catch me whispering.

“what?” evan spat out, shaking her head. “no, NO, that’s not....i just don’t like feeling vulnerable. i don’t like feeling like i need someone. and...i don’t know. you’re the only thing that’s made me actually smile in forever.”

“yes,” evan replied, frowning. “i feel...weak. stupid. like...like the things i’m sure of aren’t so solid anymore. and i fuckin’ hate that feeling.”

taylor: well i guess that’s okay taylor: at least i’m good for something!!

taylor: nooooooo :( taylor: you need me so u look more badass  tayor: compared to me, you look like catwoman or something

“my flight leaves at noon tomorrow. so...we have twelve hours to mark as much of these off as possible. are you in?”

taylor: is this swag??

taylor: thats what everyone thought about makeup too taylor: until maybelline came along and blew that wide open taylor: y’know...maybe its maybelline? taylor: ...i see what you mean

“i notice you.” she said gruffly, avoiding any eye contact yet again. “too much. all the fuckin’ time, alright? and then i pretend i don’t because i don’t–– i don’t like feeling the way i feel when i look at you.”

taylor: when will you teach me how to be as cool as u

taylor: ur just not trying hard enough

taylor: built in blanket. love it.

“i mean-- i know that,” he laughed nervously, his eyes wide at her question. “meet in the middle? what, uh, what do you...want?”

evan’s eyes cast down, her lips pressed together. didn’t she realize? laughter diffused tension-- and evan’s entire existence was full of it. when she spoke again, though, evan’s eyes shot up to meet hers. “that’s a problem?”

“i was, yeah. weren’t you wearing, like, a backwards baseball hat?” she chuckled. “that was one of my first parties, y’know?”

“well i didn’t MEAN to,” she said defensively, brows furrowing in confusion. the words he was saying fit with the noah she knew, but the tone in his voice was different-- like he actually cared about her reply. “you didn’t, though. right? you never do, with anyone else. that’s what you pride yourself on, isn’t it?”

even let out a choke of a chuckle, shaking her head. of course she’d seen that. why would anything in her life be made easy? she thought to lie, to say it was just someone from class, but mariah deserved more than that. but what could she bring herself to give her? “we’re not...exclusive.”

“DON’T.” the word slipped out, but evan meant it. she always played tough, telling herself it kept her safe, but in reality it just kept her lonely. mariah was finally calling her on her bluff, and even though her pride was getting bruised, the threat of really losing the girl was too much to let slide. she opened the door further, unable to actually meet her eyes. “just...come in.”