SAGE ⚸

REASON ONE: we are both incredibly socially anxious

if you really pay attention to his body language and how he speaks to others, he is a very anxious boy. one gigantic note is the locker room/shower room scene where he talks to neil about a study group, my guy was fidgeting so much. another important note is when neil asks him about the club and at first doesn’t want to go because he thought he would have to read poety aloud but then neil accommodates him which is really cute. i don’t like talking to people. i love social isolation. i don’t like being around the functioning human population. school drains my social battery so much. i hate people. people scare me. i think i need a diagnosis.

REASON TWO: we are both incredibly depressed

he always looks so sad and anxious in the presence of his parents or when his parents are mentioned. even in the opening scene of the movie he looks so mad. the scene of his birthday when neil throws the desk set he sits there all depressed and sad and just is overall feeling negative emotions. i’m always sad and stuff. i rot in bed all day and post on this silly little blog. something is just really wrong.

REASON THREE: we are both in love with neil

that boy is in love. how they look at one another isn’t just them being dude bros. the scene after neil’s death is a crazy example of this. all while the other poets are obviously upset and are grieving the loss of their friend, todd straight up runs outside, literally pukes because he’s that upset, and runs into the snow while screaming his name. it’s such a heartbreaking thing to see, and it shows how hard todd took the loss. they were secret boyfriends, todd told me himself. neil is so pretty and cool and we’re technically the same person. i love robert sean leonard as well.

it’s my birthday.. another year of existential dread !!!!