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Tav: Gale texted me “my love, I am intoxicated”, and then five minutes later, Astarion sends me a photo of him, passed out, phone in hand, and zoomed in on one of my selfies

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #incorrect quotes #bg3 tav #tav #tav x gale

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Tav: hey guys, how do I ask someone out?

Shadowheart: roses are red, violets are blue; guess what, my bed has room for two

Tav: OH DEAR GODS NO

Karlach: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car

Tav: STOP IT

Astarion: row row row your boat, gently down the stream; merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream

Gale: I feel like that last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #incorrect quotes #astarion #tav #karlach #shadowheart #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 tav

Tav: I just got stabbed in the lung

Astarion: LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

Karlach: SHITTTTTTT LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO

Gale: guys, Tav got stabbed in the lung

Astarion and Karlach: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Shadowheart: wait what, did you actually get stabbed

Tav, actively bleeding: yeah, in the lung

Astarion, Karlach, and Shadowheart: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

Wyll: guys, this is serious

Astarion, Karlach, and Shadowheart: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lae’zel: LEGGO MY EGGO

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #incorrect quotes #astarion #tav #karlach #shadowheart #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #wyll ravengard #lae'zel #and that’s how tav died of blood loss #bg3 tav

Tav: having a demon boyfriend would be so great because you could hang your shopping bags on his horns and hold hands while buying groceries

Lae’zel: you could just wear a backpack

Tav: I want a demon boyfriend though

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #incorrect quotes #tav #bg3 tav #lae'zel #wyll x tav #raphael x tav #bc I know the fanbase

Lae’zel: Gale, why does your bucket list have ‘Die’ on it?

Gale: So I can die feeling at least a little bit accomplished.

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #lae'zel #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale

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Wyll: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Karlach: We have three, actually!

Shadowheart: Pick your favorite.

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #wyll ravengard #bg3 wyll #karlach #shadowheart

Karlach: Yeah, I'll smoke a joint tonight, but let's not get too crazy.

The party proceeds to get arrested for blocking the road in large traffic cone costumes

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #karlach

Shadowheart: So, what's it like living with Durge?

Gale: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Shadowheart:

Gale: I love them so much.

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #shadowheart #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #bg3 durge #durge #dark urge #gale x durge

Karlach: You don't think I can fight because of my gender!

Gale: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Astarion can fight in that dress either.

Astarion: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #karlach #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #astarion #btw Karlach is in a wedding dress bc it’s her wedding day #;p

Tav: I may be stupid.

Wyll:

Tav: Oh, did you think I was going to finish that sentence?

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #wyll x tav #bg3 tav #tav #wyll ravengard #bg3 wyll

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Astarion: We need to open this locked door. Shadowheart, give me your credit card.

Shadowheart: Here.

Astarion, pocketing it: Thanks. Gale, break down the door.

#it was one of those doors that can’t be lockpicked #like the one in the Gauntlet of Shar #incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #shadowheart #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale

Durge dies in a game with ships

Gale: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us.

Gale: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury.

Shadowheart: Legend has it that Durge still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks.

Durge: Of course I do.

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 durge #durge #durge x gale #dark urge #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #shadowheart

Karlach: Thank you for not saying "I told you so."

Gale: When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it.

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #karlach #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale

Tav, texting: Don't worry, I have your phone! Text me when you're gonna come get it!

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 tav #tav

Astarion: I can never give Wyll shit because I’m jealous of him. He looks at his life and say, “Sweet! This is perfect!”

Astarion: I look at my life and say, “Welp. Time to get drunk.”

#same #incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion

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Astarion, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion

Gale: Why would you give a knife to Durge?!

Lae’zel, shrugging: Durge felt unsafe.

Gale: Now I feel unsafe!

Lae’zel: I’m sorry…

Lae’zel: Would you like a knife?

#incorrect quotes #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #lae'zel

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