"Happiness is two kinds of ice cream"

I saw his post and thought he was probably going through something tough So when he said he was coming over, I started making plans, hoping that maybe, in some small way, I could help him feel a little better.

I didn't want to ask what was wrong. The last time I asked why he had suddenly abandoned my text, he told me he felt annoyed by how much I texted. Deep down, I knew it’s becaude he’d reconnected with someone who could offer him the kind of happiness I couldn’t…

I cried coz it hurts. But I forces myself to make peace with it.

So today when he told me he’d come but he didn’t I am left feeling dissapointed. More than that, I was sad.

I miss everything about him. The random conversations, the books we'd talk about, our chess games, coffee runs, late night netflix movies, and even his good taste in perfumes.

Sometimes I wish I could tell my friends about all this confusion and sadness I am experiencing and how do I get over it... But I know that if I did, they would judge him, and that's not what I want. I don't want them to see him differently just because I'm hurting.

To this day, I still don't understand why I can't stop loving him in silence. If it had been anyone else, I would have let them go and stop caring a long time ago. But with him, no matter how much time passes, no matter how much he hurts me, I am still holding on, still hoping that he would see me the way I see him. Still hoping that this feelings can be reciprocated.

Soon, we'll be living in two different states, and the thought of being completely on my own hits a little harder than I'd like to admit…

Atta gurl. ✨ ma Boo lily is lillying heh. 🩷