Captain Asshole

*is beautiful and doesn’t deserve this*

hello, is this mcdonalds? ah yes, i would like to make reservations for 2

I watched this indonesian horror movie and they did have some “bloopers” except instead of being funny outtakes, they were points in filming where they were forced to stop because the actress playing as the ghost got possessed a couple times and they had to do an exorcism

I’m sorry what?

“your eyes hella red u been smokin??” no I been crying bitch leave me alone

Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

SPONGEBOB MY BOY I’VE BEEN HOTRAILING METH FOR A MONTH AND NOW I HAVE MORGELLON’S ARGH ARGH

Yeah seriously, sex education never told me any of this in school. Little me was panicked seeing the dark coloured bits and i had no clue that’s just the normal colour blood goes when its clotted or dried.

This is wayyyyy too relatable 😂