Incorrect Sesame Street Quotes

Rocco: *inside a restroom* Zoe: My friend's in there! Elmo: ...Congratulations. *much later; Rocco is still in there* Zoe: It's his first time on his own! Elmo: Once again, congratulations.

Bob: So, what exactly is Ernie to you? Bert: The reason I wake up every morning. Bob: Aw, that's nice. *earlier that day* Ernie, while Bert is sleeping: RISE AND SHINE BERT-

Elmo: Zoe, Zoe's friend is a rock. Zoe: Yeah, thanks, I know. He's got nerves of steel.

Kermit: See? I'm being an investigative reporter. Kermit: My job is to INVESTIGATE.

Mr. Johnson: Alright, that's it, I'm reporting your name to the manager! Grover: The manager already knows my name.

Ernie: I'm bored, any suggestions? Bert: Sleeping is nice! Ernie: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I'm deciding to ignore it.

Bert: *trying to get five minutes of sleep* Ernie: *standing over Bert while poking him* Ernie: Bert. Bert. Bert. Bert. Ber- Bert: What? Ernie: ...We're all out of Capri Suns.

Bert: Ernie! Our space heater died! Ernie, lip trembling: ...The sun?!

Ernie: Bert just texted me back "lmao" from the other room. Ernie: I hear no laughing. Ernie: I’m friends with a laugh liar.

Bert: Numbers don't lie. Number 4: I'm the number five!

Ernie: What if the G in gif is silent? Bert: Go to bed. Ernie: What gif I don't want to? Bert: Oh my god.