Incorrect-Crossover-Quotes

Ruby: Well, it's always pleasant to see you, Kim!

Ben: Plus, since your villains are a total joke, we'd be taking it easy, even if something happens.

Kim: ... The rest of you can stay. You. Get out.

Steven: Ben's right about one thing, though. We could do with a bit of a break.

Kim: That's why I invited you to come shopping with me. Nothing relaxes me like getting a little something for myself.

Steven: And what a vast selection this store has! There's camping supplies, instruments...

Ruby: Bedroom decor, comic books...

Ash: Action figures of us...

Ben: Video games... I'm sorry, what?

(The group looks at a toy aisle to find themselves in articulated, plastic form.)

Kim: Oh, yeah. Some weirdo has been making dolls of me when I started hero-ing. I guess they found out about you guys.

Steven: This... feels illegal.

Ben: I'll say! They got my hoodie all wrong! And they painted the Omnitrix just one color! Talk about pathetic.

Ash: I have some pokèmon action figures in my room, but seeing one of me is kinda... creepy.

Ruby: Tell me about it. I don't get why someone would want one of-

(Ruby sees that her figure comes with a tiny foldable Crescent Rose.)

Ruby:

Ash: Yeah, go ahead.

Steven: You've traveled most of your world, right?

Ash: Yep!

Steven: And pokemon trainers usually start when they're 10, right?

Ash: That's usually how it goes, yeah.

Steven: Cool, cool... So how old are you?

Ash: I'm 10-

Steven: HOW?! TELL ME HOW?!

Kim: Oh, are we finally having this conversation?

Ruby: Yeah, I didn't want to bring it up, but I'm super confused, too.

Ben: Yeah Ash, spill. Unless your world is the size of a small country, there's no way that should work.

Ash: ... I'm sorry, what are you guys asking me?

Kim: How in the world could you possibly travel most of your planet, and still have time for outrageous adventures, all under a year?

Ash: Oh, that's easy. I didn't.

Ruby: ... Ash, what are you saying? Of course you did.

Ash: No I didn't. That's ridiculous.

Ben: But... Didn't you start your journey when you were 10?

Ash: Yeah.

Kim: And you're still 10 now?

Ash: Yeah.

Steven: Then you absolutely did everything in under a year.

Ash: No.

(Everyone stares at Ash in confusion)

Ruby: Guys, I think he's finally taken one too many Thunderbolts to the face.

Kim: Ash, what you're saying isn't possible. How on earth could you be the same age after more than a year of travel?

Ash: Time gods, wish magic, and multiple resurrections.

(Continued stares of bewilderment)

Ash: ... I'm going to go make a sandwich.

Kim: What makes it so special?

Ben: A lot of memories, Kim. Plus, they literally have a smoothie for everyone!

Ruby: Oh yeah? Well, since smoothies are made of fruit, I'll bet they won't have-

Ben: The cookie dough and marshmallow smoothie? That's the number 24.

Ruby: ... Touchè, Tennyson.

Steven: Ooh! The All Fruit Rainbow smoothie sounds good!

Ben: Steven getting the Pride exclusive choice, of course.

Ash: I'll take two apple and ketchup smoothies. One for me, and one for Pikachu!

Ben: Excellent choice!

Kim: Ugh. Ben, this place is disgusting. I'm not eating at a restaurant that serves liquefied meat and fish.

Ben: How dare you! Mr. Smoothie is a place that prides itself on it near limitless options! Just give it a try!

Kim: ... Fine, but just to shut you up. I guess I'll take the daisy and tangerine smoothie.

Ben: I knew you'd come around!

Kim: ... Hmm... Okay, it's not bad. However, I can't place that other flavor. What is the daisy part in this supposed to be?

Ben:

Kim: ... No... No, no. You can't liquify a flower!...

Ben:

Ruby: Oh, yeah. It's just a little harder to use Crescent Rose effectively in an enclosed space, is all.

Ash: Really? Then why were you so insistent on using it?

Ruby: Because she's my baby! I built her myself! That's like asking why you're always sending Pikachu into battle!

Ash: That's fair, but I still know when to utilize my other Pokémon from time to time. You know, explore other options?

Ruby: "Other options"? ... Hmm... other options...

(One month later)

Ben:

Steven:

Kim:

Ash:

(Everyone stares at Ruby as she tears through Grimm with a rifle/axe, explosive projectiles, a jetpack with miniguns, and Crescent Rose all at once.)

Kim: ...Well, congratulations, Ash. You've created a monster.

Ash: Oh, Arceus, what have I done.

Steven: Remind me never to introduce her to Bismuth.

(Everyone else is face down on the ground)

Kim: ... You're all kidding, right?

Ruby: You... You're not human...

Steven: ... I can't feel my soles...

Ash: (Unintelligible gurgling.)

Ben: How... how can you still be walking?!

Kim: Guys, come on. We do a lot more intense stuff than that in the field.

Steven: That's when we're fighting for our lives! You did that to us for fun!

Ben: I told you, she's sadistic...

Kim: Ben, you're an athlete! How are you not more used to exercise?!

Ben: I've never kicked a ball for an hour and a half straight, you drill sargent!

Kim: How pathetic. You can beat a intergalactic warlord, but you can't handle a treadmill. The savior of the universe, everyone.

Ash: (More unintelligible gurgling)

Kim: Hey! I know you're sore, but there's no need for that language!

Kim: You know what?! I was going to treat us to lunch after our workout, but if you're too tired-

(Everyone picks themselves up, their bodies cracking with every movement.)

Kim: Yeah, that's what I thought. Come on.

(Everyone walks away, except Ash.)

Steven: Uh... Ash? Aren't you coming?

Ben: ... Okay, first of all, hello Ruby. Secondly, screw you too, I suppose. Third, what are we talking about?

Ruby: Your secret identity!

Ben: ... Ruby... I don't have that anymore.

Ruby: I'm surprised you had one at all, to be honest! You're a disgrace to superheroes!

Ben: Okay, Ruby, calm down. I wasn't that bad with my secret identity-

Ruby: That time you turned into Greymatter in the middle of a supermarket, which would definitely have had security cameras?

Ben: W-Well, I-

Ruby: Or the time you immediately trusted Kevin with your secret, even though you knew him for just a couple hours?

Ben: Wait, how do you-

Ruby: Not to mention the fact that you have a tendency to scream a catchphrase before you transform! As if the giant green flash of light isn't attention grabbing enough!

Ben: ... I regret introducing you to Gwen.

Ruby: Don't change the subject, Tennyson! You hold no respect for the rules of the secret identity!

(Kim, Ash, and Steven walk in)

Kim: What's all this about secret identities?

Ruby: Oh, it's just that Ben here was the only one of us with a real alter ego, and he acted like he wanted his secret found out!

Ash: Wait, are we supposed to have secret identities?

Kim: No, Ash. That's just for vigilantes and comic characters.

Steven: Ruby is right, though. You were incredibly sloppy with your cover, Ben.

Ben: Oh, don't act like you know anything about having a secret identity, Steven! Everyone in that small town of yours knew you!

Ruby: Yeah, no offense, but maybe stay in your lane, Steven.

(Steven hides a small tiger mask and dollar sign necktie behind his back.)

Dr. Animo: Welcome, one and all... to the NEW NEGATIVE TEN!

Dr. Drakken:

Shego:

Jasper:

Bluebird:

Neo:

Shego: Uh... You do realize that there's only six of us, right?

Bluebird: Technically seven.

Dr. Drakken: Yes, I can't help but think you didn't fully think this through. Where's the villains for the kid with the rat?

Dr. Animo: I invited them. I wonder where they are?

(Meanwhile, in Pallet Town)

Jessie: "Dear Team Rocket. You are cordially invited for a gathering of villainy and vengeance. Please respond at your soonest convenience. Signed, the brilliant Dr. Animo."

Jessie: Well, this is interesting. I wonder if James and Meowth are interested-

Deliah: Oh, Jessie dear! I'm ready for our trip to the park!

Jessie, crumbling up the letter: Yes, sweetie!

(Back with the New Negative Ten)

Dr. Animo: Nevertheless, with our combined forces, and superior numbers, we shall no doubt crush our enemies new alliance! What say you, fellow villains?!

Neo:🤷‍♀️

Dr. Animo: Uh... Okay, I'm not entirely sure what to take from that.

Neo:🤦‍♀️

Dr. Animo: ... That's going to be interesting to deal with. Anyone else?

Jasper: This is a complete joke.

Bluebird: I'm afraid I must agree with the brute. Our elite presence is wasted on you clods.

Jasper: ... That sounds weird coming from someone who isn't her.

Dr. Drakken: And what exactly do you bring to the table, Animo? I'm by far the better evil scientist!

Dr. Animo: Don't flatter yourself, Drakken! We both get beaten by teenagers, but at least my nemesis is an actual planetary threat! All it takes to stop you is a backflip and a naked mole rat!

Shego: Hey, Creepiest Pet Shop! The only green skinned person who gets to talk to Dr. D like that, is me!

(The New Negative Ten breaks out into a big argument)

(Meanwhile)

Ben: Hm... It's been pretty slow, lately.

Kim: Yeah. Kinda suspicious, isn't it?

Ruby: Yeah... Anyway, you guys want to go get something to eat?

Steven: Yeah, I could eat.

Ben: Oh, yeah! The Olympics are the best! People pushing themselves to the limit in order to bring home the gold! You can't beat it!

Steven: I didn't know you were such an Olympics fan, Ben.

Ben: Oh, definitely! Before I got the watch, it was my dream to play baseball in the Olympics!

Kim: I know what you mean. People always tell me I should compete in gymnastics, and I must admit, I've been tempted!

Ash: Wow! It must be something special if you two are agreeing!

Steven: It sure seems like an honor to be part of such an important event.

Ben: Yeah... it's too bad the life of a hero got in the way.

Kim: Hey, chin up. You're still going to be remembered for amazing feats!

Ash: Yeah! I mean, how many of these guys could toss a car, or run 10 miles a second! As far as I'm concerned, you got everyone here beat!

Ben: ... Thanks, guys. That's really nice of you to say.

Steven: We're not just saying that. We mean it. Right, Ruby? ... Ruby?

Ash: Wait, when was the last time we saw Ruby?

Ben: I think it was right before they announced the Olympic shooting event-

(Ruby walks up to the group, wearing a gold medal)

Kim: ... Uh, Ruby? Where were you?

Ruby: I... I don't know. I overheard some people discussing the scopes on their gun, and the next thing I remember, I'm standing on a pedestal getting handed a medal.

Ben: ... Well if it's that easy to compete-

Ben: Ruby, I already told you, I'm trying to save up!

Ruby: You're buying pieces of cardboard, how expensive can they be?

Ben: Ruby! As a fellow geek, I'm disgusted you would even ask such a thing!

Steven: What are you guys talking about?

Ben: Ruby's trying to "borrow" some money from me.

Ruby: It's a genuine investment! You think Crescent Rose repairs herself?!

Steven: Wait, I thought Huntsmen were a recognized profession. Don't you get paid?

Ruby: Well... my school got a bit destroyed before I graduated... and I kinda left before I was officially licensed, so... I'm technically a vigilante.

Kim: Well, looks like you gotta get a real job.

Ruby: Oh, that's gonna suck!

Steven: It won't be so bad!

Ruby: "Not so bad"?! I'm a 16 year old who went to a school that exclusively taught me how to build and fight weapons to slay monsters, and I have crippling social anxiety! Who in their right mind would hire me?!

Kim: True. Maybe I could put in a good word for you in my gadgets department?

Ruby: I guess. It seems like my only choice, at this point.

Ash: Hey everyone! What's going on?

Ruby: Oh, just trying to find a solution to my money problem.

Ash: Oh, do you need some money? I can lend you some, if you need it now.

Steven: Ash, you have money?

Ash: Of course I do.

Ben: You're 10. How much could you possibly have?

Ash: Guys, you do realize Pokémon trainers get paid with every battle won, right?

Ruby: ... They do?!

Ash: Yeah. Excluding the money I need to feed my Pokémon, and the bit I send to my mom, I still win hundreds of dollars with every win.

Steven:

Kim:

Ben:

Ruby:

Ash: ... So, what job are you considering?

Kim: Hey, guys! What are you doing in here?

Steven: Oh, we're just watching Ruby play this new game she bought.

Ruby: Yeah! It's called "Small Town Life"! You make little people, and dictate their lives!

Ash: It's really fun! It also kinda reminds me of the time my friends and I were shrunken down, and put into a little doll town by a psychic lady!

Kim: Putting that weirdness aside for later, doesn't this seem a little domestic for your tastes?

Ben: Oh, forgive us for wanting some slow, wholesome fun in our action-packed lives.

Ruby: Besides, I love seeing a tiny me and my tiny friends get up to cute, funny hijinks! I could watch a whole show of that!

Kim: Well, it does seem pretty fun, and- Wait... what is little me doing with little Ben?

Ruby: Hm? Oh, that-

(Everyone looks to see little Kim proposing to little Ben.)

Kim:

Ben:

Steven:

Ruby:

Ash:

Kim: ... This game is bugged

Steven: ... I think I need to avoid your home for my mental health.

(The conversation is interrupted by Kim, walking in while wincing and rubbing her side.)

Steven: Woah, Kim! Are you okay?!

Kim: Yeah, I'm fine. Shego just got a lucky shot in, is all. Nothing some ice and a little rest won't fix.

(Kim shambles away.)

Ruby: Wow... You know, I kinda always forget how vulnerable Kim can be in battle, sometimes.

Steven: I know what you mean. Her whole defense is flipping out of the way of attacks.

Ruby: If only we could do something about that. If only... If only...

(A couple days later)

Kim: Ugh. Post recovery soreness is the worst.

(Steven approaches with a large wrapped box)

Steven: Hey, Kim! I got you a little something!

Kim: Aw, Steven! How nice!

Steven: Go ahead and open it!

Kim: Alright! Let's see here, it's... armor?

Steven: Made by the greatest smith I know!

Kim: That's thoughtful, Steven-

Ruby: Kim! I also got you something!

(Ruby presents a pair of batons, which shift into revolvers)

Kim: Woah, Ruby! Did you seriously make me a new weapon?! That's... odd timing, with Steven's gift...

Ash: Hey, Kim! I wanted to do something nice for you!

Kim: Oh? What is-

(Ash dumps a bunch of pokéballs on a table in front of Kim)

Ash: Go ahead! Take your pick! You'll never have to fight alone, ever again!

Kim: ... Guys... Is this because I got hit?

Steven:

Ruby:

Ash: ... Would you believe a 'no'?

Kim: Guys, come on! I'm a highly trained combatant, and master of acrobatics! So I got a bad hit, that doesn't mean I need overprotecting-

Ben: Hey, Kim. Heard you got your butt handed to you, so I called in a favor from a buddy. Have fun.

(Ben tosses Kim a set of keys)

Kim: Wha-... No... You didn't...

(Kim rushes to a window to see an orange car parked outside. With the push of a button, the car becomes armed with many different alien weapons)

Kim: ...Humuna... humuna...

Ben: Now, what were you saying?

Ben: Ah! Oh! H-Hey, Ruby! How's you?!

Ruby: ...Fine? Are you okay?

Ben: Yep! Yep, totally cool! And chill! I'm chool!

Ruby: I see... What were you looking at on your phone?

Ben: Nothing! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll continue looking at nothing in the other-

(Ruby dashes over and snatches Ben's phone from his hands.)

Ruby: Yoink! Now let's see here...

Ben: RUBY, NO-

Ruby: "As Ben transformed into Fourarms to lift up Y/N, he cradled them close against himself with two arms, while using his third to brush their hair away from their face. The air grew thick with tension as he staired intensely into their eyes."

Ben:

Ruby:

Ben: ...So, I can explain-

Ruby: You're reading fanfiction about yourself?!

Ben: Hey, I didn't know what that was when I looked myself up! I was curious!

Ruby: This is... Wait, you look yourself up?

Ben: Not nearly the point! Look, you can't tell anyone about this!

Ruby: Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.

(20 minutes later)

Kim, dying of laughter: "And yet, despite Rath's great fury, the alien shapeshifter couldn't help but still find peace from Y/N's embrace, evident by the loud purring that fill the room."

Steven, holding back chuckles: Oh, wow! I didn't realize Ben's fanbase was so... creative!

Ruby: Okay, so I may have told them!

Ben: ... That's it. I'm going Upchuck, and eating Crescent Rose.

Ash: Hey, guys. I just looked up your names online. What's an "Omegaverse"?

Kim:

Ash:

Ben:

Ruby:

Steven: ... What is this?

Ben: Steven, why don't you sit down?

Steven: Okay...?

Kim: Steven, you know that we love how selfless you can be.

Steven: ... Hold on... Is this a-

Ruby: We just think that you should take some time to take care of yourself.

Steven: No! No, no, no! Screw you and your intervention! I refuse to hear this from all of you! Half of you died for other people!

Ash: Just because you're right, doesn't mean you're right... Wait-

Steven: Plus, are we not supposed to be heroes?! Last time I checked, worrying about others is part of the job!

Ben: Steven, you had a panic attack when you ate Ruby's cookies.

Steven: BUT THEY WERE HERS!

Kim: Look, all we're asking is you take some time off.

Steven: No way! I'm going out there, I'm going to help whoever needs help, and there's nothing you can say to make me change my mind-

Ben: Kim, get Connie on the phone.

Kim: Already on it.

Kim: Ruby, that's... That's horrible! How can your society normalize child soldiers like that?!

Ruby: Eh, it gave us important survival skills. Besides, you're one to talk, miss "international high-school super agent".

Kim: Hey, that's different!

Ruby: Oh, yeah? How? You were, what, 13 when you went on your first mission?

Kim: Y-Yeah, but it was only because of an accident! I just did that to help!

Ruby: Sure, but then you got good at it, and then you started getting hired to leave school in order to travel the world and fight psychopaths.

Kim: W-Well... Okay, fair enough.

Ruby: Plus, when you think about it, Ben dropped out of school to join the Plumbers, and Steven inherited his mother's war, so they're in the same boat.

Kim: Wow... we all were child soldiers... I can't believe I never realized...

Ruby: Well... I wouldn't say all of us...

(Ruby and Kim look over at Ash, who's making a big Scooby Doo style sandwich.)

Kim: Oh yeah... I guess Ash wasn't really indoctrinated into anything.

Ruby: Nope. Ash just kinda wanders.... fighting random people he runs into... gaining a reputation for beating strong opponents... constantly getting involved in the business of evil organizations, cults, and gangs...

Kim: Okay, this is obviously a mimic, right?

Steven: Yeah, I'm getting that feeling, too. Can I attempt to use Vicious Mockery?

Ben: Sure, but only if you don't sing it. We only have so much time, Steven, not every action needs a song.

Steven: But I'm a bard! Why do I bother playing as a bard if you won't let me shine?!

Ruby: Well, since that's off the table, might I suggest a more explosive approach? Namely via a rocket launcher?

Ben: Wait, where are you keeping a rocket launcher?!

Ruby: Seriously? You allowed an artificer to have a bag of holding, and you don't think I'm going to use it for rocket launchers?

Ash: Hey, just so you know, I do have advantage on animal handling, if anyone wanted to try that.

Kim: Ash, I respect you wanting to try the peaceful route, but I don't think our party needs a mimic on top of your 8 other animal companions.

Ash: ... It wouldn't hurt.

Kim: Look, just let me take care of this. I'd like to spend a Ki point to use stunning strike.

Ben: ... Alright. Your strike lands, and upon hitting rotten old wood, the chest breaks open to reveal various treasures.

Steven: Oh... well, I guess we were all worried for noth-

Ben: However, the sounds of breaking wood echoed through the halls of the dungeon, alerting the Tarasque to your location. Everyone, roll initiative.

Kim:

Steven:

Ruby:

Ash: ... Can I roll for animal handling?

Ruby: Wow! I never get tired of stories about your grandpa! He's so cool!

Ben: I know. I've always looked up to him, even before I got the Omnitrix.

Steven: I think it's really cool how you were able to follow in his footsteps.

Ben: What can I say? Heroism is in the Tennyson blood! Much like our skills, adventurous sides, love of alien women, good looks-.

Kim: It's too bad the one thing you didn't get from your grandpa is his humility.

Ben: Actually, the one thing I didn't get from grandpa Max, is his appetite. Every time I see him, he's always trying to serve me something like meal worms, smoked sheep tongue, live insects-

Kim: Ben, those are all normal foods from other cultures. Don't be insensitive.

Ben: Still, I will never understand his choice of food. My pallette is way more normal.

Ash: Hey guys, I'm back! And Ben, here's that Honeydew and barbecue sauce smoothie you asked me to pick up.

Ben: Thanks Ash!

Ruby: 😨

Steven: 🤢

Kim: 🤨