John

It feels so fucking good when you get bored of the 3 late songs you were obsessed and play all the songs you downloaded on random, like, fuck yeah, I get why I have these 1072 songs

Everyday there's suffering and agony (I can't manifest to existence the idea of a fanfic with all the stuff I like)

I too, want to feel motivated to change my life for the better after a kind gesture

If I hear 'Carry on my wayward son' without the context of watching supernatural, I have a flight or fight response immediately

I have a fanfic idea but I dont write, I want to write it but i dont know how, I really think I would figure it out and hopefully publish it one day, but fr if that happens im so fucking sure that the fandom would be already dead

Theres a work of art (fanfic) that have daily updates and im not normal about it, I check everytime I have my phone and eat it like im starved, im thankful ofcrs, but at this point I feel the need to show my appreciation to another level

Oh no sweetheart, not again :(

Maaaan, I feel fine, I usually got more absorved by one side than by another, meaning, sometimes I like men more and other times I like women more, but rn? I'm equally struck and in some twisted way it makes me feel complete and it's just, hell yeah I'm bisexual

I have these moments when I'm hopeless, just aching for affection, for touch, alone and thinking why it's so hard to find someone like me? I'm constantly missing someone that doesn't exists, I just wish and daydream about them, about having someone by my side, by listening them talk about stuff they like while I have an arm around them and just be happy with them, enjoying the moment, how I would put them close to me and hug them or kiss them or hold them, how much I would love to be huged by them too, and sure, maybe it isn't healthy to think those stuff, but it's really that bad? Wanting to share and be with someone else who gets you? To care and count on someone else? I'm just tired to be left alone and pushed aside man, I drink to forget it but it only make it worse, make me weak enough that I can't control it, my heart breaks, twist and aches more and all I can think it's that I can't cry, I won't cry, because I can't show how weak I am, how much I would sacrifice for just a bit of love, just a bit of touch, just a bit of affection.

Being touchstarved is sickening, it's heartbreaking, the feeling of missing something, someone who is right there, how lonely it's everyday and it gets worse when more people is around you, how your hand itchs for contact and all you can do is stare at peoples hands, wishing, dreaming of holding them, how awful is to finally have a hug and know that it wasn't enough time to stop it, how selfish you feel because you want, need more, how awkward would feel to ask for any of it so you shut up about it, shove it down and be thankful that you got any contact at all, and it's fucking embarrasing when you finally ask and all you get is a weird stared and a 'no', because you are not worthy, you are not special, you are not a lover, and other people don't really crave touch like you do so they don't want it

Ughhh, bro, there was this girl that was beside me for a class (jumping) and god, her face, her body, the way she carried herself, it was beautiful, she was so fucking cute, and it's dumb because I didn't even notice her that much before and I did now bcs we touched hands accidentally (there wasn't that much space for the equipment) and once she plain told me to guide her on some steps, I don't know why but that shit just make me feel right, good, and probably won't see her anymore but yeah, she is lovely and got me lovestruck pretty fucking hard