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Noah, to Tyler: Is your name Ariel? Because we were mer-made for each other!

Maddie, handing the phone to Mellany: It’s your girlfriend. Mellany: I’ve told you a million times! Sarah is not my girlfriend! Mellany, on the phone: Hi, babe!

Noah ( @spacebunboi ): My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do? 
Rachel: Punch him in the stomach, then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him. 
Tim: Tackle him. 
Some dumb anon probably: Dump him. 
Mike: Kick him in the shin. 
Tyler: NO TO ALL OF THOSE! JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN!!!!

Noah: Evan, do you you have spirit? Evan: Yeah, Noah! Noah: Jeff, do you have spirit? Jeff: I have spirits Noah: what *Cuts to Jeff, inhabited *

Noah: Alright Evan, you're on speaker. Behave Evan: Or what? You'll spank me?

Habit: "The first time I heard an adult say the f word was when I was in fourth grade and we were doing some project that involved us baking cookies together as a class. My teacher Ms. Olivia, who was real sweet, was demonstrating for everybody and she asked if anyone knew how to crack an egg, and I really didn’t know how to crack an egg, but I’m a go-getter, so I raised my hand and she called on me. I instantly knew I was in trouble at that point but I’d seen my dad crack eggs hundreds of times so I figured, ya know, it can’t be thaaaat hard. So I grab the egg but I have no sense of how softly you’re supposed to tap an egg to crack it, so I just slam it against the desk and splatter raw egg ten feet in every direction and my teacher said “what the fuck, Habit?" "

Olivia: What are you gonna bring to christmas dinner? Charlotte:My negative attitude and sparkling personality

Mellany: flowers! kittens! pretty skies! calming landscapes! Evan: knives! cemeteries! blood! ghosts! horror!

Evan: self care is not getting stabbed Mell: where? Evan: just in general

*Tyler and Evan are on a hike* Tyler: Man, it's beautiful out here today. I love Mother Nature! Evan, out of breath: MOTHER NATURE'S A WHORE.

Random college kid: Dude are you a real punk or a fake punk? Tyler: I, um. I-I don't care? Kid: *turns to his friend* Dude he said he doesn't care that means he's a real punk hi I'm Ray nice to meet you

Jay: one of these days im going to say the F word. then youll be sorry

Evan: you fuckers don’t know about my punch stab gun

Tyler: Anyways here’s Wonderwall