Quotes, just quotes

Majima to himself: When other people are vulnerable, it's beautiful; it's weird when you do it. Your real personality is classified. You put a lot of work into this; now we're gonna have to rebuild your whole persona from scratch.

Majima: Quick tip on how to be a menace. If someone is hitting on you and you don't like it, tell them your name is your ex's new partner's name, and then give them your ex's number. Start problems, not relationships.

Majima: If you think I'm annoying now, just imagine if I could play the banjo.

Majima: This is your Captain speaking, if you don't calm down there's going to be a giant fucking problem

Majima: I hate when people are like 'you gotta be nicer, you're gonna burn bridges' bitch I'm serious about my crazy. I will burn this bridge when we are both still standing on it, I know how to swim.

Majima: It's always 'you should be nicer to people' and never 'thank you for not throat punching someone today' and I think I should be shown more appreciation for that

Majima: I don't know who needs to hear this today but if you're stuggling with motivation just remember that broke crackheads still find a way to get high. Don't get out husstled by a crackhead.

Majima: Fucking bold of you to assume these are my real teeth

Majima: I'm gonna be productive today, it's a good morning, I'm gonna get shit done. It's hot as fuck out here. Fuck this. I'm day drinking.

Majima, holding a baby—his baby: Was at the pediatrician's office getting a check up for this little guy here right, and the nurse asked "Are you comfortable with an anal thermometer?" and I replied with "Hey, let's focus on the baby." and then we proceeded to wait in the exam room for over an hour. I don't know if they were just busy or if that one was on me...

Majima: Well I'm off to defend Noah, I mean I'm sure he did exactly what they said and that he probably learned it from me, but I gotta stand up for him, that's my boy.