jen

encino, ca

it’s early friday afternoon, summer of 1979, and instead of hitting the town with your girls you’re at home, rereading your favorite book, charlie and the chocolate factory, for the umpteenth time. it’s not that you don’t like going out, no—you were just hoping to get a call from your best friend michael and that he would ask you to hang out, is all. you made sure to keep one or two evenings out of your week free just for him, given his crazy work schedule and all the other stuff that comes with being a buzzing solo artist. 

you are at the part where veruca salt is being captured by the squirrels when the sound of your landline ringing catches your attention. excitement bubbles up within you as you hastily bookmark the page you were on and hurry over to the phone. 

“hello?” you answer, waiting to see if it’s him. the person on the other end chuckles, and you recognize it immediately as michael, knowing his laugh from anywhere. 

“hey mama.”

“hey michael.” you lean against the wall, twirling the phone cord around your fingers. not even five words spoken and you’re already blushing; a reaction only he could get out of you. lately, all it really took was for him to look at you, with his kind eyes and beautiful smile.

“are you busy?” he asks, and you can tell he’s smiling as he talks. 

“no, just doing some reading.”

“let me guess, charlie and the chocolate factory?”

you laugh, glancing over at the book laying on the couch. “how’d you know?”

“cause it’s your favorite, and i know my girl.”

“how are you?”

“i’m good, thank you for asking. what about yourself?”

you hear some shuffling on his end, and what sounds like a car door closing. “well, if i’m being honest, i’m feeling a little lonely. i was wondering if my favorite person would come keep me some company.” 

“sure, i’d love to.” you tell him, already thinking about what you could wear. 

“you’re not busy, are you? with your studies and all?” michael hesitates. you were in your junior year of college, studying english, and it was very important to him that he never distracted you from your academic commitments. 

“no, mikey,” you giggle, finding his concern cute. “i finished all my work earlier today.”

“you promise?”

“i promise.”

“okay, good.” he says, sounding at ease. “i’ll be over to get you in about an hour.”

you hear michael and bill arrive in your driveway an hour later on the dot. you peek out the window and see him leaning against the car, arms crossed in front of him as he patiently waits for you. your stomach flips with anticipation as you check yourself one last time in your vanity mirror. you take a few more seconds to meticulously position certain curls of your braid out and apply one more coat of your favorite shimmery lipgloss before you rush out of your house.

michael notices you right away, a big smile stretching across his face as you saunter over to greet him. he looks so good, wearing a simple outfit of blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt. you briefly worry that your white halter top and floral print skirt might be too much, but the way he checks you out and sheepishly rubs the back of his neck tells you you made the right choice.

“you look… wow.” he breathes. you playfully nudge his shoulder. “dang, michael. no ‘hello?’”

“right, sorry… hi.”

“hi.” 

“i’ve missed you.” he says, gently pulling you in for a hug. you squeeze him back, enjoying the smell of his cologne and the tenderness with which he holds you. “i missed you too, mikey.” 

he releases you first and grabs the handle of the backseat door, opening it and gesturing inside. “you ready to go?”

“of course.” 

you get in the car and he slides in next to you, shutting the door behind himself. bill is quietly playing sudoku in the driver’s seat, minding his own business as he typically did. 

“hey, bill!” you greet him, waving. he acknowledges you through the rearview mirror, tipping his head down in a nod. with how often you spent time with michael, the two of you had grown quite familiar as well. “hey sweetheart.”

bill puts his sudoku away in the glove compartment. he turns the key in the ignition and the engine roars to life. “where we headed to, mike?”

“just back home, please.” michael tells him, rolling the window down slightly. the summer breeze that creeps in flows through the curls resting against his forehead. 

“to hayvenhurst.”

as bill begins to reverse out of your driveway, you feel michael’s arm slide around your shoulders. unbeknownst to the both of you, bill sees this and chuckles to himself, shaking his head.

michael caresses your arm with his fingers, eyes glued on the houses of your neighborhood as you all ride past them. you take this as an opportunity to stare at the side of his face: not in a creepy way, but to admire his handsome features. His defined eyebrows and full eyelashes, the slope of his nose, the sharpness of his jaw. it’s definitely out of the ordinary to find your best friend so fine, but, what you and michael have is different, to say the least. to you it is, anyway. you’re still not one hundred percent sure if he gets butterflies when thinking about you or daydreams about spending time together the way you do.

he must be able to hear your thoughts, because he turns and catches you blatantly staring at him. he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t tease you. he just smiles. abashed, you look down at your lap, face now burning. 

to make some small talk he asks you about your week. you detail each of your classes and the sheer boatload of homework your professors assigned you. you tell him about your housemate and how she left her dirty plates in the sink for four days. you also tell him about a meeting with your academic advisor and express to him your nervousness about next fall because that’s when she said you should start applying for graduate school programs. he listens intently, hanging on to every word you say. what you don’t know is that he loves hearing you talk, whether that be on the phone or in person like this.

before you know it you’re at the hayvenhurst estate. bill pulls around to the front of the house and turns off the car, immediately going to retrieve his sudoku. michael hops out first and holds the door open for you. “thank you, bill, i’ll see you later.” you say before exiting the vehicle.

he doesn’t look up from the puzzle. “it’s no problem, sweetheart.”

as you expect, the first thing michael wants to do when the both of you get upstairs to his room is play something. he excitedly leads you over to the shelving unit in the corner which is overflowing with various board and table games. 

“you pick,” he tells you, shoving his hands into his front pockets and bouncing on his heels, excitement radiating off of him. “i picked last time.”

your eyes briefly land on twister. the idea of being tangled up with him on the floor, your limbs intertwined…it makes you shiver, so you scrap that idea immediately. you continue to scan the games. you decide on one, grabbing the box and holding it up.

“mancala?” he grins knowingly. it may or may not be the game you pick nine times out of ten.

“yes, i love mancala.”

“mancala it is.” 

you beat michael at mancala three separate times before he decides he’s had enough. 

“how do you win every time?” he asks, returning the game to its spot on the shelf. you shrug your shoulders, playing coy. “i dunno.”

“you’re a genius. you know something about it i don’t, huh?” 

“maybe.” you get up from the floor and sit crisscross on his bed. michael sits next to you, his knee lightly brushing against yours.

“one thing i do know,” he begins, sighing dreamily. “is that i could go for some ice cream. you want some?”

“michael, when have i ever said ‘no’ to ice cream?”

“right, right.” he laughs, standing once more. the afternoon sun is peeking through the curtains, making his honey brown skin appear golden. “i’ll make you a bowl. caramel and rainbow sprinkles?”

“with a cherry on top, please.” you remind him. you scooch backwards on his bed and make yourself more comfortable.

“yes ma’am.”

you and michael recline side by side, bowls of ice cream on your laps. he made it just the way you like. you enjoy it as a nice treat every once in a while, but you are convinced he would live off of the stuff if he could. on the tv plays an episode of the three stooges—michael’s choosing, of course. neither one of you say much, simply enjoying each other’s company, the silence only interrupted by your giggles at the characters doing something stupid and the clink of your spoons hitting the porcelain bowls. 

when you both finish eating you take both of the bowls and place them on the nightstand. when you turn back around you find michael no longer looking at the tv but instead directly at you. 

“everything alright, mikey?”

“yeah, i’m okay…i just wanna say thank you for spending time with me like this. i know these aren’t typical activities for people our age, but… i really appreciate you doing them with me.”

“oh michael,” you say, tilting your head to the side and smiling sweetly. “anytime spent with you is an amazing time.”

you can see his eyes light up. “you really mean that?”

you nod your head ‘yes.’ he swallows and licks his lips. it looks like he wants to say something else but he stops himself. “um, y-you wanna watch flintstones now?” you can tell that’s not what he wanted to say but you don’t push. you nod your head ‘yes’ again.

michael scrambles for the remote and switches to the cartoon channel. you both focus your attention back on the tv, the air between you a little different now. a few minutes in his arm comes to rest around your shoulders again. you snuggle into his side, wondering what was on his mind.

you watch two episodes of flintstones with michael. the setting sun tells you it’s getting later in the day. while you were finished with all of your homework for the week, you did plan on getting a headstart on a paper you had due in a few weeks. 

“michael, i think it’s time for me to get back home now.” you tell him begrudgingly, sitting up. michael immediately begins to pout. “aw, c’mon. it’s still bright outside!”

“i know, but i have a paper i want to start on.”

“hey, you told me you didn’t have any assignments left.”

“i’m working ahead, mikey. this 4.0 gpa isn’t gonna maintain itself.”

michael stands and holds out his hand for you. you take hold of it and stand as well, but your foot gets a little caught on the duvet. you stumble, heading straight for the floor, but michael is right there to catch you. 

he holds you up as you find your balance again. he’s extremely close, and you know you shouldn’t look at him ‘cause it’s gonna make you lose all your sense, however you can’t help yourself. he’s staring at you intently, concern all over his face. he’s so beautiful. 

“you okay?”

“y-yes. thank you for catching me.”

“of course…i-i’m gonna go call bill and tell him to pull the car around.”

“okay…”

a few seconds pass by and he still hasn’t let you go. he’s just staring at you, again looking like he wants to tell you something, but he’s stopping himself.

“...michael?” 

“yes?” he licks his lips. you ignore the flutter it makes you feel in your stomach.

“bill? the car?”

“oh, right, right. um, i’ll be right back.”

he reluctantly lets you go and leaves out to do what he said. you watch him as he goes. straight away you miss his warmth, the feeling of him holding you. you’re not sure what’s up with him all of a sudden. whatever it is, you hope you can get to the bottom of it before you’re back home.

you hate how quickly time seems to go by when you’re with michael. on your way out of the house, a quick glance at the clock in the hall told you that you’d been over for four hours already. it just goes to say again that you really enjoy each other’s company. 

michael is walking with his head tilted down a bit, his hands shoved into his pockets and a blank expression on his face. you find it adorable how sad he gets when it’s time for you to go home. it tugs on your heart at the same time, because you truly are his only friend. 

bill is waiting in the car when you get outside. michael opens the door for you, still not saying anything. you get in and he follows suit, except this time he intentionally leaves the middle seat open. he’s well within his rights to sit wherever he wants, but you can’t lie—it stings a little bit. especially when he stares straight out the window like he’s trying to ignore you. was he upset?

“going so soon?” bill asks you from the front seat, cranking the car. 

you swallow hard, hoping your voice comes out normal. “yeah, i got a paper i wanna get started on.”

“ah, college girl doin’ college things. we goin’ back to your house or the campus?”

“just my house, please.”

“you got it.”

you look down at your lap and play with your fingers. your mind swirls with the many possible reasons why michael is suddenly being this way. maybe you beat him too many times at mancala. 

the both of you look at bill when the car shuts off. he unbuckles his seatbelt and opens the door to get out. “hang tight, folks. i left my wallet in the garage.” he tells you both. 

he shuts the door behind himself and the silence between you and michael becomes deafening. with bill gone you see it as a perfect opportunity to try and talk with him.

“michael, is everything okay?” 

no response. 

“can you say something, please?” you push, a little more stern. 

still nothing.

now irritated, you turn your body the opposite way, huffing and crossing your arms. you absolutely weren’t anticipating getting the silent treatment from him, seemingly for no reason as well. “fine, be like that.”

you focused on the main garage doors, hoping to see bill walk through them. not even ten seconds later, you hear shuffling from his side, then his presence right next to you. 

“i’m sorry, baby. please don’t be upset.” 

in your stubbornness you refuse to look his way. using a finger under your chin he gently turns your head towards him. “please.”

“what’s your issue?” you demand, trying your hardest to look angry and not literally become putty in his hands. 

michael sighs. “i’m just really gonna miss you, s’all. and i wish my schedule wasn’t so crazy so we could see each other more often. i’m sorry for giving you the cold-shoulder. you know how i get sometimes.”

he appears genuinely remorseful for his actions. as he should, you think, deciding to forgive him. you give him a weak smile.

“i’m gonna miss you, too, pumpkin. and i feel the same way, but i understand.”

michael smiles back at you briefly before looking down. you place your hand on his knee to get his attention again. “is that all you have to say?”

michael takes notice of your features; your deep brown eyes, the curl of your lashes. the slope of your nose and the glossy pink of your lips. the scent of your perfume in the small confines of the backseat is clouding his senses. he can’t stop himself from cupping your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb. what he says next completely catches you off guard.

“you’re so pretty, i could stare at you for days…do you know how beautiful you are?”

you blush at the bold compliment. you don’t really know how to respond. it wasn’t unusual for him to be flirty, per se, be he’s never been this direct before. 

he almost looks hypnotized, his eyes sparkling with something you can’t quite decipher. “i’m sorry, i just…it’s getting really hard for me to act like i’m not crazy about you.”

you’re hyperaware of the lack of space between you too. “michael, what are you trying to say?” 

“i’m saying, i can’t just be your best friend anymore. these feelings i have on the inside, they’re just too much. i tried to write them into a song, i talked to my mother and bill about them. i even asked louie what i should do.” 

you both giggle at the thought of his pet llama listening to him talk about you. he takes hold of both of your hands into his own. 

“they all told me to get it off my chest, so… i think it’s high time i told you that… i love you.”

“you love me?” you repeat, not believing your ears.

“i love you, girl. i’ve met a lot of people in my life, but no one has ever made me feel the way you do. you’re kind, you’re smart, funny. you care about me so deeply… somewhere along the way, i started to see you as not only my friend, but someone i want and need by my side. it’s like, when you’re around me, the sun shines brighter and flowers smell sweeter, you know? you make my days better, mama, and i can’t hide it anymore.” michael beams, sincerity dripping from his every word. 

your heart thumps loudly within your chest. a rush of warmth washes over you as you consider everything he just said. here he was, your best friend, confessing his love for you on a random friday night, completely unprompted. you feel as if you could laugh, cry, and scream all at once.

and he’s still not done. “you support me in everything i do, all while working towards your own goals. i feel so at peace with you. i don’t have to pretend to be anything i’m not; you still accept me as i am. you’re wonderful and incredible and i love you… and, i guess the question now is, do you feel the same way?” he breathes, squeezing your hands and waiting for your response. except you don’t get to respond because bill opens the front driver-side door, having found his wallet. it startles you both. 

bill casually gets in, cranking the car up again. he looks at you two through the rear view mirror. “am i interrupting something?”

“sorry bill. we’ll be a few more minutes, actually.” michael quickly pushes his door open and pulls you out the car with him. you both hurry back to his room. his admission was heavy on your mind, and you kept replaying his words in your head. he loves you. your best friend just told you that he loves you.

when you arrive in his room michael gets shy acting again, closing the door and taking a seat on the edge of his bed. “i, um… i pictured myself telling you all that in a much more romantic setting, by the way. i’m sorry.” 

he loves you. he loves you. feeling emboldened by this reality, you walk over to him and stand between his legs. you take his hands and place them on your waist. he looks up at you with his big wide eyes expectantly. you cup his face with your hands, and, mustering up every ounce of courage you can, you lean down and close the distance.

tingles run down your body the second your lips meet his. the shock and realization over what you just did makes you pull away. you survey his face for even the slightest inclination of discomfort. all you’re met with is a look of desire and eagerness. 

michael brings his lips to yours once more and tightens his hold on you. he kisses you slowly and methodically, like he’s given lots of thought on how he’d kiss you if he ever got the opportunity. your mouths move in rhythm. he tastes vaguely like ice cream. every ounce of tension in your body melts away. you feel lightheaded, but also relieved in a sense. 

“michael..” you manage to whisper in between kisses. 

“i’m here, baby.” he whispers back, planting kisses on your cheek and down your neck. you shiver at the sensation. 

“i love you, too.” you tell him, and you mean it. you love him and his kind, gentle heart. you love his smile and his eyes and his sweet voice. you love how soft he is with you, how encouraging he is, how he cherishes you and the time you spend together. you love him dearly, and you’re glad it’s finally all out in the air. 

he kisses you one last time before pulling you down to sit on his lap. he rests his forehead against yours. a wide smile stretches across his face. “you have no idea how happy i am to hear you say that.”

you wrap your arms around his neck and hug him tightly. he buries his face into the crook of your neck. “my girl, my lady, my world.” you hear him mumble. you could stay like that forever, wrapped in his arms. in fact, you plan on it. you grip the collar of his shirt and kiss him again. he smiles against your mouth before he deepens it. 

that essay, along with bill, would have to wait just a little longer.