I’m an 19yo computer science student stumbling her way through life. This blog is pretty much just gonna be my brain shitting out whatever it feels like. I lost my last account after only having it for a week •_•
This blog is gonna function a little like a journal, sometimes it’s me nerding out about the things I love, sometimes it’s vent posts. You’ve probably seen the whole block don’t report thingy a million times. I’ll put my crazier vent posts under read more. Also most of my posts about metal are going to be on my side blog @xxm3talh34d4lif3xx so if you’re into that go check it out!!
This intro post is getting kinda long so I’ll put my interests under this :D
Interests!!!
Generally I love Linux, gaming, metal, a little bit of punk, programming, game dev, and tabletop games
Favorite bands :D
Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Death, Slayer, Darkthrone, Emperor, Immortal
Favorite albums!!!
Under a Funeral Moon, Panzerfaust, A Blaze in the Northern Sky, that one album by Leviathan that I don’t want to name because I don’t want to put a trigger warning here :), Under a Godless Veil, Countdown to Extinction, Rust in Peace, Killing is My Business, Bleed the Future, Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk, Monotheist, Dopethrone, Kvelertak, Caught Somewhere in Time, Tarot, Symbolic, Sons of Northern Darkness, Seasons in the Abyss, Reign in Blood
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I was telling a friend that I’ve known since I was like 10 about the time someone asked if I had autism after knowing me for 30 minutes. Her honest to god response to this was “wait you don’t?”
Y’all some of my moots have been here and seen me at my worst so like idc if we haven’t even exchanged a word all my moots are free to cross any social boundaries with me. Like DM me, vent to me, you want my discord? Hell if you really wanted I’d give my phone number lmaoo. We’re all silly people on cringeblr we gotta be a little cringe.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Something that bothers me so much is the speed that online friendships move at. It feels like I meet a new person then for a week we’re inseparable then the next we don’t even talk. It’s not like these people are shallow, it’s just how life works. I think that it’s because that’s how life works that scares me. This week my therapist asked me that if I decided tonight was the night who would I call to try to dissuade me or get myself to safety. I couldn’t answer the question. When everything becomes so cyclical it’s just hard to have any faith in the future. Someone needs to teach me how to make irl friends 😭
I just punched a robot angel with four arms the size of a skyscraper so hard that he learned fear for the first time. Then as the clanker was trying to run away I made a harpoon out of a cell tower and steel cable and scorpion “get over here”ed him. I then parried his giant evil dastardly death laser twice with some sci-fi katana before grabbing him by the toe and slamming him against the ground. God I love ttrpgs.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i think the crux of human misery stems from the fact that our skeleton just wants to sit around and accumulate dust in an ancient barrow (that is the innate imperative of all skeletal remains in-case you didn’t know) but our meat has its own agenda which creates this fundamental conflict of interests
Is it normal to get like mega imposter syndrome after you come out as trans?? Like I find myself keeping on trying to convince myself that I’m not trans and I’m actually a guy but I keep coming across every sign that I am in fact trans. Holy fuck I get giggly when I write the word estrogen. Maybe it’s just a part of me that thinks it’s so much easier and safer to stay he/him?? Like instead of thinking about how being a woman makes me feel I think about the million what ifs that could go wrong. Guhhhh I need a hug. I’m gonna wear a skirt to my friend’s house Thursday tho <3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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What’s the point of venting or making sense of your emotions when nothing ever makes them bearable. I just want a way to deal with the pain that isn’t self destructive.
