the miracle never happen

von Karma: You think you can just bully people, but you can't. It's not okay. I'm the bully around here. Ask anyone.

Franziska: Kay, can I talk to you for a second? Kay: Yeah, what's up? Lemme guess. You and Maya are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Franziska: What? No, stop that! I know how to kiss. I've read books.

Larry: Honestly, when I think about spending the rest of my life with a babysitter, she's kind of a cute blonde named Erica, and she always has pizza money and lets me stay up as late as I want. Maya: How old are you in this scenario?

Kay: Wow, I think I really would have gotten along with young Miles Edgeworth. Edgeworth: Yes, that's why I decided to change everything about my life.

WOKE: realizing that this means you can self-indulgently headcanon your favorite character as having the same birthday as you without anything stopping you

Larry: No, there's no one in my life. *wink*  Larry: Sort of a sad thing to wink about, I realize now.

Phoenix: I am straight-up depressed. Edgeworth’s been doing his best to cheer me up. He gave me a sticker this morning just for waking up. Apollo: Ew, it’s like you’re dating your teacher. Phoenix: I know, it’s so hot.

Larry: How much could I possibly owe you? Fifty, sixty bucks? Edgeworth: Two thousand, four hundred and thirty seven dollars. Larry: DOLLARS?! Wait, of course dollars. Why was that the part I was surprised by?

Edgeworth: When I die, please give Wright my regards. Yew: What should I tell him? Edgeworth: Regards.

submitted by @theartistformerlyknownaspsu

Kay: I know this isn't my place to say, but Lang is here to see you. Edgeworth: Actually, that's exactly your place to say. You are my assistant. What, precisely, did you think your job was? Kay: Ideally, bull fighter, but it's such a boy's club.

Phoenix: How much did you spend on this date? Larry: $1,400. But all of it’s on credit cards, so it’s like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

Edgeworth: Lang, I'm not going to discuss my home life with you. We're not friends. We're not family. You're not my husband. Lang: That's hurtful. I thought we had a special bond. I was your secret santa last year. Edgeworth: And I already thanked you for the "Who Farted?" baseball cap. Lang: But you never wear it.

Phoenix: Our second option is footage of Franziska von Karma soliciting drugs using perfect grammar. von Karma: It's not that weird to say, "May I have some cocaine?" Phoenix: It is.

Gumshoe: High ceilings, three bedrooms. Why does every perp have a nicer apartment than me?