fire in her veins

“well – looks like i’ll be heading home for christmas.”

The redhead stopped shovelling books, clothes and records into her suitcase. A wide smile began growing on her lips at hearing the familiar voice of her dear friend.

             "Even retreating home, you won’t escape from me.                    We will be catching up over the break, and that is a demand.”

“It’s certainly not that I feel like a criminal — simply that I’m being treated as one. I do suppose weeks of having one’s house blamed for crimes committed by another tends to take such a toll, though after recent revelations, I don’t suppose you’d understand. After all, any guilt weighing on your mind isn’t phantom like my own, but entirely merited.”

"I can certainly see that the events of the past few weeks has taken a toll on you. It was only yesterday that I heard someone whispering about the bags under your eyes and you truly do look exhausted, you poor thing. But back to the matter of guilt, I actually referring to the guilt that must be such a burden for you and your house. I simply can't imagine what the weight of the guilt of incriminating an innocent house must feel like."

A bemused smile crossed his face as he squinted at her. “Yeah the Potters,” he rather liked the sound of that for his parents, “how many Potters in the magical world do you know?” This wasn’t exactly the first time James had to explain it, truthfully. Even the most informed people had a hard time understanding that his parents were his parents and not his grandparents or an aunt and uncle or something. They were really old and James was, as his mother was fond of saying, a miracle baby. Most people tended to double take when he explained. She fiddled with the hem of her skirt, the movements grabbing his attention, which then drew his attention to her legs, which were…distracting. Don’t be a git, Potter. He looked up, scoffing at what she said, a bit more melodramatic to hide the sudden awkwardness in his throat. “You know, I think I may have noticed that too. Once or twice in passing.” Or nearly everyday. Many of them were not subtle no matter how hard they tried and many of them didn’t even bother to try. Honestly, he hadn’t expected a truthful answer to his question, and the fact that she gave him–him who she so claimed to dislike–softened him, and perked up the ever present hope in his chest when it came to Lily. He met her beautiful, green eyes and gave a small nod. Honestly the only way James thought that could’ve been worse was if the crucio was involved or if they actually killed her. He kept this to himself though, she didn’t seem too keen on the subject. James wouldn’t be either. He nodded. “So this article about my dad you read, what is it about? I didn’t even know one was coming out, I swear the git never tells me anything.” A change of subject, for her sake, and because James genuinely hadn’t known. His fondness for the man was etched into every letter he spoke.

"Not too many," she retorted, her cheeks flushing a little bit more. Her experience with the wizarding community and the prominent families within it, was limited at best. The famed auror Potter had been mentioned to her in the past, though she hadn't connected him to James. Mostly due to the fact that she hadn't seen him as a normal person, simply as an irritating, trouble-making idiot. But she couldn't tell him that, ever. "You must be really proud of them." Lily rolled her eyes, glancing across at him. "Fine, it's clear that you know who they are. I didn't think it was obvious to y---" she trailed off, the unspoken sentence that she didn't think he'd notice because he wasn't one of their usual victims. Though that wasn't fair at all. He was standing up for the right side and naturally he would face the consequences too. "Well I didn't think it was that obvious." Her heart thudded against her rib cage, a sound that she clung to in the darkness of her nightmares. A sound that cried out; 'I'm alive, I'm alive and you can't hurt me'. A grateful smile crossed her lips at his sudden move in conversation. It wasn't a topic that one could linger on, for fear that it might consume her completely. "It was an article that was commending the changes and contributions that he made to the wizarding community. It was a really good read actually. I've got the article in the common room, if you'd like to read it."

An odd duality of feelings swept through James. On the one hand, he was fired up to do something, completely ready to dive into whatever it was they needed to do to do something (even if that something involved something as dull as research). On the other hand, he was hyperaware of everything surrounding him, as often happened whenever Lily was around, and the two mixing together had too much adrenaline coursing through his veins with him having little idea of what to do with it. Still, James focused. He listened. He nodded.

“My parents,” he answered immediately. “They used to be aurors, fantastic ones at that, so they pretty much know everyone in the department and could pull a few strings to get some details. I didn’t really recognize any of the aurors here, so I doubt it’s ones they’re close to, but it’s worth a shot. Besides, it’s not like they’d tell on me for asking.” James ran a hand through his hair, noting the glint Evans had in her eyes and liking it very much. “Speaking of potential suspects, who do you suspect? I don’t think anyone who was actually accused actually did it. It just doesn’t fit with what I know about them and is clearly just part of the cover up. And obviously it wasn’t anyone in Gryffindor. Obviously. No one in Gryffindor would do anything like that to….” the you went implied and he winced, shifting his weight and growing more serious. Then, after a moment:  “H-How’re you doing anyway Evans?” James was uncharacteristically hesitant in asking this, unsure how Lily would respond, but, then, he was the one who found her, so perhaps he had more right to inquire than anyone else (James wasn’t sure if he exactly liked that or not).

Shivers raced down her spine, an sensation that electrified every inch of her body. For the first time in months, she felt like she was in the right place. As a girl who thrived on control; taking action instead of waiting around and considering everything gave her ability. Perhaps this was what she was meant to do. Perhaps this was what they were meant to do.

"Wait, your parents are the Potters?" she questioned incredulously, not having made the connection between the famed aurors and the slightly mad trouble making boy in her house. "They're fantastic, I just read an old article about your dad the other day." She trailed off, her cheeks slightly tinged pink at her enthusiasm. Lily played with the hem of her skirt for a moment before concentrating on the main issue. "Well that would be really helpful, we can definitely learn a bit more about the other aurors through them." She paused for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. "I don't want to state names just yet, but there's a rather tight knit pureblood community within the school and I have a hunch that several of them are not particularly enamoured with muggleborns." At that question, the one that everyone wanted to ask but some were too afraid to ask, her skin went feverishly hot and then bitterly cold, a sick feeling then gathered in the pit of her stomach. Instead of plastering the wide smile on her lips and spitting out the monotonous phrase trying to convince them that she was fine, Lily decided to answer him properly. He was one of the few who deserved a truthful response. He'd been there. "I've been better, but it could've been worse," she murmured, her eyes gradually meeting his. Somehow she knew he'd understand her answer.

              Mistletoe.     It was the most infuriating holiday plant around especially at Hogwarts when certain ones were charmed to TRAP couples underneath it. That’s why Octavia had been very careful to avoid it thus far. She had woken up late, however, which meant that she wasn’t exactly paying attention as she rushed to her first class. She’d been hurrying towards the dungeons for potions and then— nothing. She couldn’t move. Her eyes wandered up first to see the horrid plant then back down to the shadow hovering in front of her.           “ Bloody hell… of course. ”

Volunteering to tutor several third years early in the morning had seemed like a perfectly decent idea at the time. Just not after stumbling in bleary eyed and with a pounding headache. Stomping through the hallways, a scowl tugging at her lips and her temper radiating off her like a force field, the red head was rather upset to find that she now couldn't move a muscle.

Glancing across at the blonde, Lily couldn't help but inwardly curse the entire universe for this catastrophe. "Really? Today of all days?" she spat out, her venom directed at that bloody misletoe. Her eyes flashed with anger, before settling her temper to concentrate on the issue at hand. "Not exactly feeling the Christmas spirit today. Now do you know any spells to disarm this ridiculous charm?"

“Could you kindly keep a few more paces behind me? Your footsteps in my ear and breath on my neck do not inspire comfort, and I do hate to be followed like a criminal when I’ve done nothing wrong.”

"My sincerest apologies, you were walking rather slowly but I didn't intend to make you feel unlawful. Though it is unusual to feel like a criminal from something so minute, perhaps something else is weighing on your mind."

                                                                                  A halo of dark locks fell in waves, spreading over old parchments like liquid chocolate, whilst her cheek, indented into the palm of her upturned hand slipped, elbow sliding across the table. With a jolt, Andromeda was awakened, exhaustion evident on the the young girl’s face. The soft murmurs of studying students had lulled her into a sleep, when focus was NEEDED. She glanced upwards, noticing a familiar face. “–Have you been stood there long?”

                                                                                  Tapping her muggle pen against the wooden table, her eyes began to flutter closed. She rested her head on the half finished essay, beginning to drop into a deep slumber. A noise startled her, stopping the bewildered red head from succumbing from her exhaustion."Not too long," she replied, trying to stop a yawn from escaping her lips. The red head smiled across at the middle Black sister, recognising the familiar look of tiredness etched across her features. "They've honestly got to start giving us some more invigorating assignments, these ones are clearing sending us to sleep."

james: i don’t understand you. once i thought that i knew everything that you were: an arrogant selfish prick who lives for attention. it was a fact that i kept, one that i was so sure of. it was a constant in my life, one of the few and i really didn’t want to let it go. in a way, it was comforting knowing that i loathed you. but now i don’t know anymore. i wish that i hated you.

james: does anyone tell you how brave you are? i’m sure sirius and peter and remus must mention it in passing sometimes, but does anyone really sit you down and tell you? you could be living a life of ease, with the pure blood running through your veins, you have that option. but you didn’t take the easy path, james potter, you took the difficult one. you decided to stand up for what you believe in, regardless of your heritage and regardless of the society that you grew up in. you’re fighting a fight that doesn’t have to be your fight, but you’re at the front of the lines. 

james: don’t you feel the pressure of the future when you lie awake at night? it’s a palpable force, that digs into your flesh and makes you consider what kind of world you’ll be living in. there’s so much hatred in the world. it’s a poison that spreads and spreads and sometimes i’m not sure that anyone can clean it up. but i want to try. something tells me you do too. 

james: fighting back the butterflies and longing stares is tiring. god, it’s so tiring. i don’t know how i started to feel this way about you. i’m the girl who has an answer for everything but i have no fucking clue and it frightens me. i can’t let myself feel this way, james. with so much uncertainty and so much pain to go through, i can’t let myself feel anything like this. yes i know, you’ve been there for me when no one else was or no one knew how, you have stood up for me more times than i can count and something tells me that you’re not going to stop. but i can’t tell you how i feel. i’ve had the same nightmare for a couple of weeks now, everything’s dark and frightening and they’re all around me, but you save me in the knick of time and they murder you instead. don’t you see?? i can’t let myself feel for you because i can’t let you get hurt. i know i’m jumping ahead here, i know it. but something tells me that this isn’t a stupid crush. i wish it was just a stupid crush, i really do. for both of our sakes.

charity: how do you hold the sunshine inside of yourself when there’s so much darkness outside, charity? your optimism is astounding, a beacon of light that never falters. i used to be optimistic for the future, trying to convince myself that nothing was going to happen. but i took a look outside and i can’t do that anymore. do you not look outside anymore, charity? is that how you manage it?

charity: what do you do when ‘lucy in the sky’ doesn’t bring a smile to your face? john, paul, george and ringo just aren’t working like they used to. charity, they’re the ultimate cure for anything but they’re not curing me now. i don’t know what to do, i don’t want to live in a world where i can’t smile anymore and they can’t help me.

charity: sometimes i just wish that you’d stand up to them properly and declare your views. you are so interested in muggle objects, muggle rituals, every bloody muggle thing but sometimes i don’t think you’re interested in the muggleborns at this school. sure you stand up for them, but not taking a side is exactly the same thing as pretending it’s not happening. please charity, it’s only going to get worse from here. can’t you see what’s happening?

charity: don’t get mad but im a littleee bit drunkl;l and i maaaaayyy or may not have let robbie jameson borrRow one of our records. yeSS I KNOW he’s an absouttte klutz and will quite possiblyyet smear jam across one of our babieeees but he’s juST BROEkN UP WIHT HIS GIRLFREINDDD and he did those ppuppy dog eyes GOD CHARITY I’M TOO WEEEEAK HE’S TOO HOTT HELP WHY DID I DO THISSSS

Did she sound impressed? James very much thought she sounded impressed. He tried not to let it get to him. “Well I am amazing.”

The corners of his mouth twitched upward as Evans spoke. Lately it felt like everyone he spoke to wanted to wait, to think, to hesitate, when all he wanted to do was act, and here was Evans as certain as he was about Gryffindor, as certain as he was about doing what’s right. She already had a few ideas…. “Is that even a question? Of course I’m in little unicorn; let’s pounce.”

She couldn't help but roll her eyes, a customary response when dealing with James Potter. Though unusually this time, a little smile crept up on her lips.

"So first of all, we need to l e a r n all of the last names of the aurors and discover their familial connections. Then we can tie them to the potential suspects. We're going to need to figure out a way where we can learn this information without asking too many questions," she finished, her mind concentrating on how to accomplish this task. "We don't want them getting suspicious," she added, a flicker of mischief in her eyes. It wasn't that she was finding delight in the misery that someone had caused. But it felt truly good, doing something.

emmeline: i heard two hufflepuffs debating over whether you had hurt those two students today. it hurt to hear your name being tainted, sullied by the disgusting little cockroaches who actually harmed them. i couldn’t hold my tongue, and i threatened them with a detention. i know, not very professional but i won’t let them talk about you like that.

emmeline: you don’t deserve the rumours and gossip, the hateful glances and the appreciative smiles. you deserve to be talked about for your own accomplishments, the good type. you’re dynamic, determined and incredibly smart; you should be talked about for all of that! it isn’t fair that they’ve done this to you!

emmeline: do you feel like there’s this mounting pressure that’s going to swallow you all up if you’re not good enough? i feel like you’re one of the only people who would understand, but a part of me wonders if it’s just me freaking out about this sometimes. i just have this need to prove myself, and i feel like you’d get it. 

emmeline: can you feel the tension rising, em? i feel it like a force and i just know that i have to change it somehow. there’s something brewing, something dark and hateful, and if i’m not planning on how to tackle it, then it just frightens me half to death. i feel like we are responsible for turning it all around. don’t you em?