here have some AUs as if there aren't enough on your dash already
âi came to the gym to work out but holy god i canât stop watching you do one armed push ups thatâs so hotâ au
âthis is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions weâve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but thereâs a huge fucking spider in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help meâ au
âyouâre the only delivery person who gets to my house in any semblance of the word fast which is why i keep requesting you but you donât believe me and tease me constantly about itâ au
âokay i get it youâre a great thief and donât want to go to jail but iâm the exhausted af detective thatâs assigned to catch you i stg if you let me bring you in so i can sleep iâll get you a good dealâ au
âokay i get that there are no seats left in this cafe but like i am trying to read here no you cannot have this chair my feet are using it thank you very much please get out of my face nowâ au
âmy parents moved me halfway across the world when we were twelve and before that we were best friends but now iâm back and moving in across the hall from you so hi?â au
âiâve been travelling a lot and somehow youâre in every single city i go to seriously what the fuck who even are you how are you doing thisâ au
âweâve been nothing but friends for our whole lives but then we played seven minutes in heaven on a dare and now i think i might actually be in love with youâ au
ângl i thought you were the weak one of this friend group but your whole life just went to complete shit around you and somehow youâre still acting the same so if you want to be weak you can be around meâ au
âmy guitarist quit the night before the gig that could mean the big break for a band that i have put my soul into and supposedly youâre really good but i swear to god if you screw this up for me i will hunt you down and slit your throatâ au
âit seems weâre the only two people in this class that actually know what the fuck is going on want to team up for this project and ruin everybodyâs livesâ au
âwe started arguing about which hogwarts house this one character would be in and we completely lost track of time and now youâre demanding i take you out to dinner is this a dateâ au
âiâm the private investigator that was hired by your ex to track you down and you totally caught me sitting outside your apartment in a rental car so hi what upâ au
âi came to check out this support group but things have kind of been majorly sucking lately and you were there and i didnât even know anything was wrong but weâve known each other for months what givesâ au
âiâm the lawyer helping you get custody of your daughter and oops youâre all kinds of adorable with her and also i think sheâs growing attached to me is this good or badâ au
âi meant to text the contact one above you in my phoneâs contact list for a booty call but i didnât realize i hit your name until i sent it so now iâm just sitting here feeling those little three dots hardcore judging meâ au
âwe started dating after months of sexual tension between us but then you moved across the country so now weâre trying to figure out how to make this brand new relationship work long distanceâ au
âso not to be rude or anything but iâve been coming to this cemetery at this time on this day every week for fucking years and iâve always been alone up until now seriously what the hellâ au
âitâs the middle of the night and iâm walking home alone in the dark and thereâs this guy following me and heâs starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i donât even know you but help meâ au