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@inappropriatehistory

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Martin Luther when he began the Protestant reformation in Europe. (1517)

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macyâs photographer: we donât do family portraits âin the style of Hieronymus Boschâ
me, herding my 53 pasty white children off my flesh mantis castle I brought from home: please just honor my $17.99
what if people described other things the way they sensationalize âfrivolous lawsuitsâ that actually made complete sense
âArchduke Franz Ferdinand was injured during a traffic incident and suddenly half of Europe is at war whoaa talk about overreactingâ

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ancient philosophers as onion headlines
socrates: Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up
plato: Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch
diogenes of sinope: Area Man Expected To Work With These Incompetents
aristotle: Here Are All Of My Opinions
pythagoras: Nationâs Math Teachers Introduce 27 New Trig Functions
epicurus: Grown Adult Actually Expects To Be Happy
cicero: Itâs Terrifying To Think That In 1,000 Years, All Of Us Will Be Forgotten Except For Me
seneca the younger: New Robot Capable of Unhealthily Repressing Emotion
epictetus: Universe Crueler, More Uncaring Place Than Previously Thought
marcus aurelius: Annoying, Well-Adjusted Friend Even Fucking Meditating Now

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Fun fact: According to Greek legend there was a famous prostitute who managed to avoid a death sentence by showing the judges her boobs and arguing that it would be a crime against the Gods to destroy something so beautiful.Â
Before you ask, yes there are paintings of this. And yes, theyâre amazing.
Read more.
I love history.
Role models tho.
The gay one
No, but this is one of my absolute favorite bits of history!Â
The courtesan named was named Phryne and she was indeed a renowned beauty, and was indeed was put on trial for a capital crime. And yes, the sum of her defense consisted of her stripping in court (helped by her lover/defendant) and asking the jury (all males) if they were prepared to destroy this.Â
But this is actually a very interesting case of Values Dissonance - the capital crime she was accused of was blasphemy. In Ancient Greek society, exceptional beauty was a sign of favor from the gods, and they took the idea that beauty indicated goodness with great seriousness. They even called their nobles Kaloi k'Agathoi, âthe Beautiful and the Good.âÂ
So by showing off her great physical beauty, Phryne was being very clever indeed, her argument essentially being âHow could I possibly commit blasphemy if the gods have given me this body?âÂ
God, I adore history.Â
âIf these tits are legit, you must acquit.â
historians: well we dont want say this is a love letter because men often expressed affections differently back then, so this person wasnât gay, they were just friends
the letter in question: hey babe i cant wait for you to raw me tonight. aw man i love you so much dear husband. love having amazing homosexual intercourse with you. i think of your face everytime my wife makes me fuck her, you are my soulmate, i am gay,