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Amethyst: Sounds gay.

Pearl: I am gay.

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Steven: My allergies have let up and I can finally breathe again!

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Lapis: A water a day keeps the depression at bay.

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Blue Lace Agate: What’s this?

Peridot: That is a plant.

Blue Lace Agate: What type of plant?

Peridot: That is a wet plant.

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Pearl: Do I look like I’ve been around?

Amethyst: Do I look like I pay attention?

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Pearl: I’m still older than you.

Amethyst: Shut up, let me have this.

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Lapis: How are you doing?

Peridot: Dead. I melted.

Lapis: What happened?

Peridot: Heat happened.

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Peridot, loudly, in the middle of the night: UWU

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Steven: I mentioned that I felt like I’d eaten too much sugar and I might just grab some fruit for dessert and my dad gave me a whole bag of pistachios and I was like “this is far too much power” and then I burned the sandwich I was grilling.

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Peridot: I was sitting alone and realized I’m a walking shitpost.

Lapis: We all are, we’re gay.

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Peridot: Why the fuck is it raining, the sun’s out!

Peridot: WHY IS EVERY ROAD ON A HILL?

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Peridot: Anyone who is currently in “Florida” feel free to challenge one of my shadow forms located at your local refueling stop!

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Pearl: What happened?

Garnet: Everything. All at once.

Amethyst: Ya saw the fabric of time, huh? Happens to the best of us.

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Pearl: That’s bad for you.

Amethyst: Come on, it only tastes faintly like death!

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Peridot: I’m in bed, I don’t want to sit up!

Lapis: I said sit down.

Peridot: I’m in bed, I can’t sit down.

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Peridot: Cool, new electronic screen!

Peridot: I’ll get a green protective casing for it tomorrow.

Peridot: If they don’t have green protective casings I’ll eat a hat. This is a threat.

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Jamie: Delivery for… sacred mistress of all that is unholy?

Lapis: Oh cool, my pillow pet. Where do I sign?

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