love is always possible

You never raised your voice that was the trick of it control doesn't always sound like thunder sometimes it hums like a refrigerator at 3 AM constant, low impossible to ignore once you notice it

You spoke in edited versions of me trimmed my sentences cut my laughter short replaced "I think" with your "you mean" I became a translation of myself

There were rules written invisible ink who I could be depended on your mood and I learned to read the margins better than the words

You had other volumes of speech the sigh that meant I'd failed again the silence that stretched like punishment the careful kindness that only arrived after I'd apologized for something I didn't understand

I started measuring my thoughts before they left my mouth weighing them like contraband even my jokes needed approval

And god how quiet I became

not the peaceful kind not the soft hush of snowfall but the kind of quiet that feels like being buried with your eyes open

When I left the world sounded wrong at first too loud, too wide full of voices that didn't ask permission to exist

I'm still relearning how to speak without flinching how to let my words arrive unedited how to trust that my voice is not something to be managed

Some nights I still hear you that low electric hum but now I know

FORGIVE ME AND DON’T FORGET ME.

It’s a time bomb waiting to go off. You know it’s here; it’s coming. It’s just around the corner but when? Oh, you’re suddenly sad for no reason? You had a bad thought about yourself? Well, we can’t let that go, so now you’re more tilted than a pinball table. The things you liked to do? You hate them, and you hate the things you make. You never want to make anything again. Why does anyone want to talk to you? Everybody hates you. Why bother getting out of bed?

This happens every month.

Wallow in agony over nothing. Because this is nothing right? Why can’t you just be normal like everyone else? Maybe you’re faking it. Maybe you’re just weak. Maybe this is your fault.

This happens every month.

You lay in bed. You cry. Why are you crying again? It will be over soon, right? You just have to endure until the red tides roll in, and then it’s just the physical pain. You can take that, can’t you? Yes, yes, you can take that if only you can get off of the emotional yo-yo picking you up and putting you down. Picking you up and putting you down. Picking you up and putting you down.

This happens every month.

Shouldn’t you expect this? Why are you letting this happen to yourself? Why can’t you just be happy? Careful, your mental illness is showing, and if you share too much of that, no one will want to talk to you. But didn’t we already establish that no one likes you anyway?

This happens every month.

It ends, and suddenly the clouds clear. The sun is out, and all of this is like it had never happened. Like a switch is flipped, everything is suddenly beautiful and bright again. You are fine. Everything is fine.

Hilary Duff loves a good rain moment! Roommates (2026) A Cinderella Story (2004) Come Clean (2004)

#close enough #welcome back lizzie mcguire The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003) Glamour Magazine (2026)