Totally Correct DoTU Quotes

Lotor: (maniacal evil laughter) Now DIE!

(The laser goes over the people's heads)

Hunk: Oh my god it missed!

Lotor: Fuck you moon you never had the cheese I wanted!

(The laser blows off part of the moon)

Hunk: Oh. Well that wasn't very nice... I-I think this will have some kind of effect on the tides or something.

Allura: Did we ever establish our names? Hi, I'm Allura!

Merla: Nice to meet you. I'm Merla. Ow.

Allura: Sorry for hitting you so much. It's just part of the narrative.

Haggar: Faker? I think you're the fake one around here. You're going around being an asshole? I mean that fits me but die.

Pidge: I'll make you eat those words!

Haggar: Perish.

Pidge: Happy April Fools!

Lotor: OH MY GOD! That's it, I'm calling the police! 911-

Pidge: I AM THE POLICE!

Lance: I can't believe your tits are only one polygon.

-End flashback-

Merla: Well, ten years have passed and I still feel the same way, Allura.

Allura: You still wanna pee in a Hot Topic?

Merla: Yes, Allura, thank you for listening to my insane ramblings about peeing in a Hot Topic.

Allura: Listen, I'll take you to a Hot Topic.

Merla: Finally... A place to release myself.

Allura: I know you've been holding it for so long.

Lotor, coming in: What are you two fucking talking about?

Allura: Fucking your wife again and peeing in a Hot Topic. Because, y'know, what else to do on a Saturday night?

Merla: I peed on your wife, Lotor. She's mine now, that's the law.

Lotor: What the actual shit? WHAT?!

Sven: Please do not taser yourself. Your muscles may convulse and “lock up” and you will not be able to stop tasering yourself, possibly leading to heart failure. Be responsible and find a close friend to taser you instead.

Hunk: But what if you were adopted? 

Allura: I’m not up on the whole genetics thing, but, if you’re adopted you still have biological ancestors, right?

Keith: How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso? 

Sven: I- I’m sorry? 

Keith: A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso? 

Sven: Oh. Uh. Well, it’d be I suppose… I only have a button for a Quad. I don’t have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single… drink.

Keith: Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that? 

Sven: *deep breath of fear* It’d be a quad with *clears throat* uh, sixteen additional shots.

Keith: I know they had cocaine, you can stop telling me. I don’t think you guys know what coke does.

Keith: Was informed I left out the best part of this 3 am experience which was the bit where I, in tears, gestured to our dog and shouted, “I don’t know what this is!”

Lance: Bruh, you astral planed so hard you fell back into a past life.

Hunk: They got crossbred with sheep. 

Lance: Excuse me? WHAT?!

Hunk: Yeah, farmers wanted to get pork and wool from one animal so they crossbred them.

Pidge, a few seconds later: I. Forgot to give context for this. 

Keith: What context could you possibly give that would make this any better? 

Pidge: My cat is an aggressive toe biter and she will stop at nothing to attain the experience of feet in her mouth.

Lance: Just get a pair of roller skates and hang on to my sleeve, we don’t have all day.

Keith, shouting from the other room: THERE ARE EIGHT PLANETS!

Lance: VIVA LA PLUTO! FUCK YOU!

Hunk: Not kink shaming, just wondering what about feet makes them so attractive to some people. 

Sven: That must be something from the US, here in Norway we’re more into metres.

Allura: Well, you weren’t here from midnight until six researching it. 

Hunk: No, I was sleeping.