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Zhangjing: Why does everybody always assume Xukun has a plan? Maybe someone else has a plan.

Xukun: Good. Go ahead.

Zhangjing: Oh. That was just hypothetically.

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Chengcheng: I made a marshmallow Xiao Gui. See? His arms are crossed because he’s mad at marshmallow Chengcheng for annoying him. You like it?

Xiao Gui, choked up: It’s fine.

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Zhengting: Wow! Today I had 800 mg caffeine, exercised for two hours, literally ate 80 pizza rolls and took a long, relaxing bath. The line between self-care and self-destruction is a fine one, but boy, do I walk it hard.

Ziyi: I’M BEGGING YOU TO STOP!

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Xukun: They tell you to sleep on your problems, but what if you problem is INSOMNIA?

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Zhangjing: Go fuck yourself.

Yanjun: Fuck me yourself, coward.

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Xukun: I just realized that never is a contraction of "not ever."

Yanjun: And blush is a contraction of "blood rush."

Linong: And studying is a contraction of "student dying."

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Chengcheng: Hey you know I took French in high school.

Justin: Oh yeah? Say something in French then.

Chengcheng: J'ai toujours eu envie de te prendre dans mes bras et de t'embrasser.

Justin: What did you say?

Chengcheng: I said that you’re dumb and have the smallest dick ever.

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Xiao Gui: When I first met you, I did not like you.

Zhengting: I’m aware of that.

Xiao Gui: But then you and I spent some time together.

Zhengting: Uh-huh?

Xiao Gui: It didn’t get better.

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Yanjun: [Pulls door but it doesn’t open]

Xukun: You gotta push it.

Yanjun: Really? Thanks, my next option was to lift from the bottom.

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Zhangjing: [Screams seeing a spider]

Spider: The STABILITY of that note was phenomenal. Now I don’t major in music but that was SURELY an E5. INCREDIBLE vibrato.

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Manager: We’re gonna be making some major funding changes this year.

Chengcheng: [Raises hand]

Manager: Your Club Penguin membership will still remain active.

Chengcheng: [Lowers hand]

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Ziyi: When I said bring me back something from the beach, I meant like, a shell.

Xiao Gui, struggling to hold a seagull: Well you didn’t say that.

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Linong: Remember when you said you weren't going to interfere with my love life?

Zhengting: No, that doesn't sound like me at all.

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Chengcheng: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?

Xukun: You're a hazard to society.

Zhangjing: And a coward. Do twenty.

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Ziyi: I’ve never actually been in a snowball fight.

Justin: Really?

Ziyi: I don’t even know the rules. Is there, like, a point system? Or is it...to the death?

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Zhangjing: I hate going to the kitchen and finding out I’m the only snack in this house.

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Chengcheng: What if ducks threw bread back at you?

Justin: You'd have to duck.

Zhengting: I hate you both.

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incorrect nine percent quotes