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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@incorrecttwoprincequotes
Enemies: Give it up Joan. We have your girlfriend.
Joan: I don’t have a girlfriend.
Enemies: Then who is this girl who is insisting that the stableboy is going to make a move on some girl and they are an... OTP?
Joan: Oh God, they have Cecily.
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Rupert: Porridge, why you so obsessed with my bandaid.
Porridge tries to eat bandaid
Rupert: No, it’s not a candy. There’s no candy in there.
Porridge bites bandaid
Rupert: AHHHH
Percy Jr: Okay let's be real. Slow cookers are the shit~
Percy Jr: Because, if you use a slow cooker and you're making food and you die. Then the people that run along and find your body have a nice meal lovely meal to eat when they find you.
Barabbas: And the best part is that they can also eat what’s in the slow cooker. Isn’t that great!?
Percy Jr: No-
Malkia: Hey I bought your soul last month.
Percy Jr: Returns aren’t acceptable.
Malkia: No, please. It’s making me sad.
Rupert: Day 23 in the chamber. They haven’t found me yet, but when they do they gonna be surprised.
Amir: *Laughs*
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Cecily: Listen here. Boobs are superior!
Amir: Take that back, you UNCULTURED SWINE!
Cecily: It’s the truth and you know it!
Amir: ASS REIGNS SUPREME!!!!!
Rupert: What about thighs?
Cecily: True.
Amir: Yeah.
Barabbas: You know you’re talking a lot of shit for someone with two perfectly good eyeballs, each priced at about $762 on the black market.
Rupert: *Concerned prince noises*
Chad: Friendly reminder, if you like to be called baby girl and oof is in your vocabulary. You probably like to be choked.
Rupert: . . .
Rupert: Why the FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT!? WHY DO YOU THINK THAT!?
Rupert, quietly to himself: Is that a thing?????
Percy Jr: Do I have tooooooo?
Joan: Well, technically, you never have to do anything.
Amir: Except die.
Rupert: Not if you kill the Elder Gods!
Cecily: Field trip!
Chad: Can we focus on what’s important?
Chad: Me.
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Porridge: *Snort*
Rupert: You sly bastard, I would have never thought of that.
Lavinia: I’m sorry, can he actually understand that dragon or is he just messing with us?
Joan: Knowing him, it may very well be both.
Barabbas, to Chad: Just don’t do anything I would do.
Barabbas: And definitely don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
Barabbas: There’s just a little gray area in there, and that’s where you operate.
Barabbas: I have flaws. what are they? I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time doing charity work.
Barabbas: Occasionally I’ll try to eat someone. So sue me.
Joan: Why did you think that was a good idea?
Percy Jr: The question you should be asking is, did it work?
Joan: Well, did it?
Percy Jr: . . .
Percy Jr: . . .No.
Joan: Then wHY THE FUCK-
Sorry for being so sexy, I don't know what's wrong with me.
Chad
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Rupert: Barabbas sneezed earlier and I accidentally said “Shut the fuck up” instead of “Bless you.”
Amir: ...How does that even happen?
Joan: Cecily, did you eat mu powdered donuts?
Cecily: No.
Joan: Then what’s that white powder on your dress?
Cecily: That’s cocaine.