Theo: Corey, this is how you get a date.
Theo, texting: were going to dinner tonight
Stiles, texting back: WE'RE* going to dinner tonight
Theo: And there you have it.

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@incorrectsteoquotes
Theo: Corey, this is how you get a date.
Theo, texting: were going to dinner tonight
Stiles, texting back: WE'RE* going to dinner tonight
Theo: And there you have it.

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Stiles: What are you hiding. What's your secret?
Theo: I'm in love with you.
Stiles That's not a secret!
Corey: I don't think he likes you.
Theo: Look at those come-hither eyes he's giving me.
Stiles: (squinting at Theo suspiciously)
Malia: (cries)
Stiles: Hey, what’s wrong?
Malia: Otters float with their babies on their stomachs to keep them warm and dry.
Malia:
Malia: I think I need to see a therapist.
Stiles: Can you give me a ride?
Theo: You can ride me anytime.
Stiles: Never mind, I’ll walk.

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Theo: My plan to win Malia over is to use the strongest tool at my disposal-
Theo: My sexuality.
Stiles: Shut up or I’m gonna kick your ass.
Theo: Don’t threaten me with a good time.
Dread Doctors: What is your plan for the McCall pack?
Theo: I’m gonna kill Scott, and all his friends are gonna love me.
Dread Doctors: What are the logistics? Why would they love you? What are the details here?
Theo: I said, I’m gonna kill Scott, and all his friends are gonna love me.
Theo: Whatever will we do to pass these five, long hours together-
Stiles: (puts on noise cancelling headphones)
Lydia, trying to grab her purse: Stiles, can you move? You’re on my strap.
Malia: Yeah, he’s really good at that.

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Stiles: (catches feelings for Theo)
Stiles: (throws them in the garbage where they belong)
Sheriff: Tell me just one thing you remember about my son.
Theo, wistfully: He punched me in the face once.
Stiles: You’re not going to tell anyone about us, right?
Theo: I don’t kiss and tell.
Theo: You may wanna cover the hickey on your neck though.
Theo: That speaks for itself.
Theo: My name is right in the center of your board.
Theo: That’s so sweet.
Stiles: You can’t prove I wrote it.
Theo: It matches the rest of your writing.
Stiles: Oh, so now analyzing handwriting is valid?
Malia: (knocks an enemy out)
Everyone else: (applauds)

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Stiles: (sets Theo’s mugshot as his lock screen)
Stiles: Ah, my beloved.
Stiles, walking through the tunnels: Theo, when you said you knew a great underground spot this isn’t what I pictured.