Damon Salvatore

               "absorbing magic? you have to be kidding me, damon? where do you lot find these mythical creatures?“ taking the glass, he sloshed around its contents for a long moment before taking a sip. ” coincidentally, i had the two most powerful witches ever born after my family, and i bet you can guess which family they came from, can’t you? after all, our favorite kind of war is civil war.“ wetting his lips, he glanced up at the crow, a gaze ALMOST empathetic in nature. "it seems you’ve become quite skilled in it. what happened to not being a hero, damon?”

                       " nonexistent seems like a common theme as of late                          although i cannot say for sure that i’m upset about it.                          ah, witches this time? don’t tell me miss bennett has,                          at long last, plotted her revenge upon our species. it                          would cause me to lose all hope in humanity.“

            his smirk is just as playful, nodding in response to the offered drink.

                        ” i would appreciate one, yes. i do believe that we’ve                         reason to celebrate. no kingdom means no tyrants,                         does it not? at least in my case.“

       “ what       NO ??? why the fuck would i put eggs on a grocery list i made ??? like does it look like i can cook? christ. ” airi shouted irritably, snatching the list from him.         “ first of all ; poptarts, slinkies,  and  tampons  are  all  entirely  NECESSARY to the human life OKAY.  second of all… don’t tell me you  don’t   think  glow  in  the  dark  frisbees  or  a 12 pack of giant gumballs  wouldn’t be awesome, because then you’re just a LIAR. ”

                                    “i decided i’d rather come and tear down yours.                                  relax, i’m only kidding, salvatore. however, it does                               seem as though yours may need some - RENOVATION.                                           waging wars without us, are you? do tell.