salud mental

Watching out into the wind the meaning...

your deepsie eyes, ancient stars.

  We RUN only to love,

only to love,

Then he got into deeper levels about myself:

My endless omnipresent need to be understood so I can unlock my potential to anyone who isn’t me.

Being defeated matters to me slightly more than a heart scratch and the time I spend to get over it (he found, -and I agree with him- that I use excessive amounts of time and harsh thoughts.) 

How my priorities aren’t worthy for this world’s pace since I’ve worked –and still do it- too much on me that I forget to find the time to share myself to other people.

But when he got to my core he had me nearly in tears.

He found the social-relationships line to be slightly deeper than anyother and was crossing both experimental and professional lines which only meant the effect of rupture between these 3. Then he got a closer look.

I detest being disloyal or dishonest to people so much that I always expect them to treat me equally.

9 out of 10 people I make contact with will betray my interests no matter how I’ve put all my faith, resources and energy and no matter how much I trusted and made them trust me.

1 out of ten won’t do the same but my real problem is being too stubborn to find and reach that someone since statistically it will only mean that I will get drained by helplessly hopeless 9 cases.

He told me that I had to start betraying 9/10 too. It’s nothing I’ll be fond of doing because what my father taught me is far from that. But I should reconsider if it will get me to a higher level of sense while I’m here struggling vs the world. So I think I should better start practicing.

Means that i won't have to keep my word and stop defending what i said or meant because it is a treat that's fading out of earth's surface and people ignore the great value behind it. Pretty sad thing to know compromising yourself to others means hardly a thing now.

1.- I was able to witness somebody else’s aura for the first time. Dunno if it was because i’ve been reading about the matter and training my eyes or because it was quite evident and everybody could see it. The background was plain gray and when she moved her body it seemed liked the aura would slowly follow her head wherever she’d took it. Dreamy. It was yellowish and i’d give my black cap to anyone if i was able to get closer to her.

2.- I fell onto a pretty girls legs on my way to city’s downtown. I picked the window side seat and then she took the one aside. When my bus stop was near i got up but she wouldn’t do the same, instead she just moved her legs towards the little bus hall. Pretty bitch. The moment i was walking thru the seats, the bus driver decided to put hella pressure on his right foot and i was obviously dragged back and fell onto her. I smiled and apologized and she smiled back. I became best friends with the pretty bitch for more than 3 secs. I was on a rush so couldn’t start a less-awkward-conversation than the more-awkward-situation we just had.