Just so everyone knows, we are living through a future history class.

Sucks to be price gouged doesn’t it? Now imagine being a diabetic and being price gouged for the last 20 years and no-one ever does anything about it.

Luigi affords a mansion, yet he’s an out of work plumber who spends all his time helping his brother chase after a princess

It’s pretty weird that ‘boxer’ is a profession, a dog breed, and a type of underwear.

If your skipping rocks and it goes into the water, you could be the last person to touch that rock till the end of time

If you’re working 2 shifts at McDonald’s, you are working a McDouble

Elastigirl could, mid-sex, swallow Mr Incredible’s entire body with her pussy.

Lego people live in houses made out of their flesh

Adam and Eve had to raise teenagers, but they were never teenagers beforehand.

Life is an STD. Sexually transmitted and 100% fatal.

When you clench your sphincter muscles to hold in a fart you’re diverting all power to shields.

“Darth” is to Sith lords what “Lil” is to rappers.

Pronouncing the “E” at the end of “Testosterone” makes it sound like a pasta.

Please marry me! She's so perfect