meiniang fucks everything up

Rui'an: Wow Your Highness, are you sure your hairstyle isn't too heavy?

Zhinu: When you said “magical in bed” this isn’t exactly what I exp-

*whenever something bad happens*

Meiniang: Can we just talk about the giant elephant in the room?

*during Princess Gaoyang's and Meiniang's epic confrontation*

Zhangsun Wuji: Hey Wu Meiniang did you fall from heaven

I’m pretty sure there’s more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

Zhinu: Aww, you're cute when you get angry.

Xiao Qiang: You said you had a plan for killing Meiniang.

Consort Wei: Hey, how was your day?

Zhangsun Wuji: How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend? Simple: The rules for girls are the same as Gremlins. Rule number one: Never get them wet. In other words, don’t let her take a shower in your place. Rule number two: Keep them away from sunlight—i.e., don’t ever see them during the day. And rule number three: Never feed them after midnight. Meaning she doesn’t sleep over, and you don’t have breakfast with her, ever.

Meiniang: You know, you're never going to get a husband by being sarcastic.

Why can’t a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?

Do you know what people say about you? They say you are a less hot version of me.