Incase I’m Forgotten

If this man breaks up with me I fear I will the worst split ever

My relationship feels dead :/

No no no no no no. I love him and only him. I don’t want to catch feelings for another person. It just happened and I don’t like it. Maybe it’s just because I’m feeling desired and lusted after and he hasn’t mad me feel that way in a long time.

Being hypersexual is a curse.i feel disgusting and gross every time I get wet in a strange place without having a true trigger to be horny.

This is my most secret account, I’ll tell others about my nsfw accounts and ed accounts one day, but never ever this one. There are my darkest secrets and thoughts.

I want to end things. I can feel myself slipping back into my old habits and I don’t want my boyfriend to see me like that. I don’t know how I’m supposed to bring up that I’m feeling so overwhelmed that each night I want to cry, I’m using masturbation and my nsfw accounts to feel like I’m important. I want to drink so much, I want to go back to opioids, I miss the high.

January 21 2026

Is my boyfriend actually planning a life with me or his doing that thing where guys will plan out your lives together before ending the relationship.

I remembered my first memory, the room was lightly lit by large candles. The light through the stained glass windows lite like a firework in the sky as the thundered clapped, the rain against the windows like a cry for a father who adores you until you turn 12 and start to resemble him too much. Never mind that we’re not there yet. I must get over this but remember you are loved and cared for. But your fat as fuxk and need to loose weight othered you’re a fat fuck and deserves. To die. Anyway I remember the feeling of silk on my skin and the words “blessed be”. Then the memory buffers like skip in a vhs tape. When I return to the ceremony and then I wake up.