Where Nothing Makes Sense At All

“item sniper” is throwing a non-honing item (ex: green shells and bananas) at an opponent and it hits them in one shot

anyways credit is appreciated, but not required

Teen Wing: Can I bother you for a second?

Rakumo: You’re always bothering me, but go ahead.

Mari: WHO THE FUCK—

Lance: Whoa, language!

Mari: I speak fucking English!

Lance: ...

Mari: So I’ve been thinking, Lance—

Lance: That’s dangerous.

Vicky: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

Inei: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

Inei: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Vicky: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

Rakumo: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated!

Teen Wing: Killed without hesitation.

Teen Wing: How stupid do you think I am?!

Rakumo: You really want an honest answer to that?

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Teen Wing: I regret nothing!!!

Rakumo: I regret everything!!!

OG!Kid Wing: *shatters a window and climbs through it*

OG!Kid Wing: *turns around and helps Karakumo through it* Breaking and entering is wrong, Karakumo.

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there are three new mercs I have in mind, and the posts above are ideas of their personalities, but this is the gist of the trio (may change in the future):

• The Virtuoso (She/Her) is an offense merc from Rome, Italy. A grim perfectionist, she is on the run from a controlling family who are hunting her down. Virtuoso had difficulty expressing her musical passion, but once she became a merc, she begins to show positive traits outside of her grim persona. She fights with sonic weapons that can emit powerful and ear-bleeding sound waves.

• The Excavator (She/Her) is a defense merc from Casablanca, Morocco. She used to be a street urchin, but was adopted by a wealthy family who runs a large-scale fossil industry. But Excavator hunts on her own since her methods are far to risky and extreme for professional archaeology teams. She also searches for precious gems and trinkets, and tends to overdecorate. The Excavator fights dirty....literally, with a drill weapon, a chainsaw, and a large amount of small traps.

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the “idiots” the pilot mentioned are the other mercenaries

Pilot, teaching Medic to drive: Okay, you’re driving and Heavy and Chemist walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Medic: Oh, definitely Chemist! I could never hurt Heavy.

Pilot, massaging his temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

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Heavy: If I didn’t know better, Beastmaster, I’d say you were scared.

Beastmaster: *forced laugh* Heh, scared?

(absolute silence)

Beastmaster: DID YOU HEAR THAT?!

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Scout: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.

Scout: *glares at Beastmaster*

Beastmaster: Well, sorry I have morals!

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Soldier: Pilot, I sense hostility!

Pilot: Good, because I hate you.

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Chemist: Guess what I'm about to get!

Spy: On my nerves.

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Soldier: Hi—

Pilot: Leave before there's a terrible misunderstanding between my foot and your ass.

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Chemist: I’ll be famous one day, but for now I’m stuck in this house with a bunch of morons.

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