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@incompetentcolleague
IC told me that a task was impossible. I assured him that it was not only possible, but that I would complete it in under five minutes. Of course, I made sure to attach a wager.
And they say that there's no such thing as a free lunch :D
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Sleep? Need to wake them up first!
Me: Have you configured the automatic shutdowns yet? IC: It's not working because the Wake-on-LAN packets aren't getting through.
I wish IC was here
...
... being tortured instead of me.
Me: IC, why haven't you sorted out a printer problem reported at 3PM on Friday?
IC: 'yesterday completely from 10 to 3:45 I worked in /same building/. Didn't get a chance to look !!!'
No participation certificates
Me: *shows how to install certificate* IC2.0: You need to show me how to install the certificate. Me: I already have. IC2.0: OK. Maybe you have. You need to show me again. Me: *shows how to install certificate* Boss: Do you understand now. IC2.0: I guess, but it's very complicated... #headdesksmash
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POP quiz
Teacher: At the bottom of the web page when you click on the link is an email link which seems to be driven through Outlook but it won't work but I need it to book work experience and the deadline is tomorrow. IC2.0: Sorry, we don't have Outlook.
I can wait...
IC2.0: Receptionist can't log in. I have checked login. May be the network connection. Me: Did you PING her computer? IC2.0: Yes. Me: VNC? IC2.0: Yes. Me: How could it be a network connection problem if you can VNC? IC2.0: She was already logged in but the screen was idle. Me: You just said that she can't log in.
*waiting*
Me: You filled the A3 tray with two reams of A4, this will cause jams. IC2.0: You should have told me these things in training. Me: You want a list of mistakes not to make? I'm letting you know now. IC2.0: I was busy with other tickets. Me: That makes zero sense.
IC2.0: *thinking out loud* I can't figure things out here. Maybe I should just quit. Go back to contracting.
Just say what you see
IC2.0: Where is the mac music software? Me: K:\_mac\Sibelius.dmg IC2.0: But that's not an .exe file. Me: No, it isn’t.
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IC2.0 had an argument with the boss, then sent us both this!! I think boss might die from laughing. RIP.
On live chat technical support:
Agent: No, our product doesn't allow that. Me: Is there another way that you'd suggest? Agent: Is there anything else I can help you with? Me: Yes. Agent: 'Yes, please.'
Me: ...
*by email* Teacher: Hi, I'd like to change my log in password as a pupil may have seen it
IC2.0: Ok, I've changed your password to: password Teacher: Thanks! Me: (I'm 99% that request came from a student)
I set IC2.0 a little project to keep him busy. Basic accounts administration, mapping a shared drive etc...
He called me to say that he was stuck, so I nudged him in the right direction.
Then he called to ask if I could do it. He's been two days, they're needed tomorrow.
Set them up, tested, and told him to have a look at how I'd done it so he'd know for next time.
He's just sent me an email with the subject line 'Well done'.
Boss: I have to leave to go to IC's parents' evening. Me: Do you mean your son's parents' evening? Boss: What did I say?
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Someone thanked IC for 'all his work' with chocolates. So I've eaten them.
IC is working with me today. He 'didn't realise' he needed his keys.