Trinity was taking Garcia's silence worse than you or Dennis had anticipated. You knew there was more going on, you only wanted to be there to help her.
Robby perked. “You need me to speak to her?”
“No, no, it's just stuff. She'll be okay I just, want to be safe.”
He nodded but his finger fell from your hand. “Okay.”
“Doctor Robinavitch!” his name was called by the familiar dread of Gloria.
He sighed under his breath as he pushed himself up. “Oh so help me, God.”
By Saturday you were sure Robby thought you were lying and sort out to punish you. He was practically glued at your side all day long. He didn't ask to see you, didn't put his lips near you. But he lingered.
“Okay we don't have a lot of time, there's a lot of bleeding,” said Robby in the face of a trauma, looming over you. “We'll do a Hilar flip.”
“A Hilar flip, are you serious?” said Trinity.
“No other choice.”
You gulped, staring down at the bleeding and misplaced lung. “I've never done one of them before.”
“I'll talk you through it, we'll go easy,” he said, coming at your side. “You're gonna rotate the lung one-eighty, very slow. Very gentle.”
Perhaps it shouldn't have been as erotic as it was. The way his chest heaved against your back, his arm stretching along yours to hold your hand and guide it through the blood to his lung. His face was concentrated next to yours but his breath was hot on your cheek and breathless.
“Go slow.... go slow. Easy.... gentle.... just like that, there we go,” he uttered against your ear.
“Blood loss is slowing down.”
“There we go, you got it,” he mumbled as you slotted it back into its place. “Okay-” Robby moved on like your whole body wasn't trembling. You had to carry on trying to save the guys life after it, like you weren't picturing his entire body draped over yours, whispering filthy things in your ears.
“Thought I was watching a porno there,” said Santos as you all fled the room when the guy was stable.
“Jesus-” you caught your breath, throwing off the gloves and running your hands through your hair, trying to get some air to your neck that sweat.
Santos chuckled to herself. “So does Doctor Robby talk you through it?”
“Trin-” you snap.
“Does he praise you? Is that the kind of thing you're into.”
You didn't respond, hiding in the bathroom to throw cold water onto your face and calm the rush of blood but you could hear Santos outside the door. 'This is a teaching hospital!' she teased.
It became a thing you had to do, get away from him. You couldn't be distracted when dealing with patients. It was bad enough working with him when all you could think about was fucking him!
But Robby seemed to insist in helping you.
“Gaping wounds like this, under the skin we use sub-Q to bring it together,” he instructed as started the stitching for a mans wound on his leg. It was just like anything else, hardly a teaching wound when you knew how to do it. As it was under tissue and there was just no other nurse around Robby insisted.
“Five-O under skin, three-O after that,” he said.
“You think you could show me?”
You both knew you didn't need to be shown but Robby still gave you a small smile and sat on the stall, coming close to you till his meaty thigh was against your own. His hands- though gloved as yours were- still grazed yours as he took the instruments to do it.
“Guide it through... it's finer so you want to extra gentle... lotta care...”
You hummed but you couldn't say you were watching it with keen eyes. You weren't watching the way the stitches came together just the way his hands flexed, his fingers moved.
“Start deep... all the way in... bury the knot in... yeah, see how it comes together just like that?”
You nodded with an absent mind.
Robby held the equipment out to you. “Go ahead.”
You hesitated. Maybe you should have paid more attention.
He all but shoved them into your hand. “You're a big girl, you got it.”
Santos's voice played it your head. Were you into this?
With a breath you steadied yourself and went in. As he had before Robby leant over you, his body practically weighing you down.
You took the thread under the skin, pulling together just like he had.
“Bit deeper-” Robby's hands guided your arms. They were as light as a feather at your elbows before slowly sliding down your arms with a firmer hold, leading the threads.
You remembered his tight hold on you when he wanted you in place on the bed, when he was was dragging clothes off your body or wrapping a hand around your neck-
Robby called your name, watching you expectantly. His eyes were softened at the edges but they grew darker, the smallest bit of a smirk at the corner of his lips. Like he knew exactly what he was doing to you.
“Right... sorry-” you went as deep as he instructed, knowing his face was concentrated on you and your hands.
“Do you want me to leave?” asked the patient.
If he could leave his leg and leave it would've been great.
“We'll get you out of here in no time,” said Robby.
You'd thought that maybe the stitching at taken so long it was almost time to leave. Maybe you could talk to Whitaker and Santos about this hard to get thing. It was only eleven and you had more than six hours left with situations that constantly brought you and Robby together. Even when it didn't, there he was, whispering words of encouragement.
“You got this... nice and easy.... doing really good there...”
Or the simple phrase that had you hiding in the bathroom for five minutes.
“Good girl.”
When the end of the day came you ran out of there, gasping in air and rushing back back to your place.
“Hey,” you greeted walking through the door.
Trinity was already there, looking like she was ready to leave, jacket thrown over her scrubs she hadn't changed out of even though she finished an hour before you. “Hey.”
“Where's Huckleberry?”
“Oh he's at Amy's tonight.”
You scoffed. “Woah. What a speech about doing better and playing hard to get but as soon as the chance comes to play farm. So, movie tonight? I can order pizza?”
“Actually, I'm just on my way out too,” she said. “Garcia called.”
You slumped. Your entire body slumped. Your heart gave up. “What? I thought we all made a deal?”
“We did, I played hard to get now she wants to see me,” she said.
“I haven't seen Robby in three days!”
“So go to his, get dicked down, girl,” she said, moving past you with a breeze. “I'm sorry, we can talk about how much of a bitch I am when I'm back from having the best sex yet! Later!”
She was out the door before you could chastise her. You shut it after her, falling upon it.
You'd ran from the ED to stay strong, to avoid another interaction with Robby that would have you climbing his bones in an empty room. You'd happily have done it with the teasing he'd subjected you to all day. For your friends and the promise you'd made you remained strong.
You'd never do that again.
Saturday night after the longest shift of your life and you had the place to yourself. It was rare. Either Denis or Trinity were home or you were spending the night at Robby's.
Your phone was heavy in your pocket.
Call him.
But the problem still lied un-answered. You were still at Robby's beck and call, begging for his attention. Begging him to be hard thinking about you so he could fuck you into the mattress to be professional the net day and treat you like you were just another MR.
You didn't want special treatment so to say, didn't want him to give you the easy patients or get you into the traumas more. You just wanted a smile, or a glimpse of .... love.
Maybe your friends were okay with what they had. You weren't.
You turned your phone off for the night and stripped from your scrubs, changing into a large shirt and blasting music Trin hated and Denis claimed to hate (but you'd heard him playing your playlist in the shower). For a crazy night alone you caught up on washing several pairs of scrubs and anything else, cleaned out the freezer leaving you barren of anything to eat. Maybe you'd even iron some normal clothes-
That's at least what you were thinking when there was a knock at the door.
You'd hoped it was Denis or Trin coming back, tails between their legs, keys forgotten.
Robby stood on the other side of the door.
You stood, frozen, shocked to see him there. He was just as still, waiting with raised brows. “Doctor Robby. Is everything okay?”
His backpack was slung over his shoulder, his scrubs only slightly dirtied from the day. But his eyes were alive and his body didn't sag with exhaustion like usual. His eyes darted back behind you. “Can I come in?”
You held open the door, closing it slowly behind you.
Robby had only been to your place once before. He looked the open living space open with interest. Typically your meet ups were at his, on account he lived alone and his bed was much nicer to be down on than yours.
“Er- Whitaker and Santos aren't home, if- if this is a hospital thing.”
“It's not,” he said, lowering his bag at the sofa.
“Oh?”
He turned, leaning against the back of it. “It's a me and you thing.”
“Oh.”
His arms flexed as he folded them over his chest, the green of his top under his scrub bunched at the forearms. His head ducked, trying to get a read on you. “So?”
You rocked on your heels, realising the shortened of the shirt you wore. Not that it wasn't anything he had seen before. “So...”
“What's going on?” he asked. There was still nothing in his voice to give away his true thoughts, only a slight edge of urgency.
“What-what-what do you mean?”
Robby listed off what he saw was wrong like symptoms. “You've been avoiding me, you never answered my texts, you didn't want to see me the other night nor tonight though you have the place to yourself-”
“I didn't realise they were gone,” you said.
“Okay so every other time?” he asked. “If I did something you can tell me. I'm a big guy, I can take it.”
It was a chance to voice up every ill thought you'd had but all you could think about was how big he was. Standing there, jutted on the back of the couch with his scrubs around his arms and thighs.
“You didn't do anything,” you said, though you weren't looking at his eyes more his arms.
They flexed again like he knew what he was doing. His voice dropped, finally to something you could name. “So tell me. what's going on.”
If you threw yourself at him you knew the chances of him taking you to bed were high, but the chances of you regretting it in the morning when he had rolled out of bed, dressed and left you were higher.
“I just-” you blew out a breath, readying yourself for the dismiss. “I don't think I can do this anymore.”
Robby waited like he was listening to the words re-play. His head lowered as he nodded, taking it in. “May I ask why?”
“It's the casual thing,” you rushed out before you could take it back. “I don't think I can do casual. I thought I could, but I-I can't.”
He nodded, chin tucked into his chest and for a moment you thought you really had upset him. But then he straightened up, pushed himself from the sofa and shrugged. His boots thudded heavy as he stepped to you slow. “Okay then.”
Was this the moment when you got the door for him on the way out?
“Okay, so... um.... I guess I'll see you-”
Robby's hands grasped your cheeks and he kissed you quick, hard. His lips tasted as they always did with a hint of mint-freshness. They were rough as always as they worked against yours, opening you up to him as always-
You brushed away, shaking your head. “I um- Robby I can't-”
He took a deep, shuddering breath. He stepped closer to you, the heat of his body waving over you. “We don't have to be casual anymore, I don't want to be casual- not anymore.”
Everyone knew Robby only knew casual. Only selected few ever got past seven weeks. Heck you hadn't counted how long this had been going on for, maybe ten weeks but that could be nothing. You were good sex, that was all.
“Robby-”
“Listen, listen-” he said, arms waving around you before settling on your forearms. “You don't want casual, neither do I. You want me to ask? You want me to ask you to be my girlfriend, I'll ask.”
“Robby you don't date,” you tried to tell him.
He scoffed. “I date. But not anymore, not if I have you.”
Had word of the deal got out? Was Robby just tired after his shift? Delusional?
“Hey, hey-" his hands ran through your hair, cradling your cheeks. “I should've said it earlier, I know but I want this. I want serious.”
His eyes crinkled as he looked at you, the edges of his gaze soft. “You don't just have to say this. You can have anyone else-”
Robby's head ducked into the crook of your neck, brushing your hair back and pressing light kisses to the expanse of your neck. “I don't want anyone else, I want you.”
Your body awakened in shivers that he elicited.
His fingers wound to the front of your body, slowly peeling away the buttons of the shirt till it pooled at your ankles. He didn't move to ravage you, his lips remained light as they kissed down your neck, finding your collarbone and working a mark there.
Your hands wound up his arms, clutching at his shoulders. “Robby-”
“Not this time,” he uttered against your collarbone.
You knew what you called him when it was you and him. “Michael-”
“Good girl.”
You moaned out at the words, the moan you'd held all day revibrating around your flat.
He slowly kicked odd his boots and helped you throw off his scrub top before he kissed you again.
You only got a short glimpse at the body you craved before his tongue, hot and heavy, slid into you mouth, bathing in the warmth. His hands were rough as they studied every inch of your body, fingertips digging into skin.
“I want you, sweet girl,” he mumbled against your lips as you scaled your hands under his shirt and along his stomach till your fingers skimmed under his waistband.
His mouth opened against yours, groaning at this slightest touch. “Oh-”
His arms scooped you up, bringing your body up and flush against him as his arms were strong on your back, kissing you. It was all wet tongue and soft lips as he stumbled back on the edge of your couch.
“Santos will kill me if we have sex on our couch,” you gasped.
Robby rose a brow. “Oh, we're having sex?” he teased.
“I should hope so.”
You kissed you hard again, wetting the both of your mouths in delectable smacks of your lips. The two of you stumbled away to your room and his body caged you in as the two of you fell atop your sheets.
You crawled up the bed as Robby's face fell between your chest. His tongue made wet paths from each breast, taking a nipple in his mouth and his hand groping at the other one till you withered against his body.
“Michael-”
He moaned into your breast and shoved a meaty thigh between your legs. “Grind on me,” he demanded.
Your body did against him as if it only listened to his command.
He mouthed your other breast, groping where his tongue had pressed before. All the while you body moved against his thigh, dragging your pussy against him.
“Yeah.... jus' like that... god.... can feel you.... so good,” he uttered as he jutted his thigh against you.
Your hands went to his shoulders, messaging the skin there until he came back up your body and shoved his tongue down your throat again. Your arm wrapped around his neck, keeping him into you.
All the while you wet down his scrubs.
“You want serious?” he uttered against you, pulling back enough to see you.
You nodded, hair splayed over your pillow.
Robby nodded along, eyes hooded. His hand slid down between your bodies. “I can do serious.”
His finger slid into you, working in and out in slow thrusts. But even the meassured curl of his finger had you holding him, back arching from the bed.
“Mmph-”
“Don't be quiet,” he said, nuzzling his head in you neck, biting the skin there. “Don't do that.”
Another finger curled in and you moaned on. You weren't quiet usually, there was nothing more than Robby liked than being loud. Everything was measured in the ED, out of it, buried inside of you or hot mouths on each other had Robby groaning, moaning and wanting you to do the same.
His fingers thrusted knuckle deep in and out again, the soft moving of skin moving around the room as your breaths covered the sound.
His fingers moved quick as your breaths grew laboured. He sucked the skin of your neck, thrusting and curling as his hips sort some sort of friction.
You withered against him. “I'm gonna- Michael I'm gonna-”
He released your skin with a small bite and laid his mouth open on yours. “Cum,” he uttered.
“Michael-”
His voice turned harder, the hand that wasn't inside of you wrapping around your neck, pushing you into your bed. “Cum.”
With just the right curl Robby had your pussy in the palm of his hand, slick with your release as he worked you through it, rubbing his hand along your clit with jolts of your body.
“God so good,” he said, looking up at you as a thin sheen of sweat glistened on your bodies. “And all mine?”
You nodded, cheeks flushed. You could feel the heat of your body as strong as it was when he walked in.
“All mine, huh?”
“Yes,” you said, breathless.
Robby slowly took out his fingers from you, putting his fingers in his mouth and licking them clean like it was nothing. He fell back on his feet, fingers working on the ties of his scrubs. “That why you were avoiding me?”
“I wasn't-” your words died in your throat as he dropped his scrubs and boxers in one.
You'd seen his cock enough to know it by memory but the size and fullness of him always rendered you speechless.
Robby knew it to. He stood there with a smirk. “You weren't avoiding me?”
Slowly, he sank to his knees.
“No,” you said, mesmerised by the sight of him going down.
Robby's hands grabbed your thighs, spreading them. He tapped your ankles, getting them on the bed as he got closer to your heat, still leaking from the last orgasm. “Promise?”
The words had hardly left your lips before his tongue pressed into you.
Your entire body moved into his but his arms wrapped around your hips, keeping you pressed into the bed. He moved further up, burying himself in you.
“Aw- fuck-” your hands waved for purchase before curling into the sheets.
He licked a stripe up and down before nudging your lips open and finding himself in there. It wasn't the slow drag of fingers but the desperate kisses and licks of a man hungry. He pulled back, spitting against you. “You won't avoid me again, will you baby?”
You shook your head.
Robby's eyes remained on yours until he buried himself in your pussy. You watched his eyes roll into the back of his head as he moaned into you.
His hands kept you spread open every time they quivered but it didn't take long for his hand to wind down to his cock. You prepped yourself up onto your elbows to watch as he pumped his cock agonizingly slow.
“Want your cock, Robby-”
He halted his movements and you but down on your lip.
“What did you just call me?” he asked, slowly moving up your body.
You knew you were supposed to call him Michael but watching the full swing of his cock stand to attention as he made his way over you was far too distracting.
“Hey-v his hand cupped your chin, forcing you to look up. “Michael.”
You nodded. Your hands reached for his cock, straining to wrap around him.
The only notice of the effect you had was the clench of his jaw.
“Michael,” he repeated, voice almost a growl.
“Michael.”
He nodded.
“Condom?” he asked, jutting back on his heels.
Your hand slowly worked his cock, the pre-cum beading at the tip. You shook your head. You were both clean, you were on the pill but tonight you wanted to feel everything, wanted him to even fill you-
Robby bent his head, spitting down on his cock and your hand. For a moment that's all it was, you hand moving on his cock as your other circled your clit. “God... your hand.... missed you...”
When your strokes got heavier, faster Robby's head fell back and he groaned. His cock was pink, heavy in your hand-
Quickly he grabbed your wrist and threw it off before grabbing the hilt of his own cock and slowly pushing into you.
His throat strained as he groaned at the push in and your back arched into him. “Fuck!” he fell atop you, arms braced at either side. “Shit- ah-”
Your arm wrapped around his shoulders, keeping you in.
“God, you make me crazy,” he uttered, searching for your lips.
The two of you collided in a mess of salvia, tongue, lips as he pushed into you, catching your gasps.
Eventually the rock of his hips grew steady. The creak of your old bed echoed the moves of him against you.
“Shit- ah-” he groaned, shaking off the sweat and the tension.
“Michael,” you said, holding him in closer. “I want you to... go hard.”
Hard he could do. Soft he could do. He would do anything you asked.
His tongue darted out, swiping your lips. “You missed me?”
“So much, so much, so much,” you pulled him down till his weight tested yours, cock deep. “On me.”
“Okay, okay,” he mumbled to himself. He put all his weight down, crashing your body into his bed. He wasn't as young as he once was. By no means but if you wanted it, he'd give it.
Pressed into you his cock went far and deep and he couldn't fully withdraw so it was small, maddening movements.
“Oh god,” he uttered.
You moaned, loud, as he wanted and he was breathless, groaning.
The dull thump of your headboard banged on the wall and something on your bedside table fell off.
Robby's arm stretched out, grabbing your hand and stretching your arms to the headboard, trying to steady it. With the stretch of the bodies he reached that spot in you.
“Aw fuck!” You yelled out, louder than anticipated. “Michael I'm gonna- I'm gonna-”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck-” he grunted with you. His other hand threw to your hip, holding your pelvis flush into you. “Fuck!”
In seconds he let go inside of you and the gush of his cum and the sound of the wet bodies threw you over the edge. His clutch on your hand grew tighter as his body trembled with yours, the spurts of your releases cooling down.
If this was casual Robby wouldn't have lingered, he'd have pulled out, flashed you a smile before using the bathroom.
He moved slower, staying till the both of you were spent. He kissed you, soft and sweet, lips moving around to remember the taste. “I'll move out,” he whispered as he took out his cock.
You stole a glance of both of your release leaking from you and around him before Robby moved aside.
He didn't flee, he didn't go to the bathroom. He pulled the sheets from under your bodies and got the both of you into bed. He laid beside you.
Robby tucked you under his arm, sweat on both your bodies cooling as you laid together. “Feels better when we're serious.” His fingers moved slow on your shoulder, delicate touches like a feather.
If he woke with a new thought, woke with regret you'd deal with it. For the moment you allowed yourself to feel the thump of his heart as the two of you slowly lulled to sleep.
Your alarm was the first thing you picked up in the morning. It's beeping ringing in your ear as you moved to turn the thing off or throw it at the wall-
A weight over your stomach made the effort harder but you got it.
Last night came back to you in the spill of scrubs on the floor and the ache between your legs.
Robby stirred next to you. Last night.
He stayed.
“You on today?” he asked, morning voice rough. You got a look at him, it was a rare sight you got to see him in morning light. His eyes were still shut, his face without the stress the day job gave him. He asked so casual, as if this was a morning routine you'd slipped into years ago.
You hummed, nodding and readying to move-
His arm tightened, drawing you in. “Call in sick.”
You chuckled, but your eyes closed. You promised yourself five more minutes. “My attending might have something to say about that.”
Robby grumbled. “Have a word with him, I'm sure you can be very persuasive.”
Somewhere in you apartment you heard the front door open and close, voices moving around the place.
You hadn't closed the door.
“Hey! We brought coffee and bagels!” called Santos.
“We're sorry for leaving you- we- huh?” you heard Whitaker. “What the?”
The clothes on the floor. The scrub top that would have his doctors badge on it.
You groaned and suddenly Whitaker and Santos were passing the doorway, one smirking, the other shocked.
Robby beside you didn't even stir.
“Good morning, Doctor Robby!” called Santos.
He only lifted a hand in greeting before making sure the covers were over the two of you.
You reached for something heavy, landing on a cushion and aiming at the door. It closed in front of your laughing friends.
Al-Hashimi gives me such younger sister energy if not just for her habit of suddenly appearing directly next to Robby scaring the shit out of him with a smile and something to say.
as someone with 300+ unanswered asks in my inbox, i would love to see any “oops only one bed” uwu xoxo @rr-after-dark
james!! thank you so much for the request (: i decided to do this one with jack. i reallllyy hope you like it!! <3
content: 18+ mdni, sexually explicit content, a conference, a blizzard, and a single bed what could go wrong?? (:
dr abbot x f!reader
Jack frustratedly tapped his credit card against the front desk, "I don't understand, I reserved two rooms."
"I'm really sorry, sir," A flustered receptionist in her early twenties said emphatically, "With the rush because of the storm, we overbooked and—"
"Hey, I got the rest of the stuff," You said, materializing next to him with your bags. When you looked up to see his face, you frowned, "What's the matter?"
"Uh," Jack nervously rubbed at the back of his neck, "With the, uh, storm… The hotel seems to have… Overbooked the rooms—"
"Again," The nervous receptionist interrupted, "I'm so, so sorry."
"Oh no," You frowned, "There's no rooms?"
"No, no," The receptionist said quickly, "No it's just, you booked two rooms, but we only have one."
You visibly brightened, "Oh! That's a relief."
Jack could feel his blood pressure steadily rising. He knew coming to this conference with only you for company was a mistake. Robby had teased him about it when he realized, with horror, it would just be the two of you.
The entire trip he was overly conscious of his proximity to you, the heat of your body, your knee knocking into his. And you, by all accounts, seemed painfully oblivious to his internal warring. He had to fight himself not to touch you, not to look at you too long, not to imagine what it would be like to kiss and touch you the way he really wanted to.
Robby had encouraged him ages ago to just ask you out, but he felt so out of practice after his wife he couldn't deal with the possibility of rejection. It was much easier to just use the idea of you as a fantasy. What if he finally worked up the courage and you said yes?
But this entire trip, his anxiety had been at an all time high with no one else for him to buffer his nerves.
He cleared his throat, "The room only has one bed," He said lowly.
"Hm," You hummed and turned back to the receptionist, "Could we get a cot in the room?"
She shook her head ruefully, "I'm so sorry, all of them are in use. If you want I can cancel the reservation and fully refund—"
"No!" You said quickly, "No, no, it's um…" You turned back to Jack, "I'm totally fine with sharing a bed for one night if you are. I mean, everywhere has to be booked up because of the storm. We might not find anywhere else."
You were right, of course. Despite the fact that kill bill sirens were on a loop in his brain at the idea of having to be so close to you all night when he desperately needed to let off some steam in private after being so close to you all goddamn day— It seemed he didn't have much choice.
He forced a smile, "If it's good with you, it's good with me."
And with that, you took the room key from the receptionist and Jack Abbot willingly followed you down the hall into his own personal hell.
You showered first as he carefully removed his prosthesis and sighed in relief as he sat at the edge of the bed. Turning on the TV, he watched the weather report as a man went on and on about the severe blizzard conditions that were expected to start in a few hours. About ten minutes later, you came out of the bathroom in a robe and sat down next to him, the scent of coconut and vanilla wafting off you.
"Oh, shit," You murmured as you took in the report, "This is worse than they were saying a few hours ago."
Jack nodded. Although he was distracted with thoughts of you, he was also running over emergency contingency plans in his head. But really, besides having emergency supplies in his duffle (warming blanket, non perishable foods, flashlight, batteries, first aid kit) it seemed likely that they might be stuck here for more than just one night.
He tried not to think about that. Went to shower and fucked his fist in his shower chair, biting on his arm to keep himself quiet while his mind raced with thoughts of you, imagining himself peeling you out of that robe, kissing gently down your neck and color bone, licking up stray water droplets from the shower. He tried to imagine what you might sound like moaning his name in pleasure. He longed to worship you the way you deserved, if only he had the fucking nerve to tell you how he felt.
It was most on his mind this trip since you'd been forced to be alone together for so long. You'd traveled here together on the same flight, spent the entire conference side by side cracking jokes and mingling with other doctors. He saved you a seat at every table, listened intently when you rambled on about how nervous you were about presenting at a big conference for the first time.
"I've always been shit at oral presentations." You said, fingers twisting nervously in front of you as the two of you waited in the wings. You were up next.
"Don't put so much pressure on yourself," He said, "I'll be there the whole time. I'll jump in if you need me to.
You'd grabbed his hand, squeezed it gently, and smiled at him, "Thank you."
He'd nodded and pretended the softness of your hand in his didn't feel transformative, didn't make him feel like they were made for him to hold.
Now he made his way out of the shower, in just a pair of briefs as he used his crutches to maneuver back into the bedroom. You were sat up in the bed, eReader in hand, the blue light of the TV flickered over the plains of your face. Your eyes widened just slightly at the sight of him, shirtless and still dripping from the shower, but then swallowed and averted your eyes.
"Um, do you—" You cleared your throat and Jack stifled a smirk, "Do you need help with anything?"
Jack shook his head as he lowered himself to the edge of the bed again, "No, I got it. Thanks."
After some time, he made his way into the bed next to you and the two of you sat in companionable silence as the weather man continued to give play by play updates as the blizzard got ever closer. Jack was trying not to think about the warmth your body might provide in the night when you yawned and placed the eReader on your nightstand.
"Think I'm gonna try to get some sleep," You said, settling beneath the covers.
"Oh, let me turn off—" Jack started, reaching for the remote, but you cut him off.
"No, it's okay. Turn it off whenever. I can sleep through anything."
Jack sat awake for what felt like hours, unable to sleep for fear of reaching for you in his sleep. Somewhere in his subconscious was a level of desire he was hardly able to keep in check when he was awake. He had no idea what his body would do once his brain was offline.
He was listening to you snoring softly and had flipped the channel to M*A*S*H reruns when the room suddenly went dark. The whir of the heater creaked to silence until the only sound in the room was the wind rattling against the windows.
Fuck. He thought.
"Jack?" Your voice was bleary with sleep.
"Power went out," He said in response, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and fumbling around for his crutches.
"Well—Don't—It might come back in a second—"
"It's not coming back on. They can't send crews out in this weather."
"Well the hotel must have a generator."
"Maybe," Jack said, now ruffling through his duffel for a flashlight, "But it might be a while."
He clicked on the switch on the flashlight and immediately felt relief as light flooded the room. Pointing it towards your spot on the bed, you squinted and covered your eyes with your forearm at the sudden brightness.
"Sorry," He said and pointed it away from you.
"Why don't we just get some sleep," You said through a yawn, "The power'll probably be back up by the time we wake up."
You were likely right, but the more time passed the more he felt like the possibility of him being able to sleep while you were right next to him was slim to none.
He reached for his prosthesis, "I'm just gonna take a walk to the front desk to see—"
"No!" You said quickly, and it came out almost like a whine, "Please, don't. I just, um, I don't wanna be alone."
He almost laughed, "Are you… Afraid of the dark?"
You sighed, "Don't make fun."
"I'm not," He said quickly, schooling his features, "I'm just surprised. I won't leave if you don't want me to."
"Thank you," You said, the relief in your tone palpable.
He climbed back into the bed, leaving the flashlight on the nightstand and pointing towards the ceiling so that it bathed most of the room in a warm glow. He saw you shiver after a moment and frowned, "You're cold?"
You sank deeper into the duvet, "I can already tell the heat is out."
"Well I have an emergency warming blanket—"
You laughed, "You really are prepared for everything, huh?"
Not everything. He thought. Not you.
Instead, he only shrugged.
"I don't want some weird foil blanket, I'd have to be close to hypothermic before I'd use it."
He chuckled, "Suit yourself."
But after almost twenty minutes without the heat, you were nearly vibrating the whole mattress with your shivering.
"Could I, um…" You sounded shy and when he looked over at you, you were staring at the ceiling, "Could I move a little closer to you? Just…For warmth. I don't wanna make you uncomfortable."
He fingers itched to pull you to him, envelop you entirely in his warmth, but he resisted.
"Yeah, of course." He said instead, carefully camouflaging the want from his voice.
You scooted your body over until your hips were touching his. He wanted to resist, really, he did. But you were so cold.
"Well, that's not gonna help you much," He said softly and turned on his side toward you, "Can I?" He asked, reaching his arms toward you.
You barely hesitated before nodding and he pulled you into his arms. Once settled, you sighed in contentment, running your hands along his arms as they held you flush to his chest.
"This okay?" He asked softly.
You nodded, "Yeah, you?"
He closed his eyes, "I'm good."
He relished in the feel of you in his arms, the way your chest rose and fell with each breath. With you so close to him, his mind wandered to thoughts of kissing your neck and allowing his hands to wander beneath your shirt, knead and toy with the soft flesh of your breasts—
Shit. He felt it when the blood rushed between his legs, his cock swelling and prodding at your ass. He felt the flush crawl up his neck, "Fuck, sorry, I—"
"It's okay," You said quickly, sounding a bit breathless, "It a normal reaction, but…"
He hung on your every word, "But…?"
"Well, I just, if—If it were more than that. That would be okay, too."
He thought his heart might have skipped a beat. He swallowed thickly, "Yeah?"
You nodded, "But it's okay if… if you don't feel the same."
He laughed, "You have no idea just how desperately I want you."
"Really?"
He nodded and used his hands to gently tilt your face to the side so he had access to your neck where he laid gentle kisses all the way up to your ear. You sighed and turned your head so you could meet his kisses. The taste of you, finally on his tongue, it was addicting. The sounds you made, better than anything he could have imagined.
His hands roamed up your shirt and as he teased and twisted your nipples, you squirmed against him, creating friction against his cock, "Jesus Christ." He hissed.
So quickly, you were putty in his hands, unable to string a sentence together. Drunk on his touch.
He slipped a hand down your belly and into your panties. Slowly, he ran his fingers over your lips and then circled your clit. Repeated the motion, ghosting over your entrance, but never quite penetrating. Until you were writhing against him, rutting your hips into his palm, whining for more.
"That feel good, baby? You want more?"
You hiccuped, nodding helplessly.
"You want me to fuck you with my fingers?"
"Please, Jack." You managed finally and he smiled, pressed a kiss just below your ear.
"Good girl, so good for me." He murmured and slowly pushed his middle finger inside you.
Already wet and aching, you accommodated the stretch with ease and he began prodding, finding where it was that most drove you crazy. Then he pushed his ring finger inside you, used his thumb to continue rubbing your clit.
In moments, you were falling apart in his arms. He cooed sweet words in your ear as you came down and then slowly slipped his fingers out of you once you settled again. Unable to help himself, he sucked your juices off his fingers. The taste of you riled him so thoroughly, his cock twitched, aching and full against his thigh as he considered splaying you open to feast properly.
But before he could do anything, the TV came back on and the heater hummed back to life. You turned in his arms to face him, the blue light casting shadows across your face. But it didn't matter, he saw the giddiness you tried to hide. You swallowed, "Looks like the generator kicked in."
He nodded and ran his thumb over your lower lip, "It's a shame, I was looking forward to keeping you warm all night."
Finally, a smile split across your face and you closed the inches between you to kiss him, "I'm still pretty cold," You said softly into his mouth, "If the offer still stands."
A wolfish grin spread across Jack's face as you began tugging at his boxers.
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Dennis absolutely despises Garcia. Not because she’s loudly fucking his roommate when he’s trying to sleep or study, though he’s not a fan of that.
He hates her because he can hear Santos crying late at night and already knows who is to blame. Santos has rose colored glasses around her, but he doesn’t. He can see how cruel she is to his best friend.
He hates how Garcia never cares about how Santos feels, how she walks all over her just because she can. He watches and realizes that Garcia genuinely sees Trinity as less than her, like she’s nothing more than, as she so aptly put it, a stress ball.
He learns to cook Santos’s favorite foods and listens to her rant over bowls of Sinigang because she deserves to have at least one person who cares like Yolanda should. His guard is always up around the older woman, loyalty to his pseudo sister making his blood boil.
the reason why AI has become so prevalent in the fanfic community, i think, is because of the shift of fanfic and fandom from a collaborative based community to a commodity based community. it's gone from a desire to make connections and create art with people in general and in specificity to having the biggest and best and most popular work and having everyone's eyes on it. it's stopped being about the process of the art and more about the end result. and that's just the state of the internet in general when algorithm based economy is prioritized and that's the only way people know how to measure their place within an internet space anymore.
and the lack of wanting to actually sit with a piece of art you are making and being uncomfortable with it, mad at it, doubtful of it, mess around with style and syntax and plot and narration and dialogue, make an absolute mess of it, back off from it, come back to it, seek out answers from friends or other writers or other art or the world in general creates a landscape of reliance on generative AI to hurtle everyone over the difficult aspects of making art right into the end product so it can be waved around for validation and accolades. there's no desire for the act of discovery in the process of making, the spontaneous aligning of thoughts, the moment when something becomes concise and clear in your mind, when it all falls into place. the arduous relief of doing away with something that isn't benefiting the art anymore. the electrifying sense of pride when it just fucking finally works and the words flow and you get into the state of pure, uninhibited creativity. and i don't know how to solve that because there was always people who loved the idea of being a writer but didn't want to actually write and now they have a tailor-made "tool" that allows them to do this and then they get to turn around and think, "well that wasn't that hard". and that is infuriating.
synopsisrobby went away hoping to catch peace in his three months get away but he caught sight of something else instead. now he's coming back after watching you for months over a camera, desperate for the real thing but what you don't know won't hurt you, right? (7.5k words)
warningssmut MDNI, voyerism, phone sex, watching masturbation through cameras, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, praise kink, smell play if thats a thing, fingering, oral (f and m receiving) finger sucking, handjob, slight chocking? unprotected p in v
authornotesby popular demand a part two to camera on me baby! but it can also kind of be read as a standalone. on a side note, I hate the word 'panties' I don't know why. In britain i'm pretty sure we call them knickers but that also sounds way less sexy. and i know Noah said in an interview he doesn't have chest hair but Robby does, I don't make the rules. (gif credit to @emziess :)
pitt masterlist! part one 'camera on me baby'
It was Duke's fault, really. The reason why you found out about the camera's in the first place. Although the blame on Duke can be run back down to Robby again for asking his friend to help instal the damn things.
You'd got home after a typical gruelling day, dumping your bag at the kitchen counter and rolling out the tension in your shoulders. There wasn't even anything special about the day that made it feel so long. You'd all been so sure (well, almost everyone, you had not been sure) that the place could run without Robby, so much so many felt they needed to prove that fact.
The wrong blood was hooked up to a patient, realised in just a nick of time.
Two diagnosis were switched up so a poor old man thought he was dying a lot sooner than he was. Jack smoothed that one out.
And a man with heart palpations just couldn't leave his cat so had to bring him in and Gloria just had to come down at that same time.
So you were ready to crash when there was a knock on the door.
Something you learnt living in Robby's space was the lack of visitors he had. You'd bumped into Mrs Hathaway who lived two doors down and had a bad habit of smoking a pack a day and carried the smell with her and explained that Robby was away so you were looking after his one house plant and bringing in his male.
But Mrs Hathaway never came around.
You wondered if you'd been so tired you'd called yourself a take-away and forgot as you looked through the peep hole.
Long grey hair and stormy eyes looked back at you. A denim vest and tattoos standing out against the canvas of skin. Before you wouldn't have known the guy; would've debated crashing Robby's peace to ask who this guy was but now he was a frequent flyer at PTMC.
“Hey, Duke,” you greeted, holding the door open.
Duke grinned and went in for a hug. “Hey.”
He smelt like bike oil and leather but you patted his back. You didn't know if he was deep down an affectionate guy or if it was the diagnosis but every time he visited the hospital for check ups or meds for his pain who was asking for particular nurses and buying up their time with idle chatter.
Nobody seemed to mind.
“Robby's still not back,” you said, pulling away and following him into Robby's place.
“Oh yeah, I know, just needed to pick up some tools I left here,” he said.
You watched him move around, flicking on lights as he went that you hadn't had the chance to turn on yet. He moved around Robby's place like he knew every nook and cranny. Maybe he did. Slowly, you were learning Robby had a life outside of the Pitt.
“So, how's the bachelor pad treating you?” Duke called as he wondered around the space.
“It's nice, it's good,” you said, following behind a pace or two and just hoping the tools weren't in Robby's room. Then he might see your bag you'd slowly let spill out over the place and a coffee mug you'd left from this morning. He might see the rumpled sheets and thrown over cover and realise you were sleeping in your bosses bed and not the provided spare room.
The guest room bed hadn't been made and you'd been so tired coming back that you'd just crashed in his bed, for one night. You were going to clean the sheets but then his bed was so comfortable you struggled even getting up in the morning.
It felt like an embrace from him.
“The wi-fi playing up or anything?” he asked, searching through kitchen cupboards.
“No, it's been fine.”
“Been eating? Punk has a good kitchen.”
“Did Robby ask you to check on me, or something?” you asked, hoping Robby didn't think he'd made a mistake in asking you to house sit. His one plant was very well cared for and mail organised by what you think required his upmost attention first. You'd even kept a pile of junk mail just in case he was particular in the sort he got rid of.
“No,” Duke chuckled. “I just know I'll get bonus points if I check in on you.”
Before you could ask what he meant by that there was a triumphant cheer as he started to pull out so many tools and a tool box you wondered if he was robbing Robby.
“Did Robby tell you he has a parking spot reserved out front? Parking can be a bitch here.”
“Oh, I don't drive I catch the bus.”
“He tell you about the camera's.”
The sleep that had been invading your every sense ebbed away. “Cameras?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Around the place. Installed them a couple months back.”
Cameras. All around the place.
You searched high around in places you'd never thought to scrutinise before. There, looming like a bird of prey in the corner of the kitchen was what could be assumed a camera. It was just a black dot to you with the high ceilings but when you glanced over at the living area there was a better view of the camera sat in the corner, aimed right where you stood at the kitchen island.
Cameras. About the place. The place you'd been living for weeks.
You'd been sleeping in Robby's bed, you'd been flaunting around in your shirt and nothing else. You had Trinity around to eat pizza and drink wine in your bras. You'd looked through Robby's stuff, you'd-
You'd done un-speakable things to yourself in that bed.
Were they a security measure? Did the tapes end up anywhere? And if they did, could you find them and burn them.
“The camera's,” said Duke, standing with tool box full in hand. “He mentioned them right.”
No. Robby hadn't mentioned anything of the sort. Hadn't even let onto the fact you might want to be on your guard. He'd welcomed you into his place, told you to treat it like yours while he was gone.
“Oh, yeah, cameras. He-he told me about the camera's,” you lied, gulping down the truth.
What if you said no he hadn't and it was written all over your face that you were guilty of.... of something. What if Duke thought it was Robby's fault? He was probably just tired, or forgot they were even there.
“Yeah, took us ages to get up. We were no good at it, you know, old men and technology,” he said, heading toward the door already.
“Yeah, yeah... totally.”
“Okay, see ya soon, doc!”
“You too, Duke.” As distracted as you were, Duke let himself out. The door closed and you were left alone with the cameras.
Maybe they weren't working all the time. Maybe, since Robby knew it was just you and he could trust you he'd turned off the cameras. Maybe he really had just forgot they were there and no longer used them.
Maybe's chased you into Robby's ensuite, sat you down on the of the counter. You scanned the corners subtly in case you were being watched but found only clean tiles and sterile walls. Safe.
As for the rest of the place, you dreaded to think.
You had almost forgot all about the cameras again. The first night you slept stiff, still un-able to drag yourself from the comfort of Robby's bed but you found the camera, tucked away in a corner. You'd watched for a flashing light but found none, so did that not mean it was off?
You thought about texting Robby, asking him about the cameras but you looked back at the last texts. He'd sent you a picture of a lake he was at, said it was peaceful, said he was enjoying his time. You didn't want to freak him out or accuse him of anything.
You knew the kind of guy Robby was. If he remembered the cameras, he'd tell you.
Moving on from that catastrophe was easy when you worked in the ED. Disasters came in and managed your time. You'd thought about asking Jack when you saw him at hand off but smiled him off.
Days later you were forgetting all about it.
“I mean, I've heard some pretty crazy stories before but a carrot, up the butt,” Trinity chuckled down the phone.
“Is it bad it's not even the first I've seen,” you said. “I had someone with a cucumber up there once.”
Santos hummed on the other end of the phone. “I get it, longer, smoother.”
You had been chopping up a carrot to make a ragu and thought different of it, putting it aside and forging any vegetable that could be seen as phallic. “You're disgusting.”
“Say that to the patient with half a carrot stuck up there.”
A quick sear of pain made you jump as beads of blood found its way down to Robby's chopping board and the onion you'd been slicing.
“Oh shit-”
“What happened? Found Robby's Viagra?” she said down the other line.
“Hilarious,” you grit out. Without thinking you grabbed the tea towel and wrapped it around your hand, holding it up high. You cursed quietly again when you realised you'd just ruined one of his. “I just, er, dropped one of Robby's glasses, I gotta go, I'll call you back.”
You wedged your wrapped up hand into your chest and ended the call.
Being a doctor yourself you knew you could handle a cut, blood, a gash. Peeling it away and dabbing at the edges you found the wound, a clean cut, not too deep. Stitches, maybe.
If you kept it wrapped up you could just leave it till the morning for your shift-
Your phone rang again and you answered without looking. Most calls logged in your phone were Trinity anyway. “No, I have not seen a banana in a vagina.”
“Well hello to you too,” said a striking and familiar deep rumble of a voice.
“Robby. Hey, sorry I-I thought you were Santos.”
He chuckled but it was curt. “Exciting day in work?”
“Yeah-yeah, you could say that,” you put down your phone on speaker and re-wrapped your hand. “So what's up? What's with the call?”
“I just wanted to... check in, it's been a while.”
You squeezed your hand, trying to stop the bleeding. “Everything's fine. All fine. Place is still standing.”
“Yeah, yeah, that's good, that's good,” he said with hesitation. “How are you? Staying safe, no-no accidents around the place I hope. Sometimes that place is a death trap. Door can stick... and- and my knives can be... sharp.”
Suddenly you realised.
The camera's.
Robby hadn't called you while he'd been away. He'd text only oddly to see how things were or send pictures of where he was- that was a new development.
He'd texted you about the temp playing up in his shower after you made one too hot and had to lie bare on is bed with his fan on you.
He'd texted that he had extra blankets if you were cold when you were wrapped up in his dressing gown.
He knew about the camera's.
Robby had seen. Everything.
“Still there?” he asked.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry just- funny you should bring up the knives, I just had a little accident.”
“Are you okay? Did you cut yourself?”
You tried not to eye the camera's. “Just a small cut.”
“You wouldn't lie to me would you?” he asked, a dark tint to his voice.
You didn't know what worried you more. The fact he was watching you close enough to see and call you, or the fact the thought didn't creep you out as you supposed it should. “How would you feel if I bloodied one of your tea towels.”
“Relieved, as long as you get your cut looked at.”
“And if I got blood on a chopping board.”
“Chopping board- bit of wood, I can get some more wood up here.”
“And how is your trip?”
Robby chuckled. “Oh no, no, no you're not distracting me from this. Got to the ER.”
“It's not that deep.”
“It loo-”
For a moment you were both silent, knowing what he was going to say. It looks bad. You felt burning in the back of your skull as you felt the camera's around you like his own gaze when he was watching your procedures in the ED.
“Better safe than sorry,” he said with a clear of his throat.
“I'll be fine.”
“Yeah, well, I've already texted Jack letting him know you're on your way in so you don't want to disappoint him do you. Or me. Do you, huh?”
You hoped the camera's didn't pick up on the blush rising to your cheeks. “No, I do not, Doctor Robby.”
He hummed. “Good girl.”
Your breath caught in your throat and the sudden thump of pain in your hand moved somewhere lower. Was it normal to feel aroused by the idea of being watched, with a cut bloody hand and your boss down the line.
“I guess I better get going, I don't want to disappoint.”
“No you don't.”
“So, I should go.”
“You should.”
He did not hang up and neither did you. At least you had the excuse of doing it all one handed.
“Okay, bye then,” you said, biting down on your lip to hide your smile.
“Bye.”
“Speak soon?”
“Yeah, I'll call you.”
Finally you pulled the phone back and declined. You wondered if you could hide away in the bathroom but the camera...
How much time did he spend watching you? Did he just so happen to check in at the same time the knife sliced your palm? Was he watching and had been watching since he left?
Had he watched when you plunged your fingers into your own pussy, spreading your need around... and called his name?
What kind of person did it make you if you wanted him to see that?
You got your hand sorted, stropping into the ED like you were a petulant child. Jack had only laughed at you, all but waiting in a swivel stool and turning around like a James Bond villain just to say: “I've been expecting you.”
However, your hand did need stitches and as the slice was along your palm it made trauma procedures difficult. You were stuck ordering around Ogilvie which was about as fun as it sounded and charting.
There was only small reliefs.
Practically as soon as you got back to Robby's he was dropping you a text or calling you. Usually it was under the pretence of checking on your hand or that he was waiting on an important letter but you knew it wasn't that. He knew exactly when you were home, whether it was overtime or not.
The camera's became hard to ignore but you tried to. You didn't want to freak Robby out by telling him you know about them. You didn't want to scare him off from watching you. Shouldn't it have been the other way around? Shouldn't he know that what he was doing was wrong on so many levels? Borderline, stalker-ish.
Still, one night, one lonely night you were in his bed unable to sleep. You were too busy thinking about Robby and the cameras.
It was hard being single and lonely. You had your own devices but toys were back at yours (Trinity brought you them as a joke birthday present and it turned into an even bigger joke when you opened them up in front of Denis) and you didn't want to bring toys into Robby's room.
Porn videos could get you going. Maybe a smutty book.
But knowing the camera's were there made it all the more easier to slide your fingers in your panties and find your arousal pooling.
Maybe Robby wasn't watching. Maybe he could tell this was a private moment and he shouldn't have been watching. The thought had your fingers stilling over your clit, your mind racing ahead of you. Maybe he didn't look at the camera's... maybe this was you over thinking it all...
Your phone rang on the bedside table and you reached over to get it.
There was a flash of Robby's name so familiar to you know it was like your own phone background.
Your other hand was still down your panties when you answered.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” his voice was gruff, low in his throat like he'd just woken up. “What are you up to?”
So, he was watching.
You smirked to yourself, trying desperately not to look at the camera. “Whyyyy are you asking?”
You heard him shuffle around on the other end. “Dunno, was just bored. Was thinking about you.”
“Oh, really?” trying not to sound too delighted was not your specialty.
“Yeah... seem to be doing that a lot these days.”
“You must miss me, huh?”
“Yeah. I must,” he hummed. “You know, I think you'd like it up here. Heck, I actually think I could've used the company, too.”
You slid a finger through your entrance. You were wet before just thinking about him, his voice low and gruff, the way it fell when talking through a serious procedure made it so you were clenching with every rise and fall of his voice. “If I was there with you who'd look after your place?”
“Hmm, you make a good point,” he said, a small tick to his words. “Speaking of my place, which bed you sleeping in?”
You felt your cheeks tint red as you pushed in another finger, pushing in and out slowly. Did he want to hear you were in his bed, even though he could see that you were? You toyed with him a little. It seemed only fair. “Why? Didn't you say I could pick either?”
“I'm just curious. Tell me.”
You closed your eyes and inhaled the smell of him that still lingered around his bed, clouding the edges of your mind in desire. “Yours.”
He chuckled. “Mine, huh?”
“Yeah. It's got the ensuite. It's bigger. It's comfy,” you said. You moved your fingers around your clit, drawing small circles and stretching your legs wider. You had some decency, let it be known, you were under the covers with an old and tattered T-shirt but you were sure it wasn't hard to tell what you were getting up to under there.
“Comfy, you think so?”
“Yeah,” you said. “Smells like you too.”
A breath caught down the line. “Do you like that it smells like me?”
You nodded, growing wetter as your eyes closed. “I do. I can wash it before you get back so it doesn't smell like me.”
“No,” he said, an un-mistakable sound of a zipper being pulled down sat behind his words. “Don't wash them. Don't.”
You smirked to yourself, the circles you were drawing over your nerves growing lazy. “What are you doing, Robby?”
“Nothing,” he said, a teasing lift to his voice and a rustle of clothes. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” you said, sliding your fingers into yourself and out, spreading your arousal as your hole clenched around nothing. You shuffled, getting your shirt to ride higher, but not enough for him to tell.
“Are you doing nothing in my bed?”
“Do you want me to be?”
There was a small but shark intake of breath on the other end. “Yeah. Yeah I do.”
You pictured Robby spread out on a sofa in a log cabin somewhere far away. His legs would be spread wide, jeans and boxers pulled down till his cock, hard, was against his stomach. His laptop out at the coffee table, phone to his ear. You wondered if he took things slow? You'd always pictured him the hot and heavy type. His fist wrapped around his cock and pumping, tickling the dark hairs you imagined lived at the base of him.
Your hips jutted up as you pictured him. Hot and heavy. You imagined him next to you in his bed, his coarse hand tracing up your body, finger pinching your nipple.
“What have you been doing... at my place?” he asked, a sudden breathless tone to him. “In my bed.”
You bit back your lip. “Sleeping,” you teased.
Robby groaned, almost a growl. “What-what else?”
“Is there supposed to be something else?”
“Fuck, yes.”
Fuck yes. You pictured him spreading your legs, rubbing his mouth against you with the burn of his beard. Fuck yes. You imagined his cock heavy on your tongue, needy and groaning. Fuck yes. You pumped your fingers in and out and circled your clit imagining the plumpness of his fingers.
“Whatever- whatever you want me to be doing in your bed.” It was a dangerous sort of game you were playing, balancing over the line you weren't crossing with the cameras like it was a tightrope.
“Well... you know what a lonely, old man like me does in that bed, huh?” he said. “You wanna know?”
You nodded and without asking for words he started to tell you, because of course he didn't have to hear your confirmation to see you it.
“After long and hard days, just come home, put the tv on low, maybe some music... drink a beer,” he listed as you impatiently waited for him to get to the exciting parts. Still, his voice was enough to have your legs stretched open, your fingers working yourself open. “Sometimes it's tough to stop thinking about my pretty resident...”
“Hope you're not talking about Whitaker,” you joked.
“You know I'm not, baby,” said Robby with a shaky exhale. “You know I go home... get so hard thinking about you...”
You moaned out a gasp.
“You like me thinking about you?” he asked.
You thought of him spitting down on his cock, slowly rubbing it up and down. Or maybe he had pre-cum enough to lubricate it for him. “I do, I do.”
There was a puff of air on the other side. “You ever think about me?”
Your back arched off the bed as you curled your fingers inside of you. “Yes.”
“You ever think about me in that big lonely bed, my cock hard for you. God, can you picture me and my hands running all over you. Would start at the bottom. Would you be wet for me, babygirl?”
“Yes, Robby, yes, I am,” you gasped out.
There was a light chuckle.
“Oh, you are?” he said with a seethe. Was he teasing the tip of himself? squeezing and thinking about your hand there instead? “You thinking about me, baby?”
“You know I am.”
Robby laughed, the sort one laughed when they knew something you didn't. It was cruel. It was mean. But was it worse you knew and liked it? “Yeahhh, I know you are.”
You tilted your head into his pillow, shifting till you could breathe him in and careful not to drool. “Thinking about- about your tongue,” you said, rubbing your clit with hard pressure, trembling with need.
“My tongue, huh?” he said, a jangle of a belt. Was he pushing away his jeans and spreading his legs further? Were you framed on the counter, between his legs how he wanted you to be? “Are you thinking about my tongue in your needy pussy? Is it making you wet?”
“Yes, yes, Robby. I really want you.”
“Spread your legs for me.”
“They are.”
He grunted. “Wider.”
Almost irritated that he wasn't here, you pushed the cover down till you knew the camera could see all of you. Still clothed. Still clad. But Robby would be able to see your hand down your black panties and how far your legs fell open.
He pretended like he heard the covers move instead of saw it happen. “Fuck... yes, baby.”
“I wish you were here,” you said, eyes kept close to imagine him and to not give the camera a devilish wink. “Wish I- your cock-”
“What about my cock?” he asked, voice strained. “You want it? You want my cock? How'd you want it?”
You circled your fingers around you, jerking at every touch, desperate to come but even more desperate to keep it going. “Want to taste it. Lick it. I- I want to know what you taste like.”
Robby shuddered. It was like you could feel it through the phone and through you. “Shit, you-you can't say things like that, baby.”
“But really want it,” you moaned. “Always wanted it down my throat.”
“Oh fuck, always huh?”
“Always.”
“Well... you've been such a good girl looking after my place for me, haven't you?” he teased. Listening closely, you thought you could hear the sound of skin on skin, the slick squelch of it. His hand working himself, maybe he was even sweating with desire. “Sleeping in my bed, just like I wanted. Living in my space. Bathing in my shower. Maybe I should thank you...”
“Please, please Robby.”
“Ah, oh god,” he strained. “Would lay you out on my bed, clean up all your mess with my tongue. Think you'd have to suck on my fingers to stop all the moaning, I have neighbours, baby-”
You didn't care as you moaned out at that.
“- god I want to fuck you. Oh, I want to fuck you so bad.”
You put your phone on speaker, set it aside and worked your hand under your shirt to grope your breast, moving from one to the other.
“Keep playing with yourself, baby, keep playing with yourself,” he groaned.
“Robby, are you- are you close?” you asked. Every circle of your clit had you closer and closer to the edge, had your legs trembling and heart pounding. You could hear Robby mumbling to himself.
“Shit- god- you're always so beautiful. Spread out, god I can picture you. Your skin so smooth, pussy so sweet. Want to bury myself in there, yeah, fuck, baby-”
“Robby-”
“-Yes baby! I'm close- I'm close, I wont last.”
“Wanna hear you come,” you whined.
“You first,” he said. “Think of me there. Press you into my bed, have you on your stomach, press allll of me into you. Cock just- just buried inside you there. Could just watch your ass go, shit, get it red.... you know how. Oh my god baby, please come for me.”
You pressed down with circles on your clit and came around your fingers, whining, moaning and you heard Robby over the phone groaning, heard his small exclamations as he came around his hand.
“Oh baby, you did so good for me, so good,” he uttered as the both of you caught your breath.
You took your phone off speakerphone and placed it back to your ear. It was small but you felt closer to him with his voice deep down your ear.
“Now clean yourself up on my bed. When I come back, wanna smell yourself there with me.”
The Pitt swallowed you up the rest of the days that followed. As if it knew you had something to go home to, as if it knew you wanted to do nothing more than talk to Robby, think about Robby, dream about Robby, it kept you so busy with late nights and six am wake up calls you had little time to live in this new found lust.
Robby didn't push. You didn't speak about that night because you didn't have to. He still texted with regular check ups when you got home. Still send random pictures of lakes or trees but he knew the demands of work and he didn't prod.
“Have we got labs back on our guy in seven?” you asked Dana.
“Not yet, want me to chase them up?” she asked.
“Please. I'm already behind on discharging two patients,” you muttered to her as Al-Hishimi walked by, head held high as she over saw the place. “But all caught up on my charting!” you said loudly to assure her.
You got a nod back and that was enough for you.
“How's Robby?”
You looked back to Dana, lips pursed, brows raised in question. “What?”
“You heard from him? I guess you had, you stayin' in his place and all,” she said, looking at you through her glasses.
You checked down to your tablet and the patients in three and twelve you needed to discharge, hoping the glow of the screen wouldn't blow up your blush. “Er, yeah, he's doing good, I-I think. We don't talk... all the time.”
“Yeah?” Dana smirked.
You glanced back up at her, catching the knowing glint in her eyes. You looked back down. “Yeah.”
“Okay then.”
Dana moved around you from the counter, patting your hand lovingly before she stopped in her tracks. “Oh. Looks like I can ask him myself.”
“What?”
There were already crowding voices, people calling out his name and nurses going in for fist bumps and high fives. There were questions about what he was doing back earlier than he said, if he'd brought back any gifts. You even heard Garcia who was passing about that promised butchers knife.
Robby stood in the middle of the group like he was some celebrity but his eyes found yours over all of them.
“He returns!” cheered Dana, bringing her arms around him.
One of Robby's own arms snuck around her back. “And in one piece.”
She pulled away and slapped him in the chest. “Hey, don't joke about that.”
Slowly, with Dana's coaching everyone moved back, got back to their jobs and their life. And slowly, Robby sauntered over to you.
You tried to look busy. Tried to wet your mouth that had run dry at the sight of him. A hip bumped into yours as Santos- an all too giddy Santos- slid up next to you.
“Looks like we're back to being room-mates, roomie,” she teased with a grin.
“If I didn't know any better I'd say you'd missed me?”
Santos tried to brush it off but you saw the way she shifted her weight from foot to foot in discomfort. She usually only got so discomforted when emotions like love was involved. “Please. Just want to out-weigh Denis with gender again.”
You smelt Robby before you heard him. He said Santo's name, then yours.
Trinity welcomed him back before she left just as quick as she'd arrived.
Robby let on the counter next to you. He was in jeans and the same coat he'd left it, his bag slung on his back with a helmet dangling off the side. He wasn't working, but he'd came by anyway.
“You're back early,” you said, flicking between patient charts.
“Surprised?”
“Very,” you said, realising you weren't as confident as you'd been nights ago. “I can get my stuff out tonight.”
“I don't want you out,” he said, dropping his voice low. “You know why I came here early, don't go shy on me now.”
“I'm not going shy,” you said, though you were.
“Are you blushing?” he teased, the graze of his knuckle brushing your neck and sending tingels over your body.
“No.”
“You are.”
You batted him away and turned to consider him. “Why'd you come back early?”
Robby wet his lips, eyes casting over you. “Because I had something to come back for.”
You eyes averted to his hands, reverting back to thinking of the coarse skin and imagining him dragging his fingers over you. “I don't get off my shift for another two hours.”
“I can wait.”
Waited he did and the two of you barley made it past his front door before he was grasping you and kissing you. There was no hesitation in his hands or your lips. He gripped and squeezed your hips as the door slammed shut behind you. Robby didn't waste a second in pulling off his jacket and grabbing you again, as if scared you'd disappear in the wind.
He didn't even glance around his place. The only thing he was honed in on was you.
Your lips worked against his furiously, hands gripping his shoulders. “How was your trip?” you were breathless, pulling away to un-button his shirt.
Robby chased your lips, eyes closed, lips curling up into a drunken smile. “Fine.” He kissed you again, mint on his tongue. His hands were warm as they traced up your scrub top, un-tucking your vest from your pants.
His rough hands on your skin woke something else in you. A need you thought you'd made friends with but clearly didn't even know. He kneaded the skin at your hips, working hard to leave red marks.
“Dreamt about you,” he said, lips trailing down your jaw to your neck, nose nudging a path. “Every night.”
“Every night?” you gasped as he bit and licked up your neck.
“Mornings. Afternoons. All the time.”
Your smiled to yourself, pushing off his shirt. “It was supposed to be a relaxing break.”
“It wasn't.”
The two of you had stumbled to his room and pulled off clothes. The both of you knew the way well. By the time you'd pushed the door open Robby's belt was discarded as well as your shirt.
With firm hands Robby turned you around till you were facing the headboard, till his hips flushed against your ass and the rough denim of his jeans rubbed against your ass.
Your head lulled back onto his shoulder and he licked up your skin.
“This where you slept?” he muttered, nipping at your ear. “This where you touched yourself, thinking 'bout me?”
“Y-yes.”
You felt the scratch of his beard as he turned his head. You noticed, from the corner of his eyes that he looked up to the corner where the camera sat. He was delighting in this.
“Show me,” he demanded.
You wriggled against him, trying to turn and set yourself on the bed.
His hands gripped your hips. “No, show me here... now.”
All you could do was shuffle down your scrub pants and panties while Robby un-clasped your bra, messaging your breasts. You groaned at the feel of him working at you while you slid a finger over your folds.
“There we go, that's my girl,” he encouraged, chin resting on your shoulder and watching. “Another finger, another finger.”
You slid two in just as you had the other night, imagining his weight on you, his hands. You thought you were wet then but now your need spread down you.
Robby made out with the skin of your neck, stretching his arm out to hold yours that worked inside of you. “God, you're so beautiful. Could watch you like this all night.”
You whined, tilting your head back to give him more access. “Robby.” You thrust your ass back into his crotch and you could feel the hard outline of his cock.
“You come in this bed, huh?” he uttered.
“Y-yes.”
He hummed into your skin. “More than once I bet.”
“Yes, Robby!”
His hand snaked down to yours, helping move your fingers in and out of you. “God, you're so wet, so wet for me.”
Your hand flew up, grasping the back of his neck. “Robby, please... can I have your fingers inside of me?”
Robby smiled against you. “You asked so nicely. Such a good girl,” he said. His fingers wrapped around your wrist and brought out your fingers, leading your hand up to his mouth. “Bet you're not always though, huh?”
Two of his thick fingers pushed into your easily and he moaned.
“Fuck baby, you're warm... tight-”
You groaned at the feel of his fingers working inside of you and his tongue licking up the mess of your on his fingers. He brought your fingers into his mouth, groaning.
In moments you were withering, a moaning mess and grinding down on his hand while his tongue swirled around your fingers, sucking and nipping at your finger pads while his beard scraped your hand.
If those cameras kept a log somewhere, you were dying to see Robby. The feel of his hips rocking into you, him moaning around your fingers.
“Can you come on my fingers?” he asked, voice muffled by where he wouldn't release you in his mouth.
You shook your head in defiance. “I want- I want more.”
“You can have more, you can have more,” he said, finally taking your fingers from his mouth and licking up them. “But you have to come first.”
His thumb pressed down on your clit in small circles and your caved into his body, coming over his hand. Robby helped you ride against his hand.
Only when your body stopped moving and your chest calmed its heaving did Robby pull away from you.
He pushed you down on the bed, ass up and dropped to his knees, shoving his face between your folds.
You cried out at the feel of his tongue splitting your fold and soaking up your arousal and orgasm. His hands spread your thighs, pulling at the skin till you were spread, till his nose ran up and down. “Oh fuck, Robby!”
“Hold onto the sheets, baby,” he said, muffled inside of you.
There was little anything else for you to do. Your hands curled around the sheets, pulling. You thrust your ass up into his face but Robby welcomed it, chuckling into you. His beard scratched between your legs, deliciously.
He slurped once before pulling back, crowding over you till all of him was pressed against you. “Kiss me.”
And you did. You tasted yourself on his tongue, on his lips. He turned you down over onto your back and you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into you till his weight was crushing you.
It could have been hours of breathing in each other, of licking into each others mouths, of sucking on each others bottom lips, of feeling each other up and mapping what made each other tingle and shake.
Robby stepped back and made a slow show of popping the button on his jeans and pushing them down slow with his boxers.
You crawled over the bed till you were at the edge, staring at his cock. There was dark hair over his chest, leading down to himself where he curved, hard up to his stomach.
Robby stared down at you, staring at him. “You want it? You want my cock?”
“Yeah... please...”
Robby stroked back your hair. “Did you think about my cock, in my bed?”
You looked up to him and smirked. “All the time.”
You took him into your mouth, slow and watched as Robby threw his head back. You could feel him tense before letting go, shoulders sagging, body melting as you slowly worked up and down his length, savouring the taste of him.
Robby kept on hand stroking back your hair tenderly but didn't push you down to his cock. He let you set the pace. “Oh my god,” he groaned as you licked the tip, circling it.
You learnt every tell of him. The tick of his jaw when you licked over him, the small pressure from his finger tips, his groans about how good you were doing that all went straight down to your core.
Whatever you'd imagined, this was better than any dream.
“Deeper... deeper.... there we go, baby, there we go... take me so good.”
You moaned around him and Robby chocked on a moan before pulling you off.
You knelt on the bed, hands running over the plumpness of his stomach. You peppered kisses along his chest as his hands pushed back your hair.
You glanced up at him, something wicked curling in your stomach as you saw him eye the camera again. “Robby...”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Were you ever gonna tell me about the cameras?”
He froze. You felt his heart pound under your hand, his eyes levelled on you. “You knew?”
“Duke told me.”
Robby scoffed, leaving you to figure Duke's visit did not capture Robby's attention over the camera's. “Duke.”
“He didn't mean to tell me... like you didn't.”
His breath stuttered, eyes peering at you like he was trying to read you. “I forgot.”
“Forgot?” your fingers curled around his cock.
He seethed in a breath. “You set the fire alarm off, fuck I saw you. Couldn't stop, but you knew didn't you?”
Your hand may have been wrapped around his cock but you didn't have the upper hand. He looked down at you with a knowing glint, his hand cupping your chin and forcing you to look up at him as you slowly stroked him.
“You got yourself off on it, put on a show for me,” he said, his fingers slowly stroking your chin. “Wanted this dirty old man to watch, didn't you?”
You swiped your thumb over the tip of his cock.
Robby seethed. “Yeah you did.”
A couple strokes later and Robby was moving away from you, leaving you to watch with wide eyes.
You watched as he pulled his phone out and set it in front of you before he climbed up on his bed behind you. Steadying himself on his arms he braced and slowly sank on top of you, the tip of himself rubbing between your folds.
The app.
The screen lit up with a HD video of you lying on the bed, Robby's body curving over you. You could see himself lowering himself into your folds.
“Fuck,” you moaned, eyeing the camera.
Robby kissed down your neck, bruises forming there. “You wanna watch yourself? You wanna watch yourself come on my cock, baby?”
You looked back at his phone. “Yes.”
“Dirty girl.”
Slowly, Robby pushed himself. He pushed in and pushed in and pushed in till he was groaning and his hips flushed yours. In the camera, you had become one.
“Ro-Robby,” you mewled.
His head comes down to your shoulder, kissing it gently as he looked down at the camera too. “Look at us, baby, look at us.”
Slowly Robby started to rock his hips, enough to set a tortuous pace.
“I watched you moan my name, while you pumped your fingers inside of you, you wanted me, didn't you?”
“Y-yes!”
Your body slowly moved with his thrusts, his arms tensing at your sides as he tried, desperately, to not give in. To not bite down on your shoulder and thrust harder. To not have his bedroom echoing with the thump of the bed and skin on skin.
“Please, please go harder,” you begged, reaching around to claw at his ass.
“Can't,” he grunted.
“Please!”
Robby's hand was firm around your neck as he leant over you. “I'll come baby, I'll come.” He thrust in deep, till you could feel the slap of his balls against your ass.
“Fuck!”
“Yeah, yeah,” he moaned, drawing the camera in closer. “You're so tight baby, taking it so well... just like I wanted you to.”
His thrusts grew faster, harder, his body plopping on yours leaving you a moaning mess. His hands couldn't settle, running over your hips, gripping and spreading the skin of your ass. He grunted and groaned and the two of you started to bounce on his bed.
“Tell me you liked me watching you,” he moaned.
“I- I liked you watching me come.”
“I heard you moan for me, in my bed.... breathing me in... you wanted me so bad.”
“Y-yes, Robby, so bad- so bad!”
Robby groaned and slid out of you, leaving you empty. He spared a minute to licking up the mess from the both of your arousal between your thighs before he turned you over, lying you flat and chucking his phone aside. He guided himself back into you and gripped your hips hard as he thrusted in.
He kept his lips close to you, brushing your lips against yours, taking your tongue as his.
“Thought of you every day,” he said, nose nudging yours. “I missed you so much.”
“I-I missed you too,” you moaned, holding his shoulders.
Your walls clamped around him.
“Arg, baby-baby-baby,” he babbled, lying his mouth flat open on yours, his tongue tasting yours and swapping spit.
A hand trailed between your bodies and ran over your clit.
“S'too-too much,” you cried.
“No it's not.”
“I can't, I can't,” you moaned, your walls tighter around him. “I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come-”
Robby bit down on the sweet spot around your ear and you released around him, back arching into him and leaving him moaning into your neck. “There we go, there we go- squeeze me, squeeze me!”
In one powerful thrust you felt his release shooting up your walls, painting you in him. His body sagged with stuttering thrusts as he spent himself.
Only once the both of you had calmed down did you catch your breath, sweaty skin on sweaty skin and lips swollen and red, bruises littering your neck.
Still inside of you, Robby reaches over and tilts your head back, the two of you grinning like love sick idiots.
“Smile for the camera, baby.”
taglist: @oldbaddies, @mafercita101, @florenceandthemechanism, (I thought you'd like to be tagged for this one!)
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“Minors DNI” doesn’t mean “kids and teenagers don’t belong in fandom.” It means “I am an adult who discusses adult topics and I do not want to discuss them with children.”
Look, I understand that there are worse things minors can do besides read smutty fanfic. And curiosity is normal. But I am a stranger, not a sex ed teacher.
I’m not babysitting the Internet. I am protecting myself. But I will give a word of advice: an internet adult stranger who knowingly has sexual/sex-oriented conversations with minors is not an adult with your best interests in mind.
