i've been watching this conversation for the last couple days and love all the takes being shared. as someone on the group side of tumblr rp, it's so interesting to me to see that this problem of rpers feeling ignored and sidelined even in indie and yet... i'm also not surprised.
i've been in my group for a good few years now. it once was a large group but it's gotten smaller in the last couple of years as rp hoppers and ghosters have dropped out. we all prefer it that way tbh as we're all in the 30+ crowd and we've adapted the group to be relaxed and casual to fit our needs. we still attract new folks too, which is nice!
obviously a group rp is different from indie in that this is a "private" community that thrives from the members all interacting with each other. it's great in the sense that it can be less overwhelming surrounded by a smaller pool of rpers all working with the same plot and world for those like myself that appreciate structure and guidelines.
however, it's very important that the members all write with and prioritize everyone equally.
it's easy to clock the long-time indie writers in a group rp because once they find their favorite ships and partners, the rest of the group is sidelined into secondary characters in their stories. i've been one of those a few too many times to count. if my threads (whether they were new interactions or long-term connections) with these rpers weren't dropped entirely, they'd come back to me after a month or two while i'm seeing them churn out multiple replies back and forth to their favored partners/ship threads. i've also seen these kinds of rpers refuse to answer any open starters (unless they came from their favorites or connections) and even had an instance where two rpers A and B had a plot in mind for their characters and rper A went to their good friend rper C for the same plot without informing rper B about it.
all this, by the way, is what creates an exclusive –– sometimes even toxic –– clique in groups that ruins the vibes.
in a group, this behavior isn't condoned due to how groups work. in indie, there aren't any rules aside from common human decency and respect. it sucks to feel like you've wasted your time on a ship you're excited about and it's dropped because your partner found something shiny and new they're more interested in. it sucks to be dropped entirely without any communication about it. it sucks to feel like you're not as important to a partner.
it'd be nice if everyone in this hobby communicated properly with each other. that "you don't owe anyone" mentality is right in every instance, i feel. if people only want to write selectively with their favorite partners, they're allowed to do that. if people who've been burned don't want to write with a partner who's dropped them for "higher priorities," that's also okay. it's also okay for people to feel hurt or annoyed by others' actions. i don't think anyone's wrong for customizing their own rp experience so long as no one's causing any genuine harm by like sending hate or bullying or doxxing over it.
well said, thanks for your input!
a lot of these problems would be solved if people just communicate actually, so if you don't see yourself being able to commit to plots with several people, fine, just don't keep people hanging and you just gotta rip the bandaid off by breaking mutuals with those you no longer see yourself write with? because chances are they're just sitting around waiting for something eventually. of course there could be rpers out there who are genuinely okay with just being a silent mutual/follower, but i'd rather not assume everyone is like that. let's just have some basic decency to each other tbh, majority of us are adults here and this shouldn't be a hobby where we get upset by things like this :(
