Rias: I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say? Akeno: Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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@incorrectdxd
Rias: I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say? Akeno: Just start quoting WAP lyrics.

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Irina: WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO??? Rossweisse: COSTCO IS MAGICAL Xenovia: I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Akeno: Take me to Art Museums and make out with me…
Issei: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.
Akeno: Well, someone’s gotta pin the artwork to the wall…
Koneko: President! Those idiots are trying to do it in the East Wing again!
Rias: [reading instructions] "Roast the chicken for 25 minutes, or 30 minutes if you have large breasts." ... Rias: Better do 30 minutes.
Kuroka: I can't sleep... 😏
Vali: I can. Goodnight.

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Akeno: Google, please stop showing me sex ads. I know there are desperate sluts in my area; I have a mirror.
Raynare: My red flags are big, but so are my boobs.
Issei: Fuck you! This isn’t a ritual! This is terrorism!
Raynare: [scoffs] Isn’t that a popular word these days…?
Issei: What? “Fuck?”
Raynare: No, Issei. “Terrorism!”
Irina: Don’t break anyone's heart! They only have one!
Xenovia: Break their bones, they have 206 of them.
Azazel: Hello, Raynare. Make anyone cry today?
Raynare: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.

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Vali: Send dudes.
Kuroka: You mean nudes?
Vali: I'm in a fight. I need more men.
Rossweisse: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Azazel: You're like 20 years old... Rossweisse: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!!
Issei: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. Rias: Wasn't Akeno with you? Akeno: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
Rias: Stop right there! We’re here to stop this senseless destruction of our town!
Kokabiel: 92.
Rias: This has gone on for too long, and now, you’re going to pay!
Kokabiel: 355.
Rias: We are- What are you-
Kokabiel: Oh don’t mind me, please go on.
Rias: And... We are the ones who will stop you!
Kokabiel: Oh wow. 419.
Rias: That’s it, what the hell are you doing?!
Kokabiel: Oh sorry, it’s just a little hobby of mine. I hear these heroic speeches so wearily often that I’ve started making a mental list of how many times I hear certain lines.
Rias: You- You insane bastard!
Kokabiel: 190!
Issei: Yeah?...Well we’re going to... f🤬k your face!
Kokabiel: Oh my... 12.
Issei: 😡

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[while training in the mountains]
Issei: What a week, huh?
Tannin: It is Wednesday, Red Dragon Emperor.
Riser: If I hear "Wonderful Christmastime" one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.