What do you mean this isn't canon

Diana: Oh no no the headmistress!! What is she going to think when she sees Akko like this with ME?

Diana: I don’t know what to do. I’ve never done this before.

Diana: No, this is a crayon-

Akko: I’m calling the police! *akko types 9:11 into a microwave*

Amanda: See, I always told you, ya make a fine garbage disposal, Stanbot.

Jasminka: Amanda, be nice.

Croix: Hey, gorgeous, want to go home with me tonight? 

Chariot: Croix, we live together… 

Croix: …So that’s a yes, then? 

Sucy: I have have a potion that will defeat that monster but I need you to buy me some time.

Akko: How much time?

Sucy: Five minutes and considering how that monster almost killed both of us….. Naw I’m sure you can handle it.

Akko: Wow you really have that much faith in me?

Sucy: Yeah sure why not.

Akko: Well than here goes nothing.

*Akko charges the monster and gets beat up*

*A few months later Akko and Sucy are facing a monster even stronger than the one before*

Sucy: Got any ideas?

Akko: Just one I can beat it with the Shiny Ark but I need time to charge it. You will have to destact it well I gather magic.

Sucy: Well that’s not so bad.

Akko: For about five minutes and considering how bad that monster was kicking my butt…Naw I’m sure you can handle it.

Akko: Hey what’s up.

Diana: I need your help can you come here?

Akko: I can’t I’m buying clothes.

Diana: Alright well hurry up then get over here.

Akko: I can’t find them.

Diana: What do you mean you can’t find them?

Akko: I can’t find them there’s only soup.

Diana: …what do you mean there’s only soup?

Akko: It means there’s only soup!

Diana: Well then get out of the soup aisle!

Akko: Alright you don’t have to shout at me!

*Akko goes to the next aisle*

Akko: There’s more soup.

Diana: What do you mean there’s more soup!?

Akko: There’s just more soup.

Diana: Go into the next aisle!

Akko: There’s still soup.

Diana: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW!?“

Akko: I’m at Soup!

Diana: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AT SOUP!?

Akko: I’m mean I’m at Soup!

Diana: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?

Akko: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!

Diana: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE!?!?

Amanda: Diana, couldn’t you have just said "Where’s Akko?“ like a regular human being? Is it that difficult to speak normally?

Akko on the phone: Mom, I was wondering, after I graduate, is it okay if I go to London? …Yes, don’t worry Diana will be with me.

Akko on the phone: Mom, when I go to university, can I stay in the dorms? …Yes don’t worry Diana will be with me.

Diana in the background: There will be Lotte, Sucy and the rest of our friends to

Akko on the phone: Mom, when I graduate from university, I want to get married …Yes don’t worry because I will marry Diana.

Croix: Yeah, yeah. Just remember, if Chariot asks, I took you wine tasting.

Akko: That's a horrible thing for a adult to do!

Chariot: *rolls up newpaper* Croix… stay still…

Hannah: O is for the Only One I see

Barbara: V is for Very extraordinary