Today, i ate nothing but two bites of a salad so far. And i drank an energydrink bc i can't live without that shit. Not hungry and all. My scale says 45,2kg (100lbs) and I'm around 45 for a few weeks now.

Thats actually nice, because I wont go over 46, no matter if i'm trying to watch my weight or nothing at all. When I'll try (which i will i guess) i could reach the 95lbs/43kg soon. And from then on the 90lbs/40kg aren't far away, i mean i was already at 98lbs a few days ago.

tumblr: check these tags!!

cw: 45.1 (-0.5)

gw: 42 (3.1 to go)

todays intake:

- black tea with sugar (50)

- sushi (200/300?)

- pizza rolls (342)

total: 692

notes:

feels like i'm falling apart again. good times over and shit, enough. maybe i'll start cutting myself again. i'm sure that soon i will have - again - nothing to lose anymore.

Without smoking weed I'm so much less hungry, I bet i can easily wait till 10pm (dinner) and eat a bit of sushi and tomorrow I'll be under 100lbs/45kg.

All I ate till now was a piece of kiwi, a coffee and a few pomegranate seeds.

If I countinue like this, I will be at my ugw by the end of November.

And now, I will do some exercises.

cw: 46.6 (-0.8)

gw: 42 (-4.6 to go)

todays intake:

- Noodles with egg (200)

- bite of a cookie (10)

- salad (100)

- black tea with sugar and honey (30)

- 1 chili cheese nugget (50)

- coke (42)

total: 432

burnt: /

(I don't know the exact calories of all of them, only guessing)

notes:

actually it's already the 6th but it would'nt send yesterday and yeah wassup

„Higher than the highest goes,

darker than the blackest hole

Feel myself release my soul,

cw: 46.6 (-0.5)

gw: 42 (4.6 to go)

todays intake:

- Noodles with shrimps and red pepper (250)

- Black tea with honey and sugar (idk 50?)

notes:

been crying the whole day and listening to lil peep, i feel like i should better be dead i think my boyfriend would do better if i'd just kill myself. i feel like he doesnt even love me anymore but no wonder, i'm miserable