Osomatsu: I think we should actually get jobs now.
Ichimatsu: This is so sad Todomatsu play despacito.
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@incorrectmatsuquotes
Osomatsu: I think we should actually get jobs now.
Ichimatsu: This is so sad Todomatsu play despacito.

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I guess I've always known we shared deep feelings, but sometimes, it's hard to see what's in front of you eyes.. I love you, man.
Karamatsu talking to himself in the mirror
Totty: Choromatsu, can you explain compound interest to him? [Referring to Osomatsu]
Choro: Hm…maybe, if we had an infinite amount of time…and he were someone else
Ichi: Ehh I guess there is sort of a dark edginess to it…. Like….. One of those…. Crayola crayon Halloween packs….
Oso: That is your standard for dark edginess?
Ichi: I don’t know I’m just trying not to bring the group down here-
Jyushi: You only help to lift me up you sweet and sour misunderstood shadowling.
Ichi: (inhales as if about to say something)…. What????
Karamatsu: I am a genie, you get one wish.
Osomatsu: *snaps* Menopause.
Karamatsu: But you’re a 20+ year old man.
Osomatsu: You can never be too careful.
Karamatsu: …

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Jyushimatsu, while the boys observe their “bad future” versions: What do I do to end up like that?
Karamatsu: That’s tragic. That is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. …what happened to my butt? You could park a plane in that crease!
Jyushimatsu: So what if you’re fat and greasy? That’s what happens when you get older. Look at me - I’m a giant blob of custard!
Karamatsu (sarcastically): Self, self, self, self, SELF!
Give me money. Money me. Money now. Me a money needing a lot now.
Osomatsu
Chibita: Alright listen up you shitty NEETs.
Karamatsu:
Chibita: Not you Karamatsu, you’re an angel and we’re thrilled to have you here.
Kinko: Cute! With the names, and the colour-coded outfits… is that, like, your thing? You’re all exactly the same?
The sextuplets, in unison: Hah! No way! We’re all unique snowflakes!
Sextuplets: …well, THIS usually never happens… this is really weird!
Sextuplets: Okay, stop talking!
Sextuplets, still in unison: …antidisestablishmentarianism.
Sextuplets: Seriously? GAH!
Choromatsu to Hatabou: You call this happiness? Surrounded by toadying lackeys and paid sycophants? You call this contentment? You know, I stand here now and I look at the two of us, and I ask one simple question: Who is the rich man? You, with your fifty-eight houses, your private island in Hawaii, your multi-billion yen business empire - or me, with… with… with what I’ve got. …it’s you, isn’t it? Yes, it’s all very clear to me now. You - richer and happier. …I should have thought a bit harder about that speech, really. I cocked it up a bit, didn’t I?

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Choro: The Sun does not revolve around the Earth. Rather, the Earth revolves around the Sun.
Totty: Hah! That’s ridiculous. Everyone knows that everything revolves around me.
Todomatsu: Come on, niisan, you gotta sacrifice your life! I’m not asking you to do anything I wouldn’t do!
Choromatsu: You? You’d sacrifice your life for the good of this family?
Todomatsu: No, I’d sacrifice YOUR life for the good of this family.
Ichi: Hot Kool Aid?!
Kara: I can put some ice on it if you like.
Ichi, taking a sip of his own drink: No, I’m not thirsty
Kara: Brother!
Ichi: I’m not gonna drink it!
Kara, whispering: I made this for you.
Ichi: No!
Kara: I MADE THIS FOR YOU!
Ichi: Well I’m not drinking it!
Choromatsu: I’m not teaming up with him.
Karamatsu: Me? What’s wrong with me?
Choromatsu: You’re totally egocentric, you flee at the first sign of trouble, you only look after number one, you’re vain, you’re selfish, you’re narcissistic and you’re self-obsessed.
Karamatsu: You’ve just listed all my best features.
Oso: Oh please! You wouldn’t hurt a fly!
Chibita: You’re right. Because a fly is an innocent creature who never knowingly did anything to anybody.
Chibita: You, however, I would maim.

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Kara: Heh…. I can fit the whole world into the palms of my hands
Chibita: That’s impossible you- (Karamatsu cups Chibita’s face in his hands)
Chibita:
Chibita, voice cracking: I have a reputation
I'll always miss my 90 gb of hentai. No it's not gone, I just haven't looked at it for 3 hours.
Osomatsu