does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person
wow

Discoholic 🪩
trying on a metaphor
cherry valley forever

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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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Not today Justin

he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@indestructibleannajay
does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person
wow

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once my friend made a drink he called turpentine that tasted like every worst college night out rolled into one and felt like getting whacked in the head with a hammer, and I woke up in my own apartment with my phone wallet keys clothes and absolutely zero memory of the night before, and when I checked my watch I'd walked over 60k steps.
60k steps in the middle of the night in heels for reasons entirely unknown to me. what was I doing. where did I go. where did I come from. cotton eye joe. or whatever.
people are theorizing what happened so here's what I know:
the club we went to closed at 2am and 45kish steps were after 2am, meaning I wasn't still dancing at the club. we got there at 11:30pm. I don't know when we left.
none of us had any charges on our cards or venmos after getting into the club and none of us were missing cash
we all woke up with all our things and no injuries except some bruises (to be expected from a night out)
I woke up smelling like salt water which would make me think I'd ended up in the ocean(??) except my hair was still straight, none of my things were water damaged, and I was completely dry
from our camera rolls we know we were all together until around 4am, but not where we were because they're all too dark to see, which is fucking weird because we live in a city with tons of lights all night
I didn't wake my roommates up when coming home, managed to take out my contacts, cooked mac n cheese, and passed out on the living room floor
me and everyone else who'd been wearing heels had crazy blisters
my friend found a bunch of rocks in his pockets
two of my guy friends were wearing each other's shirts when they woke up (in their separate apartments)
we all got back to our apartments around 6am which we know for a fact because we all texted pictures of ourselves being home safe to the group chat, so being unbelievably hammered didn't stop us from having enough common sense to make sure we were all okay
if we'd been able to sherlock holmes together what happened it'd just be a funny night out but the fact we all have no fucking clue means we have conspiracy theories about it. and we don't let my friend make turpentine anymore.
OP went dancing with the 12 dancing princesses pass it on
everyone go home this guy solved it
positive image: a portrait of gay america (1985) by stephen stewart
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Semifinals (1/3)
James (Pokémon)
Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Semifinals (3/3)
Stanford Pines (Gravity Falls)
Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

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Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Semifinals (2/3)
Gomez Addams (The Addams Family)
Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)
Stanley Pines (Gravity Falls)
Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt
free the nipple has to make a resurgence for a number of reasons but bro look at our upcoming eternity of wet bulb temps youre smoking straight up cock if you think im keeping a shirt on when it hits 105° in new england
everyone tits out with a parasol is such a beautiful world to imagine that the fact it doesnt currently exist fills me with equal parts fire and misery
I just ate one
You can lie when you name things

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Congratulations on the cat
Google AI Overview court loss in Germany could spell doom for AI search industry.
"Google AI Overview court loss in Germany could spell doom for AI search industry."
It fucking better.
Like to charge, reblog to cast?
On TODAY'S episode of "I Think Google Used the Wrong Picture", we have this masterpiece of a thumbnail
Except I clicked on the article and was proven wrong!! Google DID use the right picture! The full image is somehow even better
I don't live in Massachusetts but I hope this one wins
My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian
its like ive never seen herbivore
i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away
Rat detected. Make him jiggle.
Holy shit I assume everyone is doing an up and down jiggle and maybe a side to side jiggle but if you jiggle your phone forward and backwards he jiggles in and out, too

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have i ever shown u people my hand sofa
my prized possession is this loveseat I bought from a divorced dad who couldn’t tell me anything about it and in the years i’ve owned it i’ve never been able to find out who made it or where it came from. it’s got nails and finger creases and palm lines but they’re all kinda hard to see in this pic.
i’ve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.
as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”
small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.
i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.